Created specifically to meet a woman’s childbirth needs, the simple, modern birthing shirt from the Birthing Shirt Company is made of the eco-friendly fabric bamboo jersey. It is stretchy, supersoft, breathable and durable.
The Bamboo Birthing Shirt is extremely versatile and has been designed so it can be worn in the later stages of your pregnancy, during childbirth and afterwards when breastfeeding and bonding with your baby.
Berry Red is new for Christmas 2011 and if you buy 2 Birthing Shirts you can save £12 with the current special offer.
If you send the School of Babywearing™ a Christmas and babywearing themed colouring page design before the end of December 2011 you will get £25 off one of their courses. If you need some ideas check out their sling colouring pages!
If you are Mum or Dad and wear your own child and find you get stopped in the street by people asking you about babywearing or you work with parents, perhaps as a Baby Massage or Yoga teacher; an Antenatal Teacher, Breastfeeding Counsellor, Postnatal Leader, Doula or Midwife a babywearing course would help you help others. Courses run in various locations through the UK and you can choose between the Babywearing Peer Supporter and Babywearing Consultancy course.
The Peer Supporter courses run once a month in 2012: Cambridge in January, Cardiff in Feb, Exeter & Peterborough in March, Brighton in April, Manchester in May.
All you have to do to get this generous discount is send a your colouring page design by email to victoria@schoolofbabywearing.com or by post to School of Babywearing, 16 Pelham Way, Cottenham, Cambridge, CB24 8TQ
Nursing tea or breastfeeding tea has been used by breastfeeding mothers for hundreds of years to help nurture and support them during this important stage.
Neuner’s Breastfeeding Tea is a traditional herbal tea made from organic ingredients, including fenugreek seeds and fennel.
Currently it is on special offer at the Natural Nursery – £3.95 instead of £4.95 and you can get a further 10% off anything you order from www.naturalnursery.co.uk by using the code ‘friend’ at the checkout.
Thanksgiving is Thursday 24th November 2011, and it is something that the folks at BoobieMilk celebrate as Karen’s husband is US born. Karen is going to do a special 2 day sale for Thanksgiving and Black Friday which is the day after, 15% off everything using code TURKEY15. After that the code LACTIVIST10 will get you 10% off your purchase.
Also, if you sign up to receive the BoobieMilk Newsletter before 31/12/11 you will be entered into a draw to win a £25 gift certificate for BoobieMilk
They come in pale, medium and dark colours, sizes to fit from newborn to 4 years, are suitable for vegans and made in the UK.
Hats are packaged with Lactivist flyers and then wrapped in purple tissue paper but if you want very posh wrapping in silver or gold with luxury ribbon that is no problem, and it can be sent directly to the person getting the present! I’ll even hand write a Lactivist postcard to send with it.
(quote xmas12 for a 10% discount on your order until 25th Dec 2011)
If you send the School of Babywearing™ a Christmas and babywearing themed colouring page design before the end of December 2011 you will get £25 off one of their courses. If you need some ideas check out their sling colouring pages!
If you are Mum or Dad and wear your own child and find you get stopped in the street by people asking you about babywearing or you work with parents, perhaps as a Baby Massage or Yoga teacher; an Antenatal Teacher, Breastfeeding Counsellor, Postnatal Leader, Doula or Midwife a babywearing course would help you help others. Courses run in various locations through the UK and you can choose between the Babywearing Peer Supporter and Babywearing Consultancy course.
The Peer Supporter courses run once a month in 2012: Cambridge in January, Cardiff in Feb, Exeter & Peterborough in March, Brighton in April, Manchester in May.
All you have to do to get this generous discount is send a your colouring page design by email to victoria@schoolofbabywearing.com or by post to School of Babywearing, 16 Pelham Way, Cottenham, Cambridge, CB24 8TQ
On the third day of breastfeeding Christmas my true love gave to me…
Nursing tea or breastfeeding tea has been used by breastfeeding mothers for hundreds of years to help nurture and support them during this important stage.
Neuner’s Breastfeeding Tea is a traditional herbal tea made from organic ingredients, including fenugreek seeds and fennel.
Currently it is on special offer at the Natural Nursery – £3.95 instead of £4.95 and you can get a further 10% off anything you order from www.naturalnursery.co.uk by using the code ‘friend’ at the checkout.
On the second day of breastfeeding Christmas my true love gave to me…
Thanksgiving is Thursday 24th November 2011, and it is something that the folks at BoobieMilk celebrate as Karen’s husband is US born. Karen is going to do a special 2 day sale for Thanksgiving and Black Friday which is the day after, 15% off everything using code TURKEY15. After that the code LACTIVIST10 will get you 10% off your purchase.
Also, if you sign up to receive the BoobieMilk Newsletter before 31/12/11 you will be entered into a draw to win a £25 gift certificate for BoobieMilk
On the first day of Breastfeeding Christmas my true love gave to me…..
They come in pale, medium and dark colours, sizes to fit from newborn to 4 years, are suitable for vegans and made in the UK.
Hats are packaged with Lactivist flyers and then wrapped in purple tissue paper but if you want very posh wrapping in silver or gold with luxury ribbon that is no problem, and it can be sent directly to the person getting the present! I’ll even hand write a Lactivist postcard to send with it.
