I’d been having this quite painful twingy feeling deep inside the boob that got mastitis a while back and I thought it was a blocked duct that would sort it self out when the Moo weaned. A month later it was still just as bad so I mailed the fantastic LLL who said that it might be deep tissue thrush. All the symptoms fitted, it felt like mastitis but without the redness or lumps, there was nothing to express to relieve it and I am constantly knackered so just a waiting victim for the thrush fairy.
I have a lovely doctor who is quite tolerant of self diagnosis so she prescribed me some fluconazole and it is a whole load better.
I think 4 weeks without mummy milk means we have weaned now. The last time he asked for some he kept coming off and asking for more, then signing that he was thirsty. I explained to him that when he was smaller he needed much more milk but now he is a bigger boy he doesn’t need so much, and one day he won’t need any. He hasn’t asked for it since. I very carefully didn’t have a ceremonial last breastfeed because I knew I would cry my eyes out. He was not feeding for a few days at a time towards the end and even then just once at bedtime and on one side. It has been a slow and gradual self weaning.
So, there’s an era over.
I think this might be the end of my breastfeeding career.I stopped nursing on one side because the Moo never seemed to drain it properly (no matter what position I tried) and nursing on it made it feel sligtly mastitisy. It feels better left alone. The other boob is fine.
If I offer mummy milk to the Moo he rarely says yes until I have asked a few times so I have stopped offering now. He asked for it yesterday but kept coming off and saying ‘more’ and signing ‘thirsty’ so I don’t think there is much there anyway. I can squeeze a drop out but my milk goddess days are over.
I feel sad about this in lots of ways, but if this is weaning it’s been really easy, and he has led the way for most of it. I have very carefully not had a ‘last breastfeed’ as I think that will make me very sad. He can still have some milk if he aks for it.
The Moo is still on one breastfeed a day, it’s part of out bedtime routine. Somedays it’s a one boob snack, others it’s the full double whammy and occasionally he just isn’t interested. We had a 5 day nursing strike last month and that was grim for me, I got really teary and it ws like the worst type of PMT – I was clumsy, irritable and mostly I just cried and cried. I looked it up and it’s really common for abrupt weaners to feel that way, you could hardly call 21 months of predominatly child led weaning abrupt though. I am fine missing a couple of days now though and the good news is no more bras! Hooray for tiny boobs!
The Moo is very good company now, he is just great to have around and sometimes I feel quite sorry that it’s his bedtime cos I won’t have him around to play with. Other times I clock watch from 5pm though, and I can’t wait to give him to our childminder for a couple of hours.
At every playgroup I go to there are mums who are pregnant again. How do people cope with more than one child? I find it hard enough to cope with the one and I feel a bit inadequate. I feel under pressure to breed again to prove that I too can cope with morning sickness and changing bums, sleepless nights and lively toddlers. I think it would kill me and I’d feel a bit unfaithful to the Moo. How could I possibly love another child as much as I love him?
I don’t mind the hassle of washing them or the fact that they decorate every radiator in the house. I don’t mind smells and spashes. I mind the wrestling match every time I have to change the Moo’s bum.
We are still here breastfeeding by the skin of his teeth. Moo is down to one feed a day and isn’t particualry interested in that one. He is cutting about a hundred teeth at once though so I hope he will be a bit more into it when he feels better. I’d really like to get to 2 years so I just keep offering. He is doing normal toddler things now and starting to tantrum, which we studiously ignore.
For the last 5 days we have been down to one breastfeed a day – the bedtime feed. Moo boy rarely asks during the day and at his nap time I put him in his buggy and walk him to sleep instead of going to bed with him. This means I get less rest but more exercise as I used to fall asleep with him. If he gets ill he wil be back on unlimited boobs. He’s walking pretty well now, climbing too. He says a few words we can understand and seems to be practicing new ones, ‘dul’ being the latest one (cuddle). He signs well, about 40 of them now I think.
