http://www.maternitywomen.com/maternity-news/stop-pointing-start-doing.html
By now you’ve probably heard Gisele Bundchen’s quote from a recent magazine interview in which she said, “There should be a worldwide law, in my opinion, that mothers should breastfeed their babies for six months.” Well this, of course, caused an uproar to which she later gave an explanation of her opinion on her blog—which I feel is absolutely ridiculous. First of all, it was her opinion. Second of all, I think she’s right—no explanation necessary.
Reality star/chef/author/business woman/wife/breastfeeding mother, Bethenny Frankel responded to Gisele’s comment by saying, “That’s the most absurd thing I’ve ever heard,” then went on to say, “Breastfeeding is one of the most rewarding experiences, but it isn’t for everyone.” That’s a shame because what a great advocate she could have been, especially for those who use their careers as an excuse not to breastfeed. I would like to pose this question to Bethenny Frankel. Do you think it’s absurd to put your child in a car seat? I don’t want to be presumptuous, but I’m guessing your answer would be, “no.” Not only is it a law put in place for the safety and protection of children, it’s pretty much, as I read in one article, common sense and a maternal instinct for a mother to want to protect her child. You tell me what the difference is between a law mandating the use of a car seat and a law mandating breastfeeding.
These women who ridicule advocates of breastfeeding, accusing them of making them feel guilty, fit into one of three categories: 1) uneducated, 2) selfish, or 3) lazy. To those women who choose not to breastfeed,
I would like you to make the following statements—out loud, holding your baby, looking directly at their face:
“I CHOOSE for you to have a weaker immune system.”
“I CHOOSE for you to have a greater risk of having chronic ear infections.”
“I CHOOSE for you to have a greater risk of having asthma.”
“I CHOOSE for you to have a greater risk of having juvenile diabetes.”
“I CHOOSE for you to have a greater risk of having childhood leukemia.”
“I CHOOSE for you to have a greater risk of dying of sudden infant death syndrome.”
THEN say, “I make this choice because ________,” and fill in the blank with your excuse for not breastfeeding.
Harsh, isn’t it? Those are the facts. Hopefully, someone out there is in agreement with me. It is that serious. Do your own research. Numbers don’t lie. There is an urgent need for a movement, yet every time someone makes a statement, or breastfeeds in public, there are those of you who can’t wait to spew your negativity on those who are just doing what is right. Does this make you angry? If so, why? Does this make you feel guilty? Well, let me share something with you. NO ONE can MAKE you feel anything. Your feelings are your own.
Here’s another thing, the definition of guilt is 1) fact of having committed an offense, and 2) painful feeling that one has done wrong. If you feel guilty, then congratulations!! This means you at least know that you’ve done wrong and you’re not a heartless person without a conscience. The bad news is that you are the only one to blame, so stop pointing your finger!! That being said, there are those who argue that there is a serious breakdown in this country’s health care system (with which I strongly agree) that is to blame for the low percentage of mothers who breastfeed, therefore relieving the mothers of any personal responsibility to educate themselves (with which I strongly disagree).
I’ve seen this breakdown first hand, over and over again. I have yet to figure out why our hospitals and health care professionals are not requiring their patients to TRY breastfeeding and spending more time on education. If your ob/gyn prescribes you prenatal vitamins, you fill the prescription and you take them. If they put you on bed rest because you have a high risk pregnancy, you stay in bed. No questions asked, Dr. knows best, right? So someone explain why, if formula manufacturers themselves are printing, “breast milk is best” (as required by the International Code of Marketing of Breast-milk Substitutes), right on their labels, then why aren’t health care professionals requiring their patients to breastfeed? In our country today, only 12% of women breastfeed exclusively for the first six months. And 43% of women try and either dry up or give up.
That leaves 45% who are going straight to formula. I encourage everyone to do their own research on the medical issues, health care costs and infant mortalities that are directly connected to the lack of breastfeeding in this country. But I will share this. After the introduction of the rubber nipple in 1845, there was a dramatic increase in the use of breast milk substitutes. In 1846 there was an increase in the number of medical problems and infant mortalities directly associated with breast milk substitutes. The facts were and remain the same. Breast milk is best and formula should be used ONLY as a last resort. Our government and media are famous for using scare tactics to sway our thinking. Apparently, it’s not working in this case. Perhaps anger will work, but make sure you are channeling your anger in the right direction. Don’t get angry with me because I made you “feel guilty.”
