Daily Mail Coverage of the Trafford Nurse In
This week that should be Breastfeeding Awareness Week , packed full of nationwide nurse ins and breastfeeding flashmobs organised by mums, not funded by the NHS, just mums independantly trying to do the right thing started with me feeling uplifted and happy but that mood has shifted.
Mumsnet have a depressing thread about breastfeeding flashmobs being ‘ smug’ and ‘alienating’, Lactivist has been described as ‘wacky’ (that is a first by the way) and mums attending breastfeeding events accused of having too much time on their hands.
I’ve been thinking hard about this, how is it possible to promote breastfeeding without alienating formula feeders.
When a baby is born mothers will generally go down one of these routes:
1. Choose to breastfeed exclusively because you believe that is the best for your child ( BF informed choice)
2. Choose to breastfeed exclusively because that is what people around you do (BF uninformed choice)
3. Choose to formula feed exclusively because you believe that is the best for your child (FF informed choice)
4. Choose to formula exclusively because that is what people around you do (FF uninformed choice)
5. Have to breastfeed (BF no choice)
6. Have to formula feed (FF no choice)
7. Choose to mix feed because you believe that is the best for your child (MF informed choice)
8. Choose to mix feed because that is what people around you do (MF uninformed choice)
This is what I believe.
- Many women feel they have to formula feed because they have no choice when in fact, with proper support they would be able to breastfeed. The NCT say that less than 2% of women are medically unable to breastfeed.
- Many women choose to formula feed without knowing the facts and risks associated with it.
- Many women choose to formula feed for many different and sometimes incredibly valid reasons (sexual abuse for example), knowing that they are not doing the very best for their baby and justifying it by saying that they cannot breastfeed.
I am expecting to be thoroughly slated for stating what I believe and understandably so. The truth hurts.
I worked very hard to breastfeed, it was not easy and it hurt. I got help, despite health visitors suggesting formula, topping up, just one bottle….. I stuck to it and managed for almost 2 years. I was grimly determined. I didn’t enjoy it. The fact is that breastfeeding is good for babies and formula can be bad. If I was one of the 2% that couldn’t breastfeed I would have been gutted and it would have hurt to see women breastfeeding because it would tick many of my guilty, not good enough mum boxes of which I have many.
Just as after a miscarriage women notice all the pregnant women, just as when you are trying for a baby and it’s not happening, everyone around you is pregnant, anything that you are sensitive to seems bigger and brighter than the other things around it.
I believe that breastfeeding needs promoting, I think that the majority of women who choose to formula feed are not aware that there are risks associated with it. I think when it comes to baby milk we are stuck in a strange 50′s modernist time warp where artificial is seen as preferable to natural and hospital births are more of a lumpectomy than a celebration of a new life.
So, there must be a way forward, there must be a way to promote breastfeeding without upsetting people who formula feed.
Would people still be offended if it was National Babyfeeding Week? If events were about groups of mothers gathering to feed their babies in any way they chose (or didn’t choose). Would formula mums still be offended by breastfeeding mums?
Any ideas much appreciated……..
Lisa
Mummy Milk Rocks – Shopping Bag 
“Any old Cow” Short Sleeved T 6-12 months 
Any Old Cow – Shopping Bag 
Care Instructions – Shopping Bag 
“Any old Cow” Short Sleeved T 3-6 months 
I dont think you can. I think the idea of haveing a mixed week is idealistic but not really realistic in the way that Breastfeeding mums are in the minority and,for me, this week is about making them feel in the majority…exploding about the normality of breastfeeding and dispelling some of those myths. I dont think you could achieve that in a mixed week.
I do think there are ways of talking that helps though. Like congratualtion women for how ever long they have breastfed for. Talking breastfeeding myths to pregnant mums instead of explaining (after mum cant take anymore and has given up) the issues after the event. It is THAT, that for me makes mums feel rubbish. I truelly believe that what ever way we do it will cause a stir…you just have to make sure you are makin a stir for the right reasons…but unhelpful media hype is the battlement that we face…not the majority of peaceful breastfeeding advocates.
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Suspect that many mothers simply feel threatened by those who have made different decisions to their own.
I take the line that it is not up to me how other people choose to feed their babies – though I am happy to provide information to those wishing to make an informed choice.
It saddens me when mothers want to breastfeed but are given incorrect or misleading information by other people (sometimes including healthcare professionals).
Mothers who wish to formula feed don’t have this problem, because there are clear instructions on the side of the packet. Even if the mother is not able to read/understand the instructions, the healthcare professionals are able to do so.
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No, bottlefeeders would not be offended.
I think we should have a Happy Mothers Babyfeeding Together week. There needs to be more mutual respect on both sides. After all, whatever our choice, we are doing what is best for our children.
