This was a question asked on the Lactivist Facebook Group – feel free to print the list out and put it somewhere people can see it 
And if you have any other ideas please leave a comment.
- Supply tea and biscuits on a constant loop
- Just support you, when it all gets too much and you’re having an i can’t do this moment make sure to tell you that you can and they’ll help you through it.
- Fetch drinks and snacks when needed and when baby finally stops feeding take him for an hour so you can have some rest! x
- Supply food, drink and morale support and taking the baby for cuddles, hugs and short walks whenever they arent attached!
- Keep reminding you it will pass, echo the drinks and snacks. Let you watch whatever you want on the tv lol
- Install a conveyor belt of realllllly good food. It can really drain you.. lots of protein and fresh fruit and veg. x
- Things like my gorgeous husband is doing while I’m feeding a hungry baby 6-7 times a day, and working very hard on the Census this week; making dinner, giving me an extra fifteen minutes sleep-in in the mornings, sending me off to bed early while he tidies up the kitchen. I’m so lucky : )
- Don’t take too much on yourself and commit to a load of things you’ll feel bad about not getting out of.
- Food and back tickles! Lol
- My hubby used to get up and talk to me through night feeds if it was all too much. It was enough to stop me from moping through increased night feeds!
- They can do: the dishes, the laundry, the cooking, the shopping
- Look after the older kids and sort them out with baths tc , make lots of drinks / food and tell you what a great job you are doing.
- Get food for mum tell her she’s wonderful and say nice things run a bath hold her close and kiss her ask if she needs anything
- Definitely bring food! I was stuck on the couch nursing all day long with the 6 week growth spurt. I didn’t get anything to eat til my husband got home from work.
- Dont suggest a bottle!
- Do the housework etc so you can concentrate on a nursing holiday in bed with babe. X
- Cook (or order takeaway), make drinks, ask if they need a break, praise, let her drive the tv remote, be nice! Don’t ask whats for dinner, complain about housework or grump in general or make any infrerence that they are not making enough milk or should supplement move over to ff or say in my day we made them wait for 3hrs etc
- I agree that growth spurts are tough re the food thing, can you not just carry baby into the kitchen while feeding to get some food? i feed in the sling too.. my partner is useless so maybe i just have to get on with it ?!
- Take care of big kids, let you stay in bed, bring food
- Partners:- take care of the older children without being asked/told, ask if you need anything, put a wash load on/ hang some out, load/unload the dishwasher and give you a hug and say you are doing fab!
Friends:- Don’t get annoyed at you for being late, visit you at home rather than out.
Family:- Offer to do the shopping, take older children to the park and don’t get annoyed if we turn down a visit as we’d rather stay in our pj’s! - Let you focus on the baby. Growth spurt will pass, then things will get back to normal
- FOOD!! I remember not eating all day for weeks after my husband went back to work because my baby fed all day long. And take the baby if they unlatch and let mama sleep (or at least rest!) if they are home then tidy up, cook, bring you water and food and generally tell mama how amazing she is for keeping your child alive!
- A great one is when I’m waking up for my second or third feed of the night – he goes and picks up the bub, brings him to me, takes him and changes his nappy and burps him and puts him back to sleep, so I just have to do the boob stuff.
- Support with non essential eg non baby feeding tasks, constant supply of food and drinks, taking baby out for a walk or similar so mum can shower and reminding what a good job your doing and it really is something to be proud of
- Don’t ever say “it’s only 24-48 hours”!!!!! Longest 2 days of my life were when my little IUGR girl decided she’d like to catch up please. She doubled her birth weight by 12 weeks and I was 7 stone
- my DD’s last one lasted 5 days, man was i tired the biggest thing that would have helped me would have been to have someone to help with my toddler during the work week so i could just lay in bed with the new baby and actually sleep through the day cause i was so often at night…DD has slept 4 hours a stretch since 2 days old and at 2 months was up to 6 hour stretches so going down to every 1-2 hours was killing me
- Feed me chocolate!
- well… pretty much everything else, thank you!
- ake care of the household chores, cook healthy snacks, support, support, support!
- they should definately make sure you eat and take older kids if possible….. and just remember to LISTEN and let us complain if we need to! Men often feel that they should be able to fix things so when you’re exhausted and complaining thats the dangerous ” i’ll give her a bottle so you can rest” moment. Dont offer to fix it just LET us complain and empathise and tell us we’re dong a great job and its worth it.
- burp the baby the second the unlatch, take the baby for a walk even if its crying, means the next feed he/she will take more and gives ur boobies a chance to rest and re-stock!! and bring endless supplies of water / squash / juice and snacks…
- Bring snacks, burp baby, take baby for any breaks in feeds so mum can nap, shower, have a wee, get Lansinoh on her boobies or whatever is needed. Change nappies so mum can do the same. Understand what’s happening, and say mum is doing a great job even if she looks like hell and isn’t very nice to be around for those few days xxx
- bring the baby to you often, and quickly!
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