I am in a terrible mood and have decided that I don’t actually want to give birth to this baby at all, having just got used to it being inside me. I am already fed up with people asking me the usual ‘whensitduedoyouknowwhatsexitis’, and I may have to kill the next person who tells me how big I am.
I think the bad mood is because for the last few days I have had period pain type cramps, not bad, but naggy and it has dawned on me that this birth thing could be very painful and messy indeed. Also, I have been determined not to get excited about it all the way through in case anything went wrong, and I still haven’t grown an ‘ahh, isn’t that baby cute’ gene.
I dreamt that I had the baby, at least its head was half out between my legs but I had guests so I had to make them a cup of tea before I could finish off the delivery, then I finished off some sewing, then as I want a water birth I ran the bath. After all this the baby came out easily and vanished, I could get on with lots of other things that needed doing. I think this sums up as I AM NOT READY YET. Practically, everything is here, basket, pram, car seat, clothes, changing mat, millions of babygrows….. but emotionally it is a different matter.
Happy hormones, where are you?
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