(quote xmas12 for a 10% discount on your order until 25th Dec 2011)
Nursing tea or breastfeeding tea has been used by breastfeeding mothers for hundreds of years to help nurture and support them during this important stage.
Neuner’s Breastfeeding Tea is a traditional herbal tea made from organic ingredients, including fenugreek seeds and fennel.
Currently it is on special offer at the Natural Nursery – £3.95 instead of £4.95 and you can get a further 10% off anything you order from www.naturalnursery.co.uk by using the code ‘friend’ at the checkout.
On the second day of breastfeeding Christmas my true love gave to me…
Thanksgiving is Thursday 24th November 2011, and it is something that the folks at BoobieMilk celebrate as Karen’s husband is US born. Karen is going to do a special 2 day sale for Thanksgiving and Black Friday which is the day after, 15% off everything using code TURKEY15. After that the code LACTIVIST10 will get you 10% off your purchase.
Also, if you sign up to receive the BoobieMilk Newsletter before 31/12/11 you will be entered into a draw to win a £25 gift certificate for BoobieMilk
On the first day of Breastfeeding Christmas my true love gave to me…..
They come in pale, medium and dark colours, sizes to fit from newborn to 4 years, are suitable for vegans and made in the UK.
Hats are packaged with Lactivist flyers and then wrapped in purple tissue paper but if you want very posh wrapping in silver or gold with luxury ribbon that is no problem, and it can be sent directly to the person getting the present! I’ll even hand write a Lactivist postcard to send with it.
(quote xmas12 for a 10% discount on your order until 25th Dec 2011)
Thanksgiving is Thursday 24th November 2011, and it is something that the folks at BoobieMilk celebrate as Karen’s husband is US born. Karen is going to do a special 2 day sale for Thanksgiving and Black Friday which is the day after, 15% off everything using code TURKEY15. After that the code LACTIVIST10 will get you 10% off your purchase.
Also, if you sign up to receive the BoobieMilk Newsletter before 31/12/11 you will be entered into a draw to win a £25 gift certificate for BoobieMilk
On the first day of Breastfeeding Christmas my true love gave to me…..
They come in pale, medium and dark colours, sizes to fit from newborn to 4 years, are suitable for vegans and made in the UK.
Hats are packaged with Lactivist flyers and then wrapped in purple tissue paper but if you want very posh wrapping in silver or gold with luxury ribbon that is no problem, and it can be sent directly to the person getting the present! I’ll even hand write a Lactivist postcard to send with it.
(quote xmas12 for a 10% discount on your order until 25th Dec 2011)
This Hotmilk Harmony In Chaos Nightie is possibly the most glamorous thing I have ever seen for breastfeeding mums and I”ve just noticed that Born have a sale on HOTmilk nightwear and it’s reduced by £12!
HOTmilk bras and nightwear are very supportive and perfect for when breastfeeding has been established, so after the yo-yoing in size you get when you are first breastfeeding.
They have drop down cups and under bust elastic, so they are comfortable as well as practical. I love the colour too!
Go on, treat yourself! Or better still get someone else to treat you
This is such a clever idea! If you have ever trawled the shops trying to find something that looks good, keeps you decent and warm whilst breastfeeding and doesn’t cost a fortune you are bound to love this site!
MilkChic is the brainchild of Mel, who is a mum of one very happy, still breastfed in the evenings, 15 month old girl and a also stepmum to 2 great kids aged 10 and 17.
MilkChic is a shopping directory for nursing mothers, highlighting chic, affordable clothing in UK high street stores which works for breastfeeding.
It is a website born of frustration – there is so much lovely maternity wear on the high street but nothing for breastfeeding, and all the nursing clothes Mel found online either cost a fortune or just looked ugly.
It took Mel 6 months to figure out which clothes worked for her and longer to find clothes that looked good as well as functioned. Many mums have already given up feeding at this point and she feels that practicalities like discreet clothing have a big impact on how long mothers choose to breastfeed for. Choosing to breastfeed shouldn’t mean that you can’t wear clothes that make you feel good – MilkChic thinks breastfeeding mummys are yummy mummys!
MilkChic features videos of discreet feeding techniques for mums who are worried about feeding in public, instructions to customise your own nursing vests and a breastfeeding fashion blog.
Current retailers featured are: Agent Provocateur, Amazon, ASOS, BHS, Boden, Dorothy Perkins, George@Asda, Laura Ashley, Marks & Spencer, Miss Selfridge, New Look, Peacocks, Phase Eight, TopShop and Wallis, with more being added all the time.
Charlotte Keating ENGLAND was originally founded in 2001 as a high end womenswear clothing company and couture bridal wear. In 2008, Charlotte gave birth to her daughter Béa and during her 14 months breastfeeding, she designed and launched a new mother and baby range specialising in feminine, flattering nursing clothes for breastfeeding with confidence, discretion and style. Designs double up as fabulous maternity wear which fit & flatter through to full term pregnancy. Born from personal experience, the brand now includes a complementary selection of mummy essentials, baby, toddler and nursery décor range.
Our ethos is to make life easier for new mums breastfeeding with a functional and stylish range that supports new mum’s current lifestyle preferences of breastfeeding in public places without the need for compromise or concealment. We continually strive to raise awareness of the benefits of nursingwear and it’s importance in the successful promotion of breastfeeding in accordance with this ideal.
