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By Juno Charlett, on October 14th, 2008
The subject for this week’s session was ‘The Composition of Human Milk’. In many ways, this subject is quite scientific, which is a challenge for me, as I am inclined to be happy with the thought, ‘Well, it’s natural so it must be good.’
There is also a big overlap between this subject and ‘The Benefits of Breastfeeding’ and I found that this week we revisited a lot of the information we looked at in week 3 – so I shall try not to repeat myself!
In common with looking at ‘The Benefits…’, our discussion of composition led to comparisons with formula milk.
We began by looking at colostrum, which is unique in its make-up and, as I understand it, impossible to copy – even remotely – with current technology.
As well as being a natural laxative, high in protein, low in fat and carbs, high in zinc, vitamin E and salt, colostrum is full of the ‘magic’ ingredients: macrophages and immunoglobulins.
The macrophages digest disease organisms and the immunoglobulins coat the baby’s gut, protect the baby from infections in the environment and (wow) stimulate the baby to produce his/her own antibodies.
Looking at a comparison sheet (sorry, it isn’t dated), immunoglobulins are virtually absent in formula, whereas they are present in colostrum ‘in abundance’.
I have spent some time this week reading a little about human milk composition in La Leche League’s book, ‘The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding’ – a copy of which we have each been given as part of the course. On the topic of immunoglobulins in colostrum, the book states: ‘This is one of the many reasons for insisting that your baby get nothing but your colostrum and milk in the first days of life. Those first doses of colostrum are designed to gently introduce baby’s immune system to the world outside the womb.’ (2004).
As the milk matures, it remains high in these ‘living cells’ – even containing significant amounts of immunoglobulins after baby turns one year.
In looking at mature milk, it can simply be said that the balance of whey, casein, other proteins, enzymes, amino acids, fat and carbs (lactose) are all designed to protect the human infant and feed the growth of the very unique human brain. Not only that, but the complete package is also 100% digestible, resulting in soft stools with a smell not unlike yoghurt or buttermilk (which, like breastmilk, are high in friendly bacteria).
Our discussions during the session veered towards other aspects in breastfeeding:
from the sweet taste of breastmilk being in synch with the baby’s immature tastebuds (babies have sweet tastebuds from birth, with the other 3 tastes following at around a year);
flavours from the mother’s diet affecting the taste of the milk and the mother’s diet also affecting the baby’s wind – foods which can make us all ‘windy’ being the biggest culprits;
to the possibilities of breastfeeding whilst having breast implants – I didn’t think it was possible, but apparently it is, if the implants are on top of the breast;
and the experiences of breastfeeding in unexpected circumstances – our instructor told us of the relief breastfeeding gave her when her car broke down on a long journey and she was still able to feed her baby. I also described feeding my two year old when he was very poorly with a tummy bug and unable to digest anything but breastmilk – an experience shared by another group member, who found that her son recovered really quickly when he went back to exclusive breastfeeding for a couple of days.
We went on to discuss breastfeeding in public. Touching on that Supernanny programme again, the instructor said how the mother had fed her child in the car, but wondered if she would have felt as comfortable feeding her in the supermarket. I said that I have become less comfortable feeding my son in public as he has got older (although, in some repects, feeding him in front of some family members can be more of a challenge!).
We talked quite a bit about how we might have considered ourselves to be rebellious in the past, or in other ways, and then found that that sense of rebellion has abandoned us when it comes to breastfeeding in public.
It is almost as though we carry around with us a feeling of what is culturally acceptable and I wonder if we would be less concerned about breastfeeding in public if we didn’t feel a public scrutiny on our ‘success or failure’ of our parenting skills and style?
By Juno Charlett, on October 7th, 2008
This week I settled my youngest two in at Nana’s (thanks Mum!) and managed to arrive at the Sure Start Centre early enough to catch a cup of tea before we began. I can’t say I was bright-eyed & bushy-tailed though, as I had been up at 5am feeding my two & a half year old. This was the morning our ID card photos were taken and there was nothing I could do about the bags!
Unfortunately, the session began with an informal chat which left me feeling quite alienated for a few moments. Our instructor this week was chatting about a recent episode of ‘Supernanny’ which had involved the abrupt weaning of a three and a half year old breastfeeding girl and commented on how Supernanny, Jo Frost, had stated that there was no need for a child to breastfeed after the age of 3, as there is no nutritional benefit in it, and that the little girl was controlling and manipulative.
I suddenly felt quite alone in my feelings about – and experience of – breastfeeding toddlers. I have recently read the wonderful book by Norma Jane Bumgarner, ‘Mothering Your Nursing Toddler’, which is a very positive, empowering book about the mother-toddler breastfeeding relationship. The book confirmed what already felt right to me – that a mutually agreeable relationship between the breastfeeding child and mother has a myriad of benefits for both.
