This week I settled my youngest two in at Nana’s (thanks Mum!) and managed to arrive at the Sure Start Centre early enough to catch a cup of tea before we began. I can’t say I was bright-eyed & bushy-tailed though, as I had been up at 5am feeding my two & a half year old. This was the morning our ID card photos were taken and there was nothing I could do about the bags!
Unfortunately, the session began with an informal chat which left me feeling quite alienated for a few moments. Our instructor this week was chatting about a recent episode of ‘Supernanny’ which had involved the abrupt weaning of a three and a half year old breastfeeding girl and commented on how Supernanny, Jo Frost, had stated that there was no need for a child to breastfeed after the age of 3, as there is no nutritional benefit in it, and that the little girl was controlling and manipulative.
I suddenly felt quite alone in my feelings about – and experience of – breastfeeding toddlers. I have recently read the wonderful book by Norma Jane Bumgarner, ‘Mothering Your Nursing Toddler’, which is a very positive, empowering book about the mother-toddler breastfeeding relationship. The book confirmed what already felt right to me – that a mutually agreeable relationship between the breastfeeding child and mother has a myriad of benefits for both.
Although I didn’t watch Supernanny, I really wonder what is the benefit of a TV programme which encourages us to look at breastfeeding as only being beneficial in a nutritional sense and to consider children as young as 3 to be controlling and manipulative?
Unfortunately I found myself unable to express my upset on Monday (and so it has been saved for this blog!), although I do hope that breastfeeding toddlers will be discussed again at some point.
Given my lack of sleep and my initial upset, I found this week’s subject quite a challenge: Anatomy of the Breast and Hormones of Lactation. We were given lots of handouts and diagrams detailing the many parts of the breast and the ways in which both pregnancy and baby’s sucking stimulates the production of the hormones required to stimulate milk production (commonly known as ‘the Let-Down Reflex’). As we discussed these physical processes, some interesting points came up.
It is the nerves in the breast which make it sensitive and the instructor explained that, in some women, stress and anxiety can inhibit this sensitivity (which is essential to stimulate milk production). We were warned not to underestimate the power of this very real, and debilitating, difficulty that some women experience.
At the opposite end of the scale, one of our group members described having a near-constant flow of milk. Although that may appear to be a godsend to some, it made breastfeeding in public and at night especially awkward and she felt unusual for never having experienced the feeling of milk let-down.
I explained a technique, which I picked up from somewhere, of applying pressure to the breasts to stop the flow of milk when it was not required (the basis of the design of Lilypadz) – although we all thought that applying pressure might not be advisable in the first few weeks, or at anytime when engorement might develop, as it could lead to a blocked duct.
Another member of the group said that she had experienced excruciatingly painful let-downs and warned us to be aware that a mum who described the sensation as painful may in fact be suffering from the condition which she’d had – ‘deep thrush’. It took many years (and a few babies!) for her to discover the cause and find a treatment for it, as there were none of the common visible symptoms associated with thrush.
We had all had different experiences of after-pains as well. Some women had experienced none at all, one had experienced less with each baby and others, like myself, had experienced the classic increase of after-pains after each successive birth. I explained that these pains had been so strong after my 4th child that I involuntarily physically shook with them and couldn’t hold my baby. I felt thoroughly miserable about it and within days had resorted to keeping myself topped up with painkillers, which I had promised myself I would avoid. When I was pregnant with no.5, I researched some alternatives and used the homeopathic remedy Arnica (in tablet form) – one tablet half-hourly for the first 4 hours, hourly for the next 8 hours, etc. – and I was amazed to have hardly any pain at all.
It was really interesting to hear such different stories from the mums in the group – all the time reminding me that everyone is different and I couldn’t possibly predict the difficulties a mother might come to me with as a counsellor. I would really like to hear more stories from you. If you have anything you would like to share, please leave a comment.
Juno
“Any old Cow” Short Sleeved T 3-6 months 
“Any old Cow” Short Sleeved T 6-12 months 
Care Instructions – Shopping Bag 
Any Old Cow – Shopping Bag 
Mummy Milk Rocks – Shopping Bag 
I saw the Supernanny with the 3 year old breastfeeding. She did a really abrupt wean, from 10 times a day on demand to one feed at night, then the next day no mummy milk at all. The little girl seemed pretty disturbed by it on the first night – she was sleeping on her own for the first time as well but on the second night she was fine, not asking for milk anymore either. They just told her that she was a big girl and she didn’t need it any more.