The thing to make clear is that breastfeeders are not in the minority. There is so much information given to new mums on the benefits of breastfeeding than anything else that it’s enough to switch people off to it. There’s nothing like pressure to kick start a rebellion. I think that’s what we are seeing.
It’s also statements like bottle feeding is bad that turns people off to your course. It is not “bad”, breast feeding is preferable.
However it is not always preferable. Aside from the two-per-cent who can’t physically breastfeed there are literally hundreds who suffer so much psychologically from trying, trying and trying again it becomes detrimental to bonding between mother and child. A friend of mine actually had a breakdown over it, despite going to classes and having hours of coaching. She couldn’t get the words “breast is best” out of her brain. Another was so ill after the birth and so nutritionally drained that for her child formula was better according to doctors.
Interestingly there was an article in the Telegraph not so long ago that said that formula milk was so advanced these days in some cases it could be nutritionally superior to breast milk. Now I don’t necessarily buy that, but I’m just saying there’s an argument for both sides of the coin.
I breastfed my child because it worked well for me. If others choose not to, it’s not because they’re ill informed or naive, they have their reasons. There are many women who breastfeed and don’t shout about it, it doesn’t mean that they don’t exist.
As far as I can see, bottle fed or breast fed, we have a nation of happy and healthy children, and that is what should be celebrated.
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But we don’t have a nation of happy, HEALTHY children Louise. We have a nation with a growing obesity problem; eating disorders in children as young as 5 and 6; etc.
Breastfeeders ARE in the minority, and no amount of peer pressure or “information given to new mums” will change that – it’s support that is needed, not glossy leaflets and crappy slogans.
–
To answer the original question: I don’t think it matters what you do and how you do it, you’re going to offend someone. C’est la vie.
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I started a breastfeeder. After feeling the pain I fully understand why some women are not able to make the commitment. When I was pregnant I was very judgemental toward women that didn’t breastfeed… now I feel that each woman needs to do what makes them a better mother. If giving your child formula makes you happier and less stressed then give formula without guilt. I do think that all woman (who are able) should try breastfeeding. Since it has many benefits there is no harm in trying. My OB has recently recommended that I start to wean because it became apparent that I am too stressed about breastfeeding and switching to formula will help me be a better parent. After many sleepless nights I decided he was right and began the weaning process this week (at 8 weeks). I feel guilty enough knowing the benefits of breastfeeding… the last thing I would need is other women making me feel worse by judging my choice to stop before 6 months. I wish women were more supportive of each others differences.
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Beth, thank you for your post. I didn’t have an easy time breastfeeding either but luckily I got great support and it worked out for us.
Do you think there is there a way new mums can learn the benefits of breastfeeding without people who cannot breastfeed feel guilty?
I do think guilt comes with motherhood though and if you don’t feel bad about one thing there will be something else
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Lisa: I really don’t have an answer, and wish I did. But I wanted to ask whether you had a reference for that ’2% are medically unable to breastfeed’ figure, as I’ve been hearing conflicting information on this and trying to find what I can. It is, in the nature of it, very difficult to get accurate figures as to the number of women who are genuinely unable to breastfeed as opposed to just getting bad advice on it, but I’ve heard that it could be higher than 2%. And bear in mind that there are also other circumstances such as prematurity that can make breastfeeding impossible, or issues such as HIV or some medication that can make it not a good idea.
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That figure came from the NCT – I’ll try to hunt out the actual reference for it later, if I don’t do it please remind me – summer holidays are not good for effective working!
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Did you get a chance to find it?
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not yet no, it is on my list of things to do, I need to join the NCT then ask their library, but if you are already a member you could ask yourself.
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It’s just a shame that people don’t see all these breastfeeders as “advertising”. There isn’t enough advertising for breastfeeding but there is too much for formula.
Also, there needs to be a shift in people’s aversion to seeing a baby at the breast – until then, we will always have this problem.
Dr Sarah, as far as I am aware, prematurity does not make breastfeeding impossible. I have supported many mums with babies in special care that have expressed until babies can be put to the breast and then gone on to have a long and happy breastfeeding relationship.
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I honestly see no middle ground , as a breastfeeding support worker it has been suggested to me that we run feeding groups , rather than breastfeeding , to remove the exclusivity – but how does this possibly work ? If a mum comes in sore and being encouraged to go to the bottle by well meaning family -how is she to feel sat next to someone happily bottle feeding without a care in the world ? There are 2 camps and always will be sadly , there is no way to support both sides equally . I have seen people say things like ” I love breastfeeding , its the best thing in the world – it didnt work out for me , but guess what , our bond is amazing , my baby is so well and happy its the best thing I ever did switching to FF .Breastfeeding is absolutely in the minority – to suggest it isnt is ridiculous . There is no funding to promote breastfeeding – quite simply as there is no profit in breastfeeding . There are billions available for formula promotion , and they spend it very wisely make no mistake about that .