Where I live you can get pushchairs for free as they have such a low resale value that people just leave them out for the bin men. The first one I found had dodgy wheels, the second was just too huge and clumsy but I love the third one. It’s got tall handles and a little net bag underneath that just about holds a change of cloth nappy.
The Moo is down to 3 boobings a day, one only at bedtime if he is kept busy and 6 or so if he is not feeling well. I would like my body back, I have no libido and my boobs are off limits to bloke because they generally feel chewed. However, bloke has a million allergies so I want to keep BF until the Moo is 2, unless he self weans earlier. He is walking quite well now, says about 3 things clearly and signs about 30! He can sign that he needs his nappy changed which is very useful. He is loads of fun, he likes dancing and eating playdough.
I’ve been looking at the Moo recently thinking, ‘how on earth did that happen?’ It seems bizarre that I should have a child, let alone such a particulary lovely one. (I may be biased!) He has still got a lovely nature (not inherited) and smiles at almost everyone. He says ‘dad’ and ‘duck’ but can sign about 25 words, all the farm animals and some useful things like ‘nappy’, ‘drink’ and ‘hot’. He signs for boobs most often and I nurse him around 4 times a day.
I am a bit worried about his height as he is still pretty dinky but he is eating well (wheat too at last, but no sugar, meat or dairy) and is getting almost tubby. I’m getting pissed off with snide comments about his height at playgroup and people asking if he is handicapped when I sign to him. I just feel like I am doing my very best for him and have to defend it all the time. Though when I think about it I have a breastfeeding toddler who doesnt watch telly, doesn’t know what a chocolate biccy is, or a burger, doesn’t have a pushchair, is not vaccinated, and has a silly name. I guess I am asking for it. And I think his ‘formula is for suckers’ T-shirt has riled them somewhat.
The Moo boy has been walking for the past 3 weeks and is building up speed daily. He just sort of got up and walked, and practiced constantly. It’s weird now cos I can’t remember a time when he
didn’t. He is picking up signs rapidly and can tell me he is hot, needs his bum changing, wants to eat, wants to read a book or wants a drink – mostly mummy milk. He is good at identifying ducks and cows. He is getting the hang of duplo and can make towers of the really simple blocks.
Nights are better, on a good day he sleeps 11 hours straight through, usually in bed with us. He has a horrible habit of reaching out and pulling my hair in his sleep so sometimes I sleep with my feet on the pillow. Breastfeeding is down to 2 or 3 times a day, it is still magic sleepy stuff and I use it unashamedly to get him to nap and at bedtime. The only problem I have (apart from tooth marks) is him kneading at me like a kitten and playing with my face as I nurse. When it gets really
bad I hold his hand so he can’t hurt me but he gets extremely frustrated at that.
I thought Moo Boy was self weaning ‘cos for the last 2 months he was down to 3 or 4 feeds a day. The last few days all he wants is boob, it’s taking me back to growth spurt times. I know exactly what he wants because he signs ‘where’ and ‘milk’ and lifts my t-shirt up.
“that? that? that?” Moo Boy’s first word is from us saying “what’s that?” to him all the time. He sort of says ‘cat’ as well but it’s not reliable. He signs random waving in the air for most animals and the mummy milk sign is used for all drink and food. His other form of communication is a horrid high pitched scream when he is displeased at his servants attitude, mostly when I take dangerous stuff away from him or move the cat out of his line of fire. I am trying to ignore the scream so he doesn’t know how much it gets to me but I think he has me sussed.
Breastfeeding is random, somedays he is only on one feed a day, today it was 4 feeds. I am ok as long as he drinks from both sides but sometimes I need to express a tiny bit into the bath to relieve the pressure. He is eating well, keen on all veg so far, likes my rye bread, fish and eggs. I am getting fat because I eat up all the food he leaves behind. I am still keeping him off wheat and dairy. Bedtimes are late, it’s nearly midnight now and he has just gone to sleep, he sometimes sleeps through now and I never thought that would happen. I need my evenings back to regain some sanity as I am exhausted.