This week I posted a reminder on the Lactivist Facebook page that looked like this:
“Hi folks, just a reminder to keep pictures of breastfeeding off this page please. Facebook are really funny about it and I just don’t have the energy to fight them if they delete the page. Sorry (Lisa)”
The logic behind this is that if we have a rule that no pictures of breastfeeding can be posted then there is no way anything can be reported and there is no way we lose the page.
After I posted that request there were lots of comments that criticised me, comments like
“That makes me sad. FB is FB. Their rules suck and we all know it. You, however, are called “lactivist” and state quite clearly that your goal is to support breastfeeding. The ‘-ivist’ part of your name is from ‘activist,’ but there’s nothing very active about what you’re saying. How is it supportive of breastfeeding to ban your fans from posting their most precious pictures?” from Zen Parenting.
and
“maybe you should change the name of the page to “lactation,” since there is no activism in the roll-over-and-play-dead mentality you’ve adopted. un-liked.” from Bianca
and
“it does seem to be that the lactivist page is about selling products with slogans on, rather than any actual lactivism 
” from Sally.
Lactivist does make a little money, a whole £450 last tax year so I am also on tax credits as I’m clearly on a low income. I’m a single parent too so there is no rich hubby to bail me out 
Rules of tax credits are that you cannot volunteer and get them, you have to be seen to be trying to earn money. Having already been investigated for this I really have to be careful how I allocate my time. I can do a lot of facebook stuff in the name of market research and promotion and I try to do as much supportive stuff as possible as time allows.
I’m planning an ebook, I produce flyers and give them out for free, I donate numerous t shirts to groups as raffle.prizes. I’m having to pick my fights and I really have not got the time or energy to fight facebook who have historically banned people and deleted pages with pictures of breastfeeding.
The Facebook page has helped thousands of people, in order to stay that way I have to keep it workable. Have you ever tried to contact Facebook? Can you imagine the hours needed to reinstate a page? I applaud anyone who has got breastfeeding pictures on their page, and I agree totally that these pictures need to be seen so that breastfeeding in public is ‘normalised’ to the many people who find it offensive. However, this lactivist is fighting battles that can be won in the shorter term, not ones that leech energy.
I’m pissed off about all this, so pissed off that I’ve suspended the page while I think of what to do. I spend literally hours of my own unpaid time reposting requests for help, advertising breastfeeding groups, promoting other peoples products and generally trying to be supportive to those that need support. And it’s not only me, there is a team of volunteer admins all doing the same thing, keeping an eye on posts when people really need help, deleting the occasional hate mail and generally keeping the page running.
I don’t know how long I’ll keep the page offline for, I am considering just having it as a place to promote lactivist products and not as a support group.
There is only so much I, and the rest of the admins who have watched the Lactivist facebook page help thousands in the last few years can give.
Lisa
“Any old Cow” Short Sleeved T 3-6 months 
“Any old Cow” Short Sleeved T 6-12 months 
Care Instructions – Shopping Bag 
Any Old Cow – Shopping Bag 
Mummy Milk Rocks – Shopping Bag 
Oh this makes me sad. You do a wonderful wonderful job Lisa. We all know how ignorant some can be towards other peoples dilemas – we hear it all the time from people who are uneducated about breastfeeding- this time they were uneducated about the pressure you are under and made assumtions about you that were hurtful – we all know how that feels but Dont let it put you off. You have and continue to help so many. You have so much to give I for one am glad that you are allocating your time wisely so you dont burn yourself out.
HUGE hugs lisa,
Laura
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Please don’t let these comments get you down.
Although I’m proud of the fact I Breastfeed , rules are rules – so I as a member of Facebook , I abide by them .
You are valued so highly by myself and many of the Mums I know , please don’t give up or waste any more energy on these people.
Some people thrive on bringing others down xxx
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Totally 100% with you. I hope you don’t decide to freeze the page permanently as I have seen it grow WITH Facebook and know your worth. I have no breastfeeding pictures on Facebook on any of the pages I edit or run or own, for the same reason: my FB pages are too important to get closed, and I have other battles to fight. Bigger picture is important: not everyone can afford to sacrifice themselves – some of us have to live to fight another day.
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How supportive would it be if your page wasn’t there at all? You’ve got far better things to do, lovely Lisa, than argue with Facebook. Like give real information and support to breastfeeding mothers. Please don’t let these people get to you.
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I really feel for you! Keeping fighting the battles you believe you can win and the bigger battles will get smaller. I am always amazed when people attack someone like yourself who is at least trying to achieve something and right a wrong. We can all sit there and moan about the topsy turvy state of the world and it’s ridiculous attitude to something so natural but how many of those complaining have tried to do something even if it’s something comparably small to help and support people?!? I for one will be devastated if your facebook page wasn’t around because either these people made you feel like you couldn’t continue that support or because you got banned cos of the silly FB rules as I’ll be in need of all the help I can get come Sept when I have my 2nd child! However, I will understand if you just don’t think you can take that risk. Huge hugs and if there’s anything I can do to help just let me know.
