I never considered how I will feed my children, I am not sure why this was, but I just assumed that the whole point of my breasts being there was that. I have often thought hard about why I felt that way, but I still don’t know…
When people talk about the stigma of bottlefeeding, about the pressure to breastfeed I feel completely lost…
We live in a bottlefed world. Our little girls, ourselves included play with dolls that come with their bottle, if you stop people in the street and asked them to pretend to feed a baby, their gestures generally speaking will be clearly those of someone using a bottle. You probably have the same chances to have some water heated up in a restaurant as to be kicked out of it or told off for breastfeeding.
I didn’t “choose” to breastfeed, it wasn’t an intellectual option. I grab my baby and put him in the breast, later on it was a physical need as my breasts where full of milk and because when my baby cried their leaked…The stigma, well… I thought I was doing what the slogans were saying that it was good, I thought I was in the good books of society, I am easily enjoying something that seems to be politically rewarded, surely I will be protected, treated nicely, my baby and I will be praised…but I didn’t. I had to show that I knew what I was doing before leaving the hospital, then I had to fight my health visitor that week after week undermined my confidence and told me that I should give some nice formula to this baby and stop my stupid crusade that will end up with an obviously ill and poorly fed baby (the baby was never ill, and gain weight normally and steadily)
When I suffered from postnatal depression, it was suggested that I should have electric convulsion therapy because I didn’t want to take anti depressants as breastfeeding was my priority and I didn’t trust the research, when I asked for alternatives, I was being difficult and pushed towards to stop breastfeeding. I lost friendships because when I explain this issue they said I was being selfish putting the breastfeeding before my mental health.
When my first son was 10 months old I developed a mastitis while in Spain, the male obstetrician told me I was to stop breastfeeding immediately, I cried, he laughed and said that I was crazy and it was useless and pointless to breastfed at that age (WHO recommends 2 years) at that point I finally stopped I gave up in my ridiculous idea of giving to my child this milk that I couldn’t stop producing, I give up on my idea of cuddling him and feeding him with all my love despite pain, sadness and blisters, despite having the world against me.
I didn’t face any stigma, I did face some dirty looks, but it was simpler than that…nobody understood or believe in me or my breastfeeding capacity.
We promote an idea but not its reality. We repeat sentences but we do not understand them.
–
Jesusa Ricoy-Olariaga
Childbirth Educator.Doula and Mum
www.birthinglove.co.uk
www.jesusaricoy.blogspot.com
www.rompiendoaguas2.blogspot.com
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