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Dr. Sarah – to follow up on Karen’s reply, this is of course anecdotal and my case may be unusual, but I was born via C-section at 32 weeks because my mother was dangerously pre-ecclampsic. She was so sick that she didn’t even get to see me for a week after I was born. However, she pumped colostrum and then milk for me, and was able to start breastfeeding after they took the feeding tube out (I believe it was after a month). I am amazed that she managed all that, but she did, and nursed me for about a year before I was weaned. Clearly, then, prematurity is not a definitive block to breastfeeding.
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My sister exclusively breastfed her first daughter, who was 31 weeks and in special care for at least a month.
I exclusively breastfed my first son, who was 1.7 kg (3 3/4 lbs) at birth. After I almost died from the post-natal haemorrhage.
General medical opinion tends to be “pump those little babies up with formula and don’t wait until the mother’s milk comes in.” Despite WHO recommendations. Without my sister’s support, my son would have been given lots of formula. I wonder what would have happened to my breastfeeding relationship with him?
There are genuine medical reasons some women can’t breastfeed. Prematurity of the baby is usually a very ignorant excuse that is inflicted on vulnerable mothers for convenience’s sake. Remember, milk banks have been slow to reappear due to the ease of buying formula.
On a lighter note, I lean toward the impossibility of promoting BF without alienating already defensive FF mothers. Check out
Breast Is Best
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The figure of less than 2% of mothers cannot breastfeed came from here – http://whqlibdoc.who.int/bulletin/1989/Vol67-Supp/bulletin_1989_67%28supp%29_3.pdf
Page 3, under Situations related to maternal health.
Thank you to Anne for finding it!
“In the WHO collaborative study on breastfeeding (ref 12 at end of document)it was found that out of a total of 3898 mothers studied in Nigeria and Zaire not one was unable to secrete milk……in industrialised countries the inability to lactate is closely associated with women who have little or no information about breastfeeding, have little or no experience with it’s mechanics, lack confidence about their ability to breastfeed and have no close family member, friend or other means of social support to aid them overcome problems.”
Ref 12 is “Contemporary patterns of breastfeeding” Geneva World Health Organisation 1981.
The sample of women from Nigeria and Zaire were both rich and poor.
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Thanks – I very much appreciate it!
According to that source (bit further than the bit you quoted, next column on), the figures for industrialised societies are thought to be higher – between 1 and 5%, according to work by Marianne Neifert. So, in fact, it does look as though the proportion might be higher than 2%, although we really don’t have clear figures.
With regard to the issue of premature babies and breastfeeding, I’m sorry if my phrasing was unclear: what I meant by ‘can make breastfeeding impossible’ was not that it necessarily would do so, but that it might. In at least some cases, I think it just adds the extra layer of difficulty that makes it too hard.
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Is it possible to promote breastfeeding without upsetting formula feeders?
Sure it is. But it does require the realization of the tone you use to promote your view, as well as the understanding that while you have the right to be proud that you have stuck with breastfeeding and were able to breastfeed, not everyone was able to.
Also realize that while you may be in the minority, it is in the same way that the rich are in the minority: yes, you may be in the minority, but it is a minority that is generally looked upon as favorable (although the jerks in both the breastfeeding circles and the rich get the most screen time, I will acknowledge that). Even on cans of formula, you see them put on there that breast is best, and the formula try to promote their products as being “almost as good as breast milk” where as before, they insisted that formula was better.
I think if you want to promote breast feeding try being kinder (the general you, not you personally). I have friends who are smokers. I could recite all the statistics for smoking, tell them what a disgusting habit smoking is, how can they do that, how I am asthmatic and it hurts for them to smoke around me, and refuse to be around them, tell them the inspiring story about my quitting smoking cold turkey…or I could offer them assistance, maybe get stuff to wean them off of smoking like e-cigs and the patch, give them a number of a doctor to talk to, leave information for them about quitting smoking, and then leave them be. Both approaches can be used, but one is more likely not going to make you look like a jerk.
And please do not insist that formula is as bad as smoking. It’s not. And it is not like fast food either. If you want to compare formula to anything, it is like commercially grown food as opposed to organically grown food. Breast milk is the organically grown food in this case.
BTW, after a couple of days of formula AND breast milk, I have been using breast milk exclusively, although I have used the bottle to feed her (pumping it into the bottles and feeding my child the bottles of breast milk. I have a ‘big breast tiny baby issue).
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