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this is sad, why are we attacking each other now, we have enough people passing comments on breastfeeding, ive been humiliated and swore at in front of my children simply because of the way i choose to feed my child and even accused of abuse for breastfeeding a toddler. we should stick together and support each other in our choices, feel free to put nursing pictures of on your own profiles ‘like’ other mothers pictures nurse in public and smile at mothers you see nursing in public, thats whats needed to normalise breastfeeding. ‘lactivist’ gives us a means to do this with pro breastfeeding/home birthing etc slogans to wear, for our babies to wear that shows how we feel without us saying anything in case we are accused og guilting other mothers or labelled at ‘the breastapo’ a page called lactivist, a business page btw, is not going to be an effective place to teach about breastfeeding anyway since it will only attract people that already believe in lactivism (is that a word?) and trolls, and everyone knows you shouldnt feed the trolls….
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You have been doing a truly amazing job and for every person who says those unfair things, there’s probably 100 more that you have helped and who value your support, time and effort. Don’t let these few people get you down. I agree that bf should be normalised but I also respect that you are following the rules (whether or not they are fair). People should realise this shouldn’t be a militant, bullying campaign, we’re all on the same side!! Chin up Lisa and keep up the great work xxx
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Yah-boo-sucks to the negative people commenting. You do a grand job. Holy cow no idea tax credits r so strict, and a real eye opener for me and I’m sure others too! It’s the first rule of parenthood – ‘pick ur battles.’ Bet U owe nothing to anyone and especially not these critics. U will make the best call for u and ur family and if u never did another second d if support work, and u’ll still have done a while shitload more than most of us and I’d hazard a guess that includes many of these critical posters. Good luck and take care. Xx
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Ugh, I read the thread originally when I was nursing the boy to sleep so couldn’t type, and then it was gone when I got around to trying to post a message the next morning. I’m so sorry you got all that shit. Sometimes I think people forget there’s a human being behind the keyboard, and some the comments were as if you owed them something rather than being appreciative of your generosity. You are missed, you are valued, you are appreciated, and you are cared for. Try not to make a decision whilst emotions are still so high. I think lactivist is a really really valuable community, but ultimately do what’s best for you. x
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Hi Lisa
I think you do really great stuff and I hope you can gain some strength from the positive posts you receive today which will help you feel ok about the negative ones and find the energy to carry on.
One thing I’ve learned from FB is that you have to be pretty thick skinned and it’s not always easy. Things people say about you can hurt. We are all human – no one can be immune to hurtful comments. People brave enough to “put themselves out there” should be saluted. I salute you!
I am personally glad you are not accepting pictures of breastfeeding on FB. I believe we are – as a society – overstepping the mark with what we put on FB. I make a point of never mentioning my kids and never putting pictures of them on FB because I actually think it’s a huge breach of THEIR privacy.
Will my children thank me? Who knows, but I wonder how many would be mortified to see pics of themselves – when they are old enough to make an informed decision about whether to be on FB – being paraded on FB for all the world to see, whether breastfeeding or not. My FB page is for – well, ME!
I love babies and I am passionate about protecting and supporting breastfeeding. Do I need to see pics of it to ratify my beliefs and to be a true activist? No.
You are a Lactivist – not a Facebook activist.
Maybe when we’ve won the battle for breastfeeding we can make a start on Facebook…
Warm wishes
Julie
PS Knowing that you are right helps with the whole skin thickness thing I feel
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Do you need anymore admins? I’d be happy to help xx
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Stacey, I’d love you to help, if you could friend Lisa Lactivist on facebook I’ll be able to make you an admin. Huge thanks!
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Hi Lisa, I’ve tried searching for you but I just get no results come up x
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Maybe you can find me?
http://www.facebook.com/stacey.watson.397
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‘You’re a lactivist not a fb activist’ brilliant advice! Besides, at what point does activisim start to become anarchy??
Anyway, just a note to say im starting to miss yo guys now! Xx
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So sad it has come to this and hopefully that people can appreciate the work you are doing without criticising what you are not able to do. If you don’t blog, run pages, tweet or run a business, then you have NO clue how much hard work goes in to it all. If you need any help or support in any way on facebook or with anything else, let me know.
Kate x
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I am a real fan of breast feeding(4 kids)………….. But I really did not like doing it, it was necessary for my growing babisies. And I still detest(yes that strong a word) mothers doing it in public, the image(floppy lactating boobs being manipulated into the right place), the sounds(squelching lip smacking), ugh! Not while i’m having my nice cuppa. I have left a few cafes because of it. There, just had to get that off my chest (pardon the pun)
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