I was surprised that she coped with it so well but I think in this case she was using it more as a means to get close to her mum than for nutrition. She was happy with other ways of being close to her mum and because she was not so clingy with her mum she could also bond better with her father.
Supernanny was of course wrong saying there is no nutritional benefit in breastfeeding a 3 year old, it is well documented that extended (I know some people hate that term but everyone understands it) breastfeeding can continue to help prevent all sorts of nasties from asthma to obesity and that IQ tends to be bigger in children who are breastfed for longer. See Kellymom http://www.kellymom.com/bf/bfextended/ebf-benefits.html for a full list of the benefits with references.
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and…… I have seen a human rights activist, who the year before had run the gauntlet of gun fire in Palestine to deliver food and medicines, and had driven ambulances across war torn countries, also under gun fire, brought to tears because she found it difficult to breastfeed to start with. She got some expert advice and was a happy breastfeeder for quite some time after!
Personally I found it incredibly hard, the let down was excruciating, toe curlingly so but it did not last for long. It is why I am such a lactivist now – I fought hard to breastfeed because I know it is the best thing for babies and I resented being critisised for it!
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When you say the instructor was discussing Supernanny and it upset you, do you mean the instructor was siding with Supernanny? Or was it the discussion of the programme that upset you? I’d be very unhappy too if a LLLPCP course instructor was recommending abrupt weaning no matter what the child’s age!
I really don’t like Supernanny and not just because of her stance on normal-term breastfeeding (I actually heard of one episode where she does the same thing… with a fourteen month old baby!!) but because of her “one-size-fits-all” approach to parenting. Child doesn’t do what parent wants? Naughty step / other punitive disciplining method. But why is the child acting like this? Some need not met somewhere? Some long term unhappiness? What is the reason?
Oh that’s right. She doesn’t know. She doesn’t care. Her methods “work” (i.e. the child sits down shuts up is a “good” little child). I’d be interested to see these families revisited when the children are teenagers and young adults.
http://www.alfiekohn.org/parenting/supernanny.htm
As for the abrupt weaning of a three year old! Supernanny didn’t look very deep did she? She assumed that it was so Mum could keep her distance from Dad. Hey if that *was* true… why not look into the reasons *why*? Traumatic birth and ensuing concern about sex? Mum exhausted? Other relationshiop issues? No… no let’s sweep all that under the carpet. Wean. Immediately, abruptly.
Was the toddler using nursing to control the relationship with her Mum? Maybe… but why not have a look *why*? Why not make some kind of bargain with her (“yum yums only in the morning now, hugs at other times”) and if Mum wanted to wean, do it gently?
I think Supernanny doesn’t like breastfeeding very much. But I don’t think she likes children very much either.
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Admin: I’m afraid that page from Kellymom is absolutely riddled with inaccurate, misused references. See my discussion of this at http://goodenoughmummy.typepad.com/good_enough_mum/2011/04/extended-breastfeeding.html .
I’m no particular fan of Supernanny’s methods from what little I’ve seen/heard about them. But I’m afraid the many claims Kellymom and others make for the supposed benefits of breastfeeding toddlers/older children are just not backed up by the actual evidence.
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Dr Sarah – there is a fantastic book called ‘Breastfeeding Older Children’ which is fully substantiated with links to research.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Breastfeeding-Older-Children-Ann-Sinnott/dp/1853439398
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And here is one that is about to be published – Psychologist Darcia Narvaez at University of Notre Dame launched her research results Sept/Oct 2010 and recommends a range of parenting practices, including breastfeeding for 5 years ( http://al.nd.edu/news/16831-research-shows-child-rearing-practices-of-distant-ancestors-foster-morality-compassion-in-kids/
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OK, I got the Ann Sinnott book. What she actually says about the evidence for breastfeeding older children is that there isn’t any, due to the lack of research. The only article she referenced that I hadn’t already seen was a small study into nutritonal intake of older breastfed children, which didn’t compare them to non-breastfed and therefore doesn’t tell us anything about advantages. Did I miss something?
I’m looking forward to seeing Narvaez’s research, but, given some of her recent articles in the popular online press, I’m somewhat susceptible as to how good she is at impartially analysing evidence. I’d want to see how great a benefit she found from extended breastfeeding specifically once other differences in parenting practice were allowed for. Oh, well – we won’t know that until the study’s out. Either way, doesn’t change the fact that that Kellymom page is horribly unreliable in the way it represents the available evidence.
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