Get angry with your employer who is unwilling to accommodate your need to do the best thing for your child. Get angry with a society who looks at breasts as sexual objects rather than what their intended purpose is. Get angry with the women who are dragging you down, making believe formula is acceptable when you know it is not. Stand up for yourself, but more importantly, stand up for your child! Everyone keeps calling for a movement, but it has not yet happened. If we can’t unite as women and do what is best for our children, then perhaps the government should intervene and require women to breastfeed for six months. Women fought for the right to vote, and won. Women fought for equality in the workplace, and won. Why in the hell can’t we fight for our children’s health and lives?? We need to unite and command respect from a society that looks upon public breastfeeding with disgust. We need to unite and demand that ALL employers give adequate maternity leave and facilitate pumping once you’ve returned.
Finally, we need to EDUCATE, EDUCATE, EDUCATE ourselves and everyone around us to change the way society views breastfeeding to give our children a healthier life.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/04/05/breastfeeding-study-on-be_n_525180.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Infant_formula http://blog.giselebundchen.com.br/en/sentido/a-importancia-da-amamentacao/
Any Old Cow – Shopping Bag 
“Any old Cow” Short Sleeved T 3-6 months 
“Any old Cow” Short Sleeved T 6-12 months 
Care Instructions – Shopping Bag 
Mummy Milk Rocks – Shopping Bag 
You forgot “I choose to increase my own risk of developing breast cancer” , “I choose to increase my risk of developing ovarian cancer” and “I choose to increase my own risk of developing diabetes”
For the rest of it, bravo!
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Seriously?
There should be a law?
My child had breast milk for several years, but in those early months, there was no support for me from anyone. Everyone told me to use formula, my baby was constantly screaming, my nipples were bleeding, my health visitor told me I was stubborn as hell for keeping going so you know what? I supplemented with some formula until I figured out how to get back to exclusive breastfeeding. Because I got no support, at all.
And you know what? I didn’t have that much of a choice. In the deep grip of postnatal depression, told that I should formula feed BY HEALTH CARE PROFESSIONALS AND MY ENTIRE FAMILY? You know what? I did.
Oh I’m sure you’re so much stronger and more perfect than me and you would have stood up to everyone. Of course.
No I don’t feel guilty, and yes, I do feel angry. But I also feel angry at lactivists who suggest that by doing what I did I should also – on top of everything else, the suicidal feelings – have been doing something illegal!! And what would you suggest should have been my punishment? Having my baby taken off me, perhaps? Because oh, yes, that would have benefited my child and me.
(Never mind that as my child got thinner and thinner, the Health Visitors were already making suggestions of “having the baby looked at” which basically meant social services, so, hey, I might have ended up, if I’d not given formula, having my baby taken off me anyway. Who knows? I’m sure if I’d had adequate support, you know, like you people who live within driving distance of your La Leche League group, and you can afford a car in the first place, like, oh, I don’t know, say, Giselle, then I could have breastfed to an extent that my small child would have put on more weight, BUT I DIDN’T, and shouldn’t be criminalised for that!!!).
In fact, I think I should have gotten an effing award for not stopping all together, actually, given how much people told me I should, given how I sobbed every single night that I had no help, that I considered killing myself. But no, no award, you’d have had me doing something illegal. Thanks a BUNCH.
What a stupid, ridiculous, ill-thought through thing to suggest. Making formula feeding a baby under six months old illegal will not at all increase breastfeeding rates. Instead you will drive women like me to suicide. AND WHAT GOOD WILL THAT DO CHILDREN? REALLY? You’d rather have orphans (or effective orphans, if their mothers are in jail, or can’t afford to eat themselves because they are heavily fined) than formula fed babies with a mother? Sort your priorities out!
Unless there is full support for breastfeeding, unless health care professionals are educated better, unless husbands and partners and mothers in law and so on are also got onto ante natal classes so they can learn how best to support a breastfeeding mother, unless breasts are no longer seen as purely sexual objects for male titillation, unless there is a culture where we do not force poor mothers back to work as soon as possible, then making formula feeding illegal is just another way to tell women what to do.
Sickening, truly.
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Here’s an idea. Instead of berating mothers who don’t breastfeed, why not support the ones who do want to breastfeed? Stop even bothering with the ones who don’t or “can’t” or whatever it is. Just concentrate on good, solid support to ensure every single mother who starts breastfeeding can do it right up until their child is ready to stop.
Initiation rates are actually quite high in the UK, over three quarters stop, that figure dwindles in the first six weeks, and then by six months, it’s something like five percent.
Let’s stop nagging mothers to breastfeed. Instead, let’s take the 75% and make it so they can continue. So they can continue, publicly, vividly, without shame, so that everyone sees them, let’s make breastfeeding visible, let’s make it so that 75% continue through to six months and beyond.
Now, there’s an idea. If we do that? Then the 25% who don’t do it will be in a minority. No one wants to be in the minority. And gradually, their attitudes will change, and eventually we’ll end up like Sweden.