Although I didn’t watch Supernanny, I really wonder what is the benefit of a TV programme which encourages us to look at breastfeeding as only being beneficial in a nutritional sense and to consider children as young as 3 to be controlling and manipulative?
Unfortunately I found myself unable to express my upset on Monday (and so it has been saved for this blog!), although I do hope that breastfeeding toddlers will be discussed again at some point.
Given my lack of sleep and my initial upset, I found this week’s subject quite a challenge: Anatomy of the Breast and Hormones of Lactation. We were given lots of handouts and diagrams detailing the many parts of the breast and the ways in which both pregnancy and baby’s sucking stimulates the production of the hormones required to stimulate milk production (commonly known as ‘the Let-Down Reflex’). As we discussed these physical processes, some interesting points came up.
It is the nerves in the breast which make it sensitive and the instructor explained that, in some women, stress and anxiety can inhibit this sensitivity (which is essential to stimulate milk production). We were warned not to underestimate the power of this very real, and debilitating, difficulty that some women experience.
At the opposite end of the scale, one of our group members described having a near-constant flow of milk. Although that may appear to be a godsend to some, it made breastfeeding in public and at night especially awkward and she felt unusual for never having experienced the feeling of milk let-down.
I explained a technique, which I picked up from somewhere, of applying pressure to the breasts to stop the flow of milk when it was not required (the basis of the design of Lilypadz) – although we all thought that applying pressure might not be advisable in the first few weeks, or at anytime when engorement might develop, as it could lead to a blocked duct.
Another member of the group said that she had experienced excruciatingly painful let-downs and warned us to be aware that a mum who described the sensation as painful may in fact be suffering from the condition which she’d had – ‘deep thrush’. It took many years (and a few babies!) for her to discover the cause and find a treatment for it, as there were none of the common visible symptoms associated with thrush.
We had all had different experiences of after-pains as well. Some women had experienced none at all, one had experienced less with each baby and others, like myself, had experienced the classic increase of after-pains after each successive birth. I explained that these pains had been so strong after my 4th child that I involuntarily physically shook with them and couldn’t hold my baby. I felt thoroughly miserable about it and within days had resorted to keeping myself topped up with painkillers, which I had promised myself I would avoid. When I was pregnant with no.5, I researched some alternatives and used the homeopathic remedy Arnica (in tablet form) – one tablet half-hourly for the first 4 hours, hourly for the next 8 hours, etc. – and I was amazed to have hardly any pain at all.
It was really interesting to hear such different stories from the mums in the group – all the time reminding me that everyone is different and I couldn’t possibly predict the difficulties a mother might come to me with as a counsellor. I would really like to hear more stories from you. If you have anything you would like to share, please leave a comment.
Juno
By Juno Charlett, on September 29th, 2008
This week’s session was about the benefits of breastfeeding. We had a delayed start, which I think was due to my children (particularly my youngest) taking a long time to settle in the creche. Once we were all ready, we had a discussion about the benefits of breastfeeding – both for the baby and the mother.
This turned into an interesting conversation, not only because the benefits are huge (many of which I’m sure most people reading this will have heard of before), but also because we were reminded by our instructor that many breastfeeding statistics are based on global figures, which could distort our view of how those statistics relate to us. The figures will often highlight the hazards of bottle-feeding, which appear alarming and, in our supportive roles, may be best not to emphasize. For instance, we were told that, globally, breastfed babies are six times more likely to survive their first three months than bottle-fed ones. But how relevant is that to a British mother, when it takes into account poorer levels of sanitation and healthcare in developing countries?
So, whilst it is useful to be aware of current research on the benefits of breastfeeding, as counsellors we also need to be aware of the effect that information may have on mothers seeking help.
I find statistics a little bit difficult to deal with. Firstly, I find that, whenever I try to quote statistics, I can’t remember the figures (‘…was that one in 500, or one in 5000??), but also, I can see how research is often used to prove theories which could just as easily be disproved by other research. So, generally, I’m happier to stick with what ‘feels right’ to me – and perhaps this goes back to what was said last week about supporting mums in finding their own solutions. If they find a solution (a style of parenting) which feels right to them, then the statistics don’t really matter.
Saying that, as a mum, it is always handy to be armed with a couple of ‘facts’ when entering a heated discussion with someone who is not pro-breastfeeding – but maybe the best fact of all is, ‘Well, this works for us’.
During our discussions, I revealed that, as a baby, I was fed on cow’s milk (yep, straight from the bottle!). I didn’t go on to say, ‘and I turned out alright’, but I suppose the implication was there. How many of the hazards of bottle-feeding did I suffer? Well, a few, but I also have some of the traits of the long-term positive effect of breastfeeding. This led me to wonder how many of these benefits are purely related to breastfeeding. Taking improved brain development as an example, a breastfed baby receives lots of skin contact, eye contact and night-time contact with mum. This improves the mother-baby bond, the communication between mother and baby and maybe this, in turn, influences brain development. I don’t doubt for one second that breastfeeding is best, but of course bottle-fed babies can have skin contact, eye contact and night-time contact with mum in abundance.