Feminine, flattering nursing clothes for breastfeeding with confidence, discretion and style. Designs double up as fabulous maternity wear which fit & flatter through to full term pregnancy.
Born from personal experience, the brand now includes a complementary selection of mummy essentials, baby, toddler and nursery décor range.
Gone are the days of plain boring nursing bras! Just because as a new mum you want comfort and convenience doesn’t mean that you can’t have pretty and even sexy!
Natural Nursery has selected for you nursing bras that will take you from pregnancy through the first few months of breastfeeding right up to weaning your baby. These nursing bras are well made, durable and will last well through years of breastfeeding.
These are a few criteria to consider when looking for a nursing bra:
Stretchy so that it can adapt to the breasts’ changing size.
Providing optimum breast support.
Only cotton fabric should be in contact with the skin.
Seamless to avoid irritating your skin.
Comfortable to wear at night should you wish to.
Easy to fasten and unfasten.
Can be washed easily.
Durable so you only need to buy a few to take you through years of breastfeeding.
And pretty doesn’t hurt too…
At Natural Nursery, you will find:
The Bravado Original Nursing Bra: a favourite with breastfeeding mums for years. Giving optimum breast support, comfortable to wear at night and easy access to the breast.
The Seamless Bravado Nursing Bra is the perfect nursing bra to wear under a T shirt. No one will ever know that it is anything but a very discreet bra. The removable foam cups that can be used to hide enlarged nipples or breast pads if needed.
The Sublime Nursing Bra: the name says it all. The Sublime is comfortable, convenient and pretty. This breastfeeding bra is made from soft, delicate lace in a beautifully feminine design to make you feel truly radiant. The cups are lined with cotton for even more comfort.
Natural Nursery are running a fabulous competition. Take a look now!
Help other mums breastfeed their babies and win a £100 gift voucher! We all take comfort in support from mums around us and knowing that other women have been there before us can make a big difference. Tell us your breastfeeding story and share it with other mums. If you can, send us a photo as well.
We look forward to sharing your experiences. Whether you found it easy or struggled, whether you stayed at home or went back to work and continued breastfeeding, whether you had support from your partner, travelled a lot, had older children to keep happy, breastfed your toddler… Share your stories.
Your breastfeeding stories will be published on our new website Breastfeeding Naturally. Breastfeeding Naturally will launch in a few weeks, bringing mums in the UK everything they need to breastfeed their babies successfully.
Mama Feelsgood is a young, funky, fresh brand of breastfeeding & maternity T-shirts sold solely on-line from www.mamafeelsgood.com . Bringing something different to the breastfeeding clothing market our shirts offer funky designs without failing on the functionality.
Our shirts are something you would want to wear even if you weren’t pregnant or breastfeeding !
We are building our brand without comprising, so all the shirts are made from good quality materials, and we also love a lot of interaction with our customers as to what you really want from a breastfeeding shirt (although hey sorry ladies we can’t make you look 10lbs lighter!) so check out our blog on our site or pop onto our website where we have a “live chat” option.
Liz Jeans
This week’s subject was: ‘Examining Our Attitudes Towards Other People’ – the last module of the course. This was a very interactive session, involving us all in several activities which provoked further discussion.
Firstly, we looked at how we label ourselves and how we might label others – according to the various social groups people appear to belong to. So we made a list, including age, gender, race – of course – but also: habits, behaviour, politics, health, occupation and several more.
We then looked in more detail at the assumptions and stereotypes we might make about individuals, on the basis of these group labels.
Looking at how we label ourselves, it becomes quite obvious that we find it more comfortable to interact and communicate with those that we identify with. It is easier to be open in these circumstances.
When faced with unknown cultural traits, communication is much more of a challenge. We feel less comfortable with the situation and it is even more important that we recognise the need to be non-judgmental and open-minded. This became even more apparent to me in the next exercise, when we role-played the interaction of two culturally different people.
I played an individual for whom it is: impolite to look people in the eye, discuss personal things and sit near someone, or touch them, unless I am married to them; and, for me, nodding expresses everything.
My partner was to be as friendly and open as possible, trying to establish common experiences and to make me feel comfortable.
Throughout the exercise, I found it extremely difficult to find anything to say. I could also feel that my partner wanted me to look at her and I felt quite uncomfortable about denying her that. In fact, I felt so uneasy about it, that it was still affecting me later on in the day.
As I reflected on this session on the way home, it really began to make sense to me. I thought about any scenarios which might leave me finding it difficult to communicate. I realised that if I was met with some quite judgmental attitudes – perhaps a mother who felt very negatively towards a midwife that I know, or perhaps a mother with racist attitudes – then I might find it very difficult to overcome that. My reaction to that, even though it might remain unspoken, might hinder any further communication – because I could be thinking about that, and all that implies, instead of really listening to the mother.
When those thoughts occurred to me, I think I realised what the session was really about.
So how do we overcome cultural differences and avoid feeling uncomfortable or being judgmental ourselves?
We were given lots of pointers towards this and it all seems to come back to ‘being present’. By ‘being present’ I mean being open to the unfolding dialogue, without holding on to any preconceived ideas and without trying to predetermine the outcome.
In practising that open attitude, we will find it easier to learn about individual and cultural differences in a positive way.
