This week I have been reading a book called ‘Have the Birth You Want’ by Gill Thorne. The childbirth I want features heavenly choirs, jacuzzis, iced champagne, a selection of tasty nibbles and a spotless house (rather larger and more opulent than this one). To alleviate the slight discomfort I will feel I would like a doula, an acupuncturist, and a shiatsu practitioner. The midwives will be tame and compliant and will clean my house between contractions. My boyfriend will be doting and gaze at me in unashamed admiration. After the baby is born I want a flat stomach and I’ll keep this chest size thank you very much. The baby of course will be a delight to have around and will enjoy changing its own nappies by the time it is 2 months old. Anyway, back to reality, the book is very good and does not reprimand those who do not want to give birth in a field surrounded by chanting druids. It’s got lots of good advice about being assertive and staying in control of the situation as much as possible.
I went to see the midwife this week and explained that I am currently more scared of drugs and side effects that I am of pain, though as I have never done this before I am remaining open minded about drugs. I also feel really uncomfortable in hospitals – all the plugs are too high up on the walls, they smell funny and they are full of sick people. So I need this pregnancy to be nice and simple so I can have it at home, this is fine as long as my pregnancy continues to be uneventful. I also said that I wasn’t too impressed with the ante natal class I went to as it was a bit pro drug and she said that it is what people usually want.
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