This left me thinking of how this information may be helpful in supporting mums who may be feeling guilt or grief over the end of their breastfeeding relationship (when it comes too early for them). However, I guess there is always the risk that I’ll become over zealous with attachment parenting principles, after convincing myself not to be too pushy with breastfeeding advice!
At the end of the session, we watched a wonderful DVD called: ‘The Mother-Baby Dance’.
( http://www.lllgbbooks.co.uk/go_shopping/videos_and_dvds/baby-led_breastfeeding_dvd )
The film was made by Christina Smilie M.D. and Kittie Franz R.N. and it shows them encouraging babies to seek their mothers’ nipple. The mother begins by relaxing her baby and then holds him, skin-to-skin to her chest (in an upright position). We then saw the baby moving into an optimum feeding position. It really was quite amazing to see such an instinctive journey.
Some of the babies were very young and some were already established in breastfeeding. However, there were a couple of babies who were up to 12 weeks old and who were bottle-fed, yet they had not lost the instinct to seek mum’s nipple! Wow!
I have seen a similar film on You Tube, which shows a newborn baby in India doing the ‘Breast Crawl’.
( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zrwfIcPB1u4 )
Unfortunately, my youngest didn’t settle in the creche at all well this week and he was quite upset afterwards. He’s just not used to being without mum, dad or nan I suppose and I think I will have to leave him with his dad (and his older brothers) next week. It’s not the first time one of our children has responded like this to childcare and I sometimes think we must seem a little strange to others in the way that we deal with these things – but I guess there’s a whole other blog in that!
A couple of interesting questions came up in this week’s session and it would be really good to hear what your experiences are (please leave lots of comments!). Firstly, what made you want to breastfeed? and Secondly, did breastfeeding work as a contraceptive for you?
Juno
By Ruth, on July 28th, 2008
For those of you who aren’t already aware of it, Heather Cushman-Dowdee, also known as Hathor the Cow Goddess, runs a fabulous comic blog over at:
http://www.thecowgoddess.com/
Full of hilarious comics about breastfeeding, babywearing, attachment parenting and other “being nice to babies” stuff in general.
She always has an interesting take on news items and products – and it will always make you think – for example see:
http://www.thecowgoddess.com/2008/07/25/support-station/
Where Hathor wonders if the “breastfeeding chair” in the news at the moment is such a fabulous idea.
You can also buy books and signed prints!
Ruth
By Lisa Lactivist, on July 21st, 2008
A mental health expert warns that fashionable advice to ignore your child’s tears may cause lifelong harm
Nanny no longer knows best, the Contented Little Baby Book could undermine a child’s development, and Dr Spock’s advice that a child should be left to cry could cause psychological damage.
When it comes to the crowded and hotly debated world of how best to bring up baby, there is a new theory that uses brain scans to argue that controlled crying not only damages babies’ brains but produces angry, anxious adults.
‘If you ignore a crying child, tell them to shut up or put them in a room on their own, you can cause serious damage to their brains on a level that can result in severe neurosis and emotional disorders later in life,’ said Professor Margot Sunderland, a leading expert in the development of children’s brains and a British Medical Association award-winning author, who has already written more than 20 books on child mental health.
Full story on the Guardian Website here:
http://observer.guardian.co.uk/uk_news/story/0,6903,1345420,00.html
Amelia Hill, education correspondent Sunday November 7, 2004 The Observer
By Lisa Lactivist, on July 20th, 2008
By Elizabeth Pantley, author of The No-Cry Sleep Solution
Here’s something that may really surprise you: As much as we may want our babies to sleep through the night, our own subconscious emotions sometimes hold us back from encouraging change in our babies’ sleeping habits. You yourself may be the very obstacle preventing a change in a routine that disrupts your life. So let’s figure out if anything is standing in your way.
Examine Your Own Needs and Goals
Today’s society leads us to believe that “normal babies” sleep through the night from about two months; my research indicates that this is more the exception than the rule. The number of families in your boat could fill a fleet of cruise ships.
“At our last day-care parent meeting, one father brought up the fact that his two-year-old daughter wasn’t sleeping through the night. I discovered that out of 24 toddlers only six stayed asleep all night long.” …Robin, mother of thirteen-month-old Alicia
You must figure out where your own problem lies. Is it in your baby’s routine, in your management of it, or simply in the minds of others? If you can honestly say you want to change your baby’s sleep habits because they are truly disruptive to you and your family, then you’re ready to make changes. But if you feel coerced into changing Baby’s patterns because Great Grandma Beulah or your friend from playgroup says that’s the way it should be, it’s time for a long, hard think.
Certainly, if your little one is waking you up every hour or two, you don’t have to think long on the question, “Is this disruptive to me?” It obviously is. However, if your baby is waking up only once or twice a night, it’s important that you determine exactly how much this pattern is disturbing to you, and decide on