Oh! By the way! Does Sweden criminalise women who don’t breastfeed? No! Here’s what they do instead of blaming the mother! They criminalise the formula companies who peddle their wares by breaking their really strict laws! They train their health care professionals to support breastfeeding! They do not, at any point, force women to breastfeed! They give huge maternity leave and full pay to women who take it! They SUPPORT MOTHERS NOT CRIMINALISE THEM!!
Hey, it’s almost like we should take the Swedish approach isn’t it! Because it works!
But that’s not as much fun as bashing mothers who formula feed is it?
And as for the car seat analogy? You know something? Even in a car seat, you CHOOSE for your child to have a high risk of having a crash, simply by driving. I don’t actually drive anywhere. I think you should be criminalised for taking a child in a car in the first place, given how dangerous it is. It’s your CHOICE. I never do it, I would never take that risk with my child, I choose the much less risky public transport.
Oh, boo hoo, you live miles away from a train station? Still, it’s your CHOICE, you could CHOOSE to live nearer, you could CHOOSE to move house…
Oh, what do you mean, you can’t? I mean, you have about as much choice to not use a car as I had a choice to exclusively breastfeed, don’t you?
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Bravo! I also believe it should be against the law to administer unnecessary medicines to a baby, ie formula where there is no medical need.
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Clearly I’m not suggesting that a mother be thrown in jail for feeding her baby formula. What I am suggesting, and I believe you reiterated, is that there needs to be more emphasis on education and support starting with our health care professionals, then the mothers, their family and friends, and society as a whole. And as Nicola stated, formula, when not medically necessary, should not be freely administered. The “law” that I’m proposing is that formula would require a prescription for the first six months of your baby’s life. If a mother is not physically able to provide adequate nourishment, then the baby could be prescribed formula–whether that be a supplementation or exclusive bottle feeding.
Thank you for saying I’m perfect. I appreciate the compliment, but here’s the truth. I did NOT breastfeed exclusively for 6 months. As a matter fact, I only was ABLE to breastfeed exclusively for 3 WEEKS. I had to supplement because I was not producing enough milk. By the time my daughter was five and a half months old, I was completely dry. I won’t waste your time with all of the complications I went through, and am still going through. We all know how hard it is and we all have a story. The point is, at least I tried. I did everything suggested to maintain and increase my milk supply to no avail. BUT, I tried, and that’s all I could ask from myself, that’s all you could ask of yourself, and THAT IS ALL I’M SUGGESTING ANY MOTHER DO–TRY!!
I fully intended to evoke emotion when I wrote this blog. People, in general, usually do not take action without being turned upside down and shaken by their ankles. This is a very serious issue that needs attention. Your comment is a perfect example of misdirected anger. Channel it in a positive direction. Go out and offer another woman the support of which you were neglected, and make a difference!!
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Bravo! You have published what I have long believed. And how predictable that the ‘poor me I’m so picked on’ brigade should choose to misinterpret your proposed law.
Shame the human rights brigade are more likely to back a mother’s right to ‘do what they want’ with their bodies than to back a child’s right to adequate nutrition which does NOT increase it’s chances of developing umpteen medical conditions in later life.
To me, if you choose to become pregnant and by definition nourish a child in the womb, that nourishment should continue after birth. Quite frankly, anything less (without GENUINE medical reason) is negligence by both the mother and the people around who do not support her.
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*applauds until hands hurt*
Everything you say is VERY true. And to other people who have responded–NO, life isn’t easy at all, postpartum depression isn’t easy, poverty isn’t easy. GET OVER IT. The solution Hilary suggests, that formula be given ONLY BY PRESCRIPTION and that education be maximised, is ideal. I’m very sorry that you had a crushingly hard time after you gave birth. Extenuating circumstances happen. But the solution that Hilary supports makes perfect sense–and if it was an actual law, you wouldn’t have suffered as much as you did.
Hilary, thank you very, very much for stating things so logically and bluntly.
For the record–I was not breastfed, because my mother was socially discouraged, and did not know at all what advantages she was denying me. She and I have suffered from that social pressure and lack of education since.
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I can see how this would be a good place to scream and shout about my personal circumstances, but I am sure you are aware that not everyone can physically breastfeed. You, yourself state that you couldn’t do it for very long, so why would you want to make people feel guilty (or more so in many cases) for not being able to? I felt terrible that I couldn’t get my first child to latch on.. and I think having it all rammed down my throat (excuse the pun) and making it far worse wouldn’t exactly relax me. I think it is up to the individual, and I don’t see how anyone else can have any say in how other people choose to feed their child. We all know the benefits, but this doesn’t make it any easier. As long as people have the information they can take it from there. Don’t demand I do something that I am unable to achieve.