Part of that is also letting go of our personal need to establish our own identity – feeling that we must express who we are when we are speaking to someone. One of the pointers described this really well – ‘Refuse to get offended – don’t take it personally’. Of course, that is easier said than done sometimes, but there is no real purpose to being defensive when trying to counsel and support someone else.
We also discussed ways of learning more about different cultures and, in particular, religious attitudes to babycare and breastfeeding. I feel fairly ignorant on this subject, so I wondered if there is a book out there? Surely there must be, somewhere!
It was reassuring to be advised by our instructor that we could ask the mother about her customs if we are not sure what they are and to acknowledge our ignorance and/or discomfort in certain situations.
It was also very useful to discuss the process of reflecting on any negative experiences we may have. This process is very important, to ensure that we don’t carry those negative feelings with us when we encounter similar groups of people. The process goes through an analysis of what happened, to ideas for doing things differently in the future.
I found this session really interesting and I have thought about it a lot since. There has been a lot in this training that has had a positive impact on the way I think about and communicate with people generally and I have really enjoyed that.
This was the last training session of the course. Next week’s session is a review (which I am unable to attend) and then we have a graduation ceremony – with the mayor and the local paper in attendance! So I’ll be trying to get a good night’s sleep before that session then!
If you are interested in training to be a Breastfeeding Supporter yourself, then it is worth asking your local midwife or health visitor if there are any courses in your area. Alternatively, you could contact La Leche League on 0845 4561844.
Wow! It’s hard to believe that we are already at week 10. It’s almost the last week, as week 12 is a review session – and I am unable to make it to that one. After that, we have a graduation!
This week’s session was a bit odd. There was a lot of material that the instructor was expected to cover, but much of it we have already covered. One aspect for discussion today was, ‘making breastfeeding work in everyday life’, which was actually the title of week 8.
However, we did have another lively and informative discussion and I am finding myself more confident about asking our instructors for more detailed information. It’s as though I have a small foundation of knowledge and experience, now that it has been organised and digested, and I am ready to build upon that.
This week’s session was titled ‘Breastfeeding in Different Situations’, so we were looking at some of the circumstances that can arise unexpectedly and others that it may be possible to prepare for.
Firstly, our instructor emphasised the importance of new mums finding out as much as they can about breastfeeding antenally and seeing a mother breastfeed if possible. It is also important that new mums are aware of the choices and support available to them in those first few days of their baby’s life. This requires good antenatal care, perhaps with classes in breastfeeding. Our Sure Start centre now offers specific breastfeeding information sessions for antenatal parents, because the 4 antenatal classes just don’t give enough time to devote to breastfeeding.
Armed with this knowledge, mums are better able to understand how breastfeeding their newborn might work, but of course not everything can be planned for.
A few of the unexpected scenarios we discussed were:
Separation of mother & baby and the importance of breast pumps, rest and fluids for mum;
Jaundice in the newborn and the knowledge that breastmilk is superior to formula for treating jaundice, despite the perception of hospital staff;
Illness in the mother and the necessity to keep mum & baby together as much as possible;
Cleft lip and/or palate and Down’s syndrome and learning to breastfeed. These conditions present quite a challenge to breastfeeding, though, as always, breastmilk is superior to formula for feeding babies. Down’s syndrome babies are often able to breastfeed successfully and mums can look for the usual indicators to assess the progression of breastfeeding (changes in stools over the first week, weight gain, wet nappies, content baby).
Cleft lip and/or palate can cause serious difficulties for any method of feeding and cleft palate may make breastfeeding directly impossible. However, expressing is the very best a mum can do for her baby in these circumstances and mums should be given the facilities and encouragement necessary to express in hospital.
It is common now for mums to be aware of cleft lip and/or palate from their ultrasound scan and by the time baby is born, mum will already have received the date for the baby’s first operation. This gives the mum the opportunity to plan a little.
If expression and feeding by bottle, syringe or cup is initiated at birth, it may still be possible to begin breastfeeding directly later on – after surgery. Our instructor mentioned how it is still important for these babies’ mums to know that skin-to-skin contact benefits their baby and that they can offer their breast for comfort, even if they are not actually breastfeeding. I thought that was a great idea, though something I would never have thought of!
Here is another great cultural obstacle in breastfeeding – parenting even – I think. It would seem strange, maybe unacceptable, to offer our breast to our non-breastfeeding baby to comfort them, but why should it? Why is that any different to offering our little finger to suckle on, or to cuddling?
It was interesting to discuss some of the situations that are new to me, but I think what I really got from this week’s session was the need to empower us all.
Many of us will have experienced being told by a doctor, or other health professional, that we must do a particular thing, without being told the most important thing of all – that we have a choice.
My partner and I certainly went through this when our eldest was born. We felt pushed into allowing procedures to be carried out that we weren’t comfortable with and we didn’t think were necessary.
However, four years ago, our second son was seriously ill with meningitis. We were fortunate to have a patient paediatric consultant who wanted to inform us at every step – nevertheless, he had procedures which he felt were necessary. My partner & I found confidence and support in each other and we asked questions frequently and held up procedures when we were not convinced, or when we saw that our son was distressed. Our consultant was very surprised by our attitude, but also very supportive.
The end result was that our son probably went through as many procedures as he would have anyway, but we understood why each one was being performed and when we took our son home, we knew that we had done the best for him.
I would like everyone to be aware of their choices – and to be aware that most decisions don’t need to be made instantly. Feeling part of the decision making process has helped us to overcome the trauma of what happened to our son, leaving us without feelings of guilt.
Thanks to all of you who voted and supported ‘Daisy’
‘Daisy’ just missed out this time by (I think) 14 votes! However, I still plan to submit the book into Januarys Voting Cycle and keep searching for other publishing options. This was always the original plan anyway.
I have received some excellent feedback from WEbook relating to improving ’Daisys’ chances, so its full steam ahead from here. Here is what Melissa at WEbook suggests we do:
“I know you put a tremendous amount of work into “Daisy” and I hope you don’t give up. You’ve collected a lot of women’s stories, but you may want to do some research into anthology organization and editing, and explore different ways of organizing and supplementing your material. A collection of stories with no over-arching theme other than their common subject matter may not be enough. Also, the individual essays in the collection need quite a bit of editing — while I appreciate that your contributors are not, for the most part, professional writers, some effort must be made to bring their essays up to a more professional standard before the book has a good shot at publication.”
If you have submitted a story can we all please work to this advice. I will concentrate on researching anthology organisation. If you haven’t shared a story then please keep having a look to give us your much appreciated feedback. New stories are coming in already!
Any problems please email me lyndseyemmapage@hotmail.com or find me on facebook under ‘Lyndsey Bradley/JustCallMeDaisy.
This week’s session was about ‘Understanding Baby Needs from Infancy to Toddlerhood’ and it was reassuring to realise that we were all aware of almost all the information that we discussed – particularly regarding new babies.
However, there were a couple of points raised that I found especially interesting and I would like to learn more about.
Firstly, the subject of weaning onto solids. Having had five children over a nine year period, I can vouch for the fact that recommendations on weaning have changed dramatically! With my eldest, I wanted to exclusively breastfeed for as long as possible, but I found an overwhelming amount of advice to begin solids, to help my baby sleep better. The earliest recommended time for weaning then was 14 weeks and so that is what I did. Well, my boy loved food, but he didn’t sleep any better! You’d think that I would have learned from that experience, but I ended up following the same advice not once, but twice, more – with no.s 2 and 3! With my third, I had already heard that WHO were advising six months exclusive breastfeeding and I was crushed when the GP advised weaning at 4 months to help his reflux (as well as his sleeping, which it didn’t).
With no.4 I dug in my heels. Despite poor weight gain and reflux which put no.3 in the shade, I breastfed exclusively for six months – and I did the same with no.5.
So I was really pleased to find that the current Health Authority advice is a definite trend towards ‘baby-led weaning’. That sounds more natural to me, although I hardly know what it means. Wait til six months, offer finger foods (if baby will take them)…. This is all so different from the advice in baby books 11 yrs ago! Can anyone out there tell me anymore?
I had a bit of a Eureka! moment when I was thinking about this the other day. When I began this course, I didn’t think that I had had any particular difficulties breastfeeding. However, I have come to a realisation. It’s been a long time since I felt the need to ask advice about parenting – mainly because I have found I can quietly discover things within a book, without having to consider refusing the advice of the person I have asked, if I didn’t like the sound of it. Thinking back to that time when my eldest was not sleeping well and I was looking for a solution, I was met with the advice to begin solids from both health professionals and relatives and, although I wasn’t happy about it, I followed that advice (and actually felt more disappointed when it failed). It only just occurred to me this week that that advice is the same as saying that my breastmilk was not enough for my 3 month old baby and that if I had stopped to think about how capable my body would be at providing milk for twins, I would have seen how ridiculous that was. I never really saw that as a breastfeeding difficulty, but of course it was. In fact, the difficulties with sleep and my eldest became such a problem for me that I embarked on sleep-training when he was 5 months old. He slept through the night within 3 days and I was incredibly relieved, but that, combined with his early weaning and love of food, led us down the path of reducing my supply. I wasn’t aware of it at the time, but when I fell pregnant when no.1 was eight months, he no longer showed any interest in breastfeeding – although I would have happily continued through my pregnancy.
The other discussion I found fascinating was about ‘nursing-strikes’. I have read a little about this. On occasions a baby may refuse to breastfeed – and this may continue for up to four days! This is obviously very distressing for the baby’s parents and we were given some advice on how to support a mother through a nursing strike:
We must reassure mum that it will pass;
Bottles and dummies should not be offered (in fact, nipple confusion can be the cause of a nursing strike);
Mum should express, to keep up her supply;
It is important that mum rebuilds her baby’s trust with calm, peace & quiet, skin-to-skin contact and avoiding separation from her baby, if at all possible.
There may be other ways to get the baby interested in feeding again, for example: attempting a feed when baby is very sleepy, trying different positions and walking with or rocking the baby.
There are many things that can cause a nursing strike. For example: fright, illness, teething, distractions/interruptions, long separation from mum, a change in routines and arguments or disruptions in the house.
Have you experienced a nursing strike? Did you manage to overcome it? Please write a comment if you can.
Finally, we talked about instances where we had met a new mum experiencing difficulties and had not found a way to help (or, had been that new mum and had not been able to get help from other experienced mums).
I fall into the first category, as I found it extremely difficult to pinpoint the problem when my relative was having difficulties breastfeeding – and my frustration was compounded by the huge changes that would occur in just 24hrs. 24hrs is such a long time in the life of a newborn and his mum, but a mere blink of an eye to the rest of us!
Our instructor reassured us by saying that for breastfeeding difficulties involving newborns, it is vital to spend lots of time with the mother. Only by doing this will we develop a full awareness of the difficulties the mother and the baby are experiencing.
I am sure I must be more prepared for my role of supporting breastfeeding than when I began this course, but I still worry that I might be met with that situation again – where I don’t know what I can offer to help. At least I am aware now of the team of people who can be called upon to help alongside myself.
We’re two thirds of the way through the course now and I am a little clearer on what will be expected of me in my role as Breastfeeding Peer Counsellor.
Last week I attended a one day training workshop in ‘Foundation Skills for Helpline Workers’, with the Telephone Helpline Association (THA), for a role that I have taken up with another organisation. It was a fascinating day, but I was surprised at the great difference between my helpline role and my Breastfeeding Peer Counsellor role, which became apparent throughout the day.
The biggest difference is that it is not considered good practice to talk about yourself in the helpline world – and this is something I can very much understand. In a role-play exercise where I did exactly that, it became obvious to me that my focus had shifted from the caller’s story to my own. My mind was thinking of responses before the caller had finished speaking. I was no longer listening.
The expectations of Breastfeeding Counsellors are quite different. Research consistently says that the best people to support mums in breastfeeding are other mums – women who have experience of breastfeeding, who have developed confidence and have ‘mother wisdom’ (in the words of La Leche League) to share and reassurance to give.
We are actively encouraged to share tips and stories, in support of keeping mums breastfeeding – and there the line is drawn in a slightly different place to the helpline worker. In my role as peer counsellor, I need to develop the skills to offer my experience as information where necessary, but to hold back from being pushy, emotional or overloading the mum with too much information. This support is reassurance, sharing, kindness – without persuasion.
This difference of skills is reflected in the title on my ID card:- Breastfeeding Supporter. Not Counsellor, not Peer Counsellor even, because the role isn’t exactly counselling.
And this week’s session was a discussion of the information we have to share (our ‘mother wisdom’!) on ‘Getting Ready for Baby and Ideas to Make Breastfeeding Work in Day-to-Day Living’. It was fun to discuss our stories and I would also love to read yours – so please add a comment if you can think of any really useful tips.
Our instructor encouraged us to become familiar with the latest practices in birth-care and in the latest items available for babies and mums in the shops.
She also passed around some fabulous teaching aids, some of which you may have come across:
-Knitted breasts;
Now I have a couple of these, bought from Lisa at Lactivist.co.uk, but we were also advised to obtain a puppet (or a pattern for knitting one perhaps?) of a baby, whose mouth will open wide – like a sock puppet. I have searched around, but I can’t find one. If anyone knows of any that are suitable, please let me know.
-Marbles, illustrating babies’ tummy sizes;
These are fantastic! Very simple, but they illustrate perfectly the size of a baby’s tummy at four ages between birth and 10 days. They were free from the Medela website, but that was some time ago and they may not be available anymore. I want some!
-Breastfeeding dolls and breasts;
I wasn’t so keen on these. The breast was quite good – and it was possible to feel a lump and show how to massage it – but the doll was quite rigid. I didn’t think it would be that useful to show different positions.
We then went off into groups to discuss our practical tips for making those first few days of breastfeeding as easy as possible – and there were many! It made me realise how much easier it is when you’ve done it before and so how useful it could be to a new mum to know some of what might help.
I think my favourite (which I’d never heard before) is to stay in your pyjamas, because it sends a message to older children and visitors that you’re not available for household chores, making cups of tea, etc. – that your focus is on your baby. I suppose it might prompt a visitor to offer to hold the baby whilst you have a shower, but then I guess you could accept and then put on a fresh pair of PJs!
Firstly let me say a huge thank you to everyone who has supported and/or shared your stories with ‘Just Call Me Daisy: A Breastfeeding Mothers Story’
The book is now complete and has been entered into the voting cycle on WEbook. In order to be published ‘Just Call Me Daisy’ needs to finish in the top 10% on the 18 November to be in with a chance. So if you would like to see this project on the shelves supporting many breastfeeding mums world wide, then please cast your vote now:
http://www.webook.com/vote and choose ‘Parenting and Families’ from the ‘Select a Genre’ drop down menu.
There are many other projects up for voting too so why not have a look. In order to vote you need to join WEbook by providing an email address but it is really easy.
Again I am so grateful and overwhelmed by the fantastic response ‘Just Call Me Daisy’ has received but have enjoyed every minute bringing the project to life. So lets get voting, ‘shout out’ about breastfeeding mums and share our motivation and encouragement.
‘Just Call Me Daisy: A Breastfeeding Mothers Story’ is progessing wonderfully and we now have the option to submit the book for publication into the WEbook Voting Cycle. The deadline is 3 November 2008.
However, in order to do so we only need 10 more quality submissions averaging 1100 words each and the book will be ready. ‘Just Call Me Daisy’ is accepting both stories and poems to give you the chance to share your breastfeeding adventure.
It would be fantastic to submit the book now as so much had been acheived in a short time. If, however, we are unsuccessful and the book isn’t chosen for publication this time, all is not lost. We can use all the judging feedback to improve the book, ready for January submission as originally planned.
It’s an opportunity not to missed!
So if you do have a breastfeeding tale to share and would like to see it in print, then please contribute your story or poem now. You will be part of a project which will provide a truly motivational and inspiring breastfeeding book supporting mums worldwide.
The topic for discussion this week was ‘Basic Breastfeeding Management’, which I imagined to be full of the core elements of the peer counsellor’s ‘tool-box’, I guess – and I suppose it was, but I was surprised at how much of this ground we have already covered. Nevertheless, we did, as always, have some interesting discussions along the way.
So we talked through a variety of factors important to establishing a confident breastfeeding relationship between mother and baby.
Many of us have experienced circumstances with our own babies that help us to understand how frustrating it can be for a new mum who feels things aren’t going well. It’s great that we can use that awareness to help new mums identify what the difficulty is and, most importantly, offer some solutions so that breastfeeding can continue.
We have been told how important early skin-to-skin contact is in establishing breastfeeding and our instructor said that she believes most mothers are given the opportunity of that experience now.
I was thinking about that myself recently, as the first two of my babies had a remarkably different start to the other three, even though they were all born at home.
My eldest was born after a ‘textbook labour’ – a big, healthy baby. I held him, skin-to-skin, for a couple of minutes, during which time it became apparent to the midwives that he was slipping away. He was then taken from me to be resuscitated – which took over half an hour – and then rushed to hospital in an ambulance. I didn’t see him again for an hour or two and didn’t hold him again for several hours. However, at 20 hours old, he decided a drip was not enough and began sucking his fists urgently. Breastfeeding began then and continued (in abundance!) for 8 months.
No.2′s birth was a little different. The two midwives in attendance were obviously uncomfortable with a home birth following our traumatic history. At the appearance of meconium in the amniotic fluid, they urged me to hurry up – completing the second stage in 10 minutes flat. They then took my baby’s temperature and dressed him before giving me the opportunity to hold him. Although I began breastfeeding as soon as possible, I was not as responsive to his cries and did not strive to keep him close to me all the time in those first few hours. He didn’t feed as much, he slept more and consequently he lost more weight and became more jaundiced than his siblings. As it happens, he has also experienced more health problems than his siblings too. However, we did establish breastfeeding well and we continued for 14 months.
It was interesting to hear that lack of the skin-to-skin experience at birth has been shown in research to lead to a greater weight loss and more jaundice – in common with my experience.
The positioning and attachment of the baby can also make a huge difference to the outcome of breastfeeding and we were asked to always consider checking attachment in our roles as peer counsellors, because it is such a common issue leading to difficulties.
As we talked about it, I was reminded of the huge difference in feeding a newborn to my current experience of feeding a toddler – and how easy it is to forget how awkward those first few feedings can feel.
We each talked about the most comfortable positions we had found and I was surprised by how many had used the ‘football hold’, as well as the traditional cradle-hold and lying down. The ‘football hold’ was not one that I remember using much myself, but other mums described how useful it was in feeding a struggling baby – and I could really understand the need for an alternative position. I do remember using swaddling in those circumstances, but there was often a hand popping out of the blanket and getting in the way.
I also found it hugely beneficial to use a sling – especially with my youngest, who always wanted to be carried or fed when I had to do something else.
As well as the different positions, we were reminded that the baby needs to be at the right height to suckle comfortably and most of us remembered using lots of pillows and cushions in the first few weeks. In fact, with my boy being so big now, I still sometimes settle down on the sofa with a pile of cushions, so we can be really comfortable.
We also discussed the importance of feeding on demand. I suppose this is one of the main aspects of breastfeeding which remains at the mercy of our cultural expectations. Lots of the mums in the group knew other mums who, despite adhering to all the other recommendations, felt it was important to feed by the clock. This had led to difficulties with some, but one mum in our group said her son naturally fell into a pattern of feeding ‘on time’ and she found that it didn’t interfere with continuing breastfeeding.
The importance of focusing on the baby’s cues is well-documented. In the early weeks, the mother’s body is responding to the baby’s body by producing more milk, the more the baby feeds. Restricting feeds at this time could lead to a reduction in the mother’s milk supply. Not only that, responding to baby’s cues is part of the dialogue between mother and child that goes beyond the breastfeeding relationship.
However, some babies do settle into a routine early on – and that just goes to show how different babies can be. My babies have differed enormously. My 4th baby rarely cried, sucked her thumb and slept through the night from 9 weeks. Of course we put it down to our fantastic parenting skills – and then we had no.5! He has been the opposite in all those respects!
It is because of those differences that we are encouraged to ‘watch the baby – not the clock’. Although we might want to guide them towards a routine that suits us and our families eventually, at first we must establish what their needs are and how we can meet them.
I feel very optimistic when I hear about this growing trend towards listening to our children, rather than controlling them. I know it isn’t as widespread as we would like it to be, but it is a positive step in a new direction.
Next week, we have a break for half term, so it’ll be two weeks before my next post, but please come back with lots of comments – it always makes for really interesting reading.
Mummy is breastfeeding me because she knows it’s best
But I expect you’re wanting to help her get some rest
I’m very time consuming because I am so new
I know how much you want to help – there’s lots that you can do
Washing, cooking, ironing – you can think of more
Let Mummy do the feeding ‘cos that is not a chore
Both Mum and I need practice until we get the knack
So please don’t say “Good gracious! Another little snack?”
Granny, you’ve got lots of tips – for you are very wise
We welcome your suggestions – but please don’t criticise
You were once like Mummy and now her turn has come
With your love and patience she’ll make a smashing Mum!
Gill Rapley, 1995
This week we had a lively discussion about ‘Barriers to Breastfeeding’. This is obviously a topic of wide-ranging issues and many of the issues raised struck a chord with one or more of the mums in the group.
What sorts of things prevent mums from having a positive experience of breastfeeding? I suppose a large proportion of them can be seen as cultural (in some ways all of them can). For instance: formula and baby-bottle marketing; attitudes of hospital staff; lack of positive role models in the media; attitudes of work-mates and, that old chestnut, ‘Old Wive’s Tales’ (how many have we heard?).
The influence of society and culture around us is so strong though, that it is almost impossible not to internalise the attitudes and the words of those around us. Many fears are instilled in women which become a real barrier to breastfeeding ’successfully’. For example: a fear of pain; of losing freedom; of a change in body-shape; or simply a fear of failure.
For any woman about to become a mother who fears the changes that are inevitable, some sort of support is essential.
If difficulties do arise in the first few days or weeks of breastfeeding (and for many they do), some women find that the solutions offered to them in our culture do not involve continuing breasfeeding. Family, friends and the media may convince the mother that she will have less pain, more sleep, more normality, if she bottle-feeds her baby.
Again, this led me to think that this is about more than just breastfeeding. As one mum told me about formula milk cartons, I found myself thinking, ‘How convenient!’ – then stopping myself with a huge red light: ‘What am I thinking?! What could be more convenient than breastfeeding?’
This culture, that we are a part of, is so wrapped up in consumerism that we can be easily convinced that we need this, or that, to help us fit into our societal roles. So many things come in a package to make our life easier that we have forgotten one of the most important skills that we have as human beings – adaptation.
The instructor told us that she has visited many mums who have asked her, ‘When will life get back to normal?’ Maybe they haven’t realised that what they are describing as ‘normal’ is actually ‘life without a baby’. Life with a new baby hasn’t met their expectations, because those expectations have been shaped by our modern culture.
Of course, having a baby (especially the first time) is a shock to us all – and so we all need support to embrace the change, adapt and find our own parenting style.
It doesn’t help when a midwife on the post-natal ward tells you your baby needs a bottle of formula, because he is hungry, and then presents you with said bottle and the expectation that you will give it to your baby – the experience of at least one mum in our group.
Or when a new mum is told by hospital staff that her baby must experience a bottle before he is a few weeks old, or he may never take one (and you wouldn’t want that, would you?).
Fortunately, our local hospital has now begun UNICEF training programmes, to work towards the ‘Baby-Friendly’ status. This should make some positive changes to delivery, baby, post-natal and children’s wards. Let’s hope that someone sees the sense in passing that information on to all hospital staff. They must remember that all mothers in hospital for non-infectious conditions have a right to breastfeed too.
For some mothers, the choice to breastfeed couldn’t be more difficult. Medical opinion may strongly advise against breastfeeding for mothers who are HIV positive or who are taking medicines or drugs, but it is still the mother’s decision to make.
Our instructor explained that she feels her position, as a medical professional, is to give information to the mother (or parents), so that they can make their own decision. Then she (our instructor) will respect and support that decision, even if she feels it is not the decision she would have made herself.
The exception to that would be where an issue of child protection exists and I asked if, by choosing to breastfeed against medical opinion when HIV +ve, would that be considered a child protection issue? We were told that only evidence of child abuse occurring – not ‘potential risks’ – would be an issue for us to report.
I also asked if any changes had been made to the level of support given to antenatal women undergoing a HIV test in pregnancy. None have.
Many years ago, I had a HIV test in a London clinic, because I was travelling to an Israeli kibbutz and I knew I would be tested there. In the London clinic, I was given counselling before the test (which reassured me that the behaviour which I had perceived as high risk was, in fact, quite low risk), followed by more counselling before receiving the results and after receiving the results. This high level of care really helped me to deal with the anxiety involved in taking the test.
In current ante-natal screening , mums-to-be receive no counselling at all – unless the test comes back positive, then they are referred to the hospital (but, by then, they have already been given the awful news).
I wonder if this procedure is regional?
Another aspect of parenting that some mums in the group felt the medical establishment needed to catch up on was that of co-sleeping. Although our instructor explained that many professionals accept that mums choose to sleep with their babies, the information given out remains extremely cautious on the subject. My favourite warning is: ‘Do not sleep with your baby if you are excessively tired’ – surely that is exactly when most parents begin co-sleeping!
The implication of the information is still that every parent’s aim should be to have a baby safely sleeping all night through in their cot, even though there is much evidence to suggest that co-sleeping encourages breastfeeding and attentive parenting – particularly in the work of Dr.Sears.
This has been a very long blog this week – following some really enjoyable discussions in the group. If you still have a few moments left, it would be great to see your comments.
Many of the mums in the group have said that they wish they had been on this course when they started breastfeeding and I wondered:
What do you know now that you wish you’d known when you started out on your breastfeeding journey?
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