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Hilary, your arrogance is astounding. I am shocked that you feel it right to publish an ‘I CHOOSE…’ list of that nature. How dare you and your cronies belittle and pass judgement on those who dont breastfeed. You maintain, and I quote “First of all, it was her opinion” that Gisele was entitled to articulate her opinion but failed to extend the same attitude to the deputy editor of M&B magazine who also exercised her right to a personal opinion. As long as a line of thought sits nicely with your views on BF then those people should not be attacked. This smacks of complete double standards. It has NOTHING to do with anyone else how a mother feeds her baby. You maintain that mothers who BF are, and I quote ” 1) uneducated, 2) selfish, or 3) lazy’. With that one line of thpought you have removed all credibility from yourself. If women feel like they have ‘failed’ becuase they cant BF their babies it is because of people like you and websites like this.
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[...] admin, on August 31st, 2010 Hilary wrote this in response to the comments that her article – Stop Pointing, Start Doing [...]
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wow!I thought I was a hard core breastfeeder.I thought the first article was bad…. I agree with every word RC says in the original article comments 18th Aug. Formula never has and never will touch my sons lips (14 months) yet I find the vitriol in both articles really really off putting. Hilary makes me want to leave the lactivist camp, I do not want to be associated with such an extreme nutcase, bitter, martyr vison of breastfeeding.Assume I am uneducated if you wish (I’m not) name call if you want (who cares?)Take your medal Hilary and move on, you do not speak for me! Well done RC you have truly climbed a mountian to achieve a return to exclusive breast feeding, you are my role model. I hope you are cherishing every minute of the wonderful relationship you have build with your child. I hope your child has inherited your spirit.
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It should also be pointed out that the vast majority of people who read articles on this website are on the extreme end of breastfeeding (I mean this is a good way and consider myself one) Therefore the responses you get will be slanted in your favour as a result. In light of this the comments which are opposed to your opinion are pretty significant.
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The fact is, you said, “there should be a law”. Now you’re retracting that, which is something, I suppose.
The “formula should be prescription only” argument has been put forward many times. I can honestly say, with the amount of ignorance I have seen from doctors regarding breastfeeding, there is no way I would trust a doctor to make that call. (Also, what really? I know a lot of very organised people who have run out of important medication because of the way the appointment/prescription/repeat/appointment cycle goes. So it’s not beyond the realms of possibility that someone would run out of formula. What should they give their baby then, at midnight? Oh, that’s right, cow milk, because that’s all that’s available. If you think how sick formula milk can make a baby, just think how sick pure cow milk will make them).
And yes, I do channel my anger into something useful, thanks very much; I support women to breastfeed, women who want to. I don’t spend my time berating the women who – for whatever reason, whether that’s misinformation regarding the difficulty of it, bullying from their partner (you have no idea, I imagine, how many women don’t breastfeed because they are in abusive relationships with partners who won’t “let” them. Then again, perhaps you’re the kind of person who thinks “it’s their own fault they should leave him it actually is that easy to do that”), whether it’s fear of breastfeeding in public – decide not to breastfeed.
I say, leave them to it, most of the time it isn’t actually “laziness” it’s lack of education, it’s messages from society, it’s all kinds of things, and those 25%, well, that’s their call and right at the moment I am much more concerned with increasing continuation rates than initiation rates.
Because honestly? I’d rather live in a world where the 75% of women who start breastfeeding are still doing it at six months, a year, six years, than live in a world where 100% of women start breastfeeding out of fear of the law, or of other women’s opinions, but 2% of them are still breastfeeding at six months.
Here’s an idea for you. Instead of channelling that anger you have at the minority of women who “don’t even try” to breastfeed (25% is about the number, in the UK at least) why not channel the anger at the kind of society that means that those 25% “don’t even try”. Why not try to change society, rather than shouting at other mothers?
Do you also wonder why those 25% are often poor, working class, mothers, often mothers of colour, young mothers, mothers who are already disadvantaged and discriminated against by society? Have you stopped to think at all that there might be a link? That perhaps the same things that disadvantage them are stopping them breastfeeding? That working against the system rather than berating them might be a better thing to do?
And, seriously, have you looked at Sweden and why they have such high initiation and continuation rates without resorting to blaming the mothers who don’t breastfeed?
But it’s so much easier to blame other women. If we start to blame the society instead, then we might actually have to do some real activism, rather than “lactivism” which these days seems much more about trying to control other women. I thought we were better than the formula companies (whose job is to, well, control women in order to make a profit) but it seems we’re trying to use the same bullying and silencing tactics as them.
Instead of blaming the “lazy” women who “don’t even try”, FGS, why not blame the formula companies who spread the message that they shouldn’t even try because it will be too hard and that their product is pretty much the same anyway?
This is why I do not call myself a “lactivist” but rather a “breastfeeding supporter”. I don’t want to be lumped in with the “prescription only” brigade or the “there should be a law” brigade. You may have less money and resources than the formula companies, but “the master’s tools will never dismantle the master’s house” as Audre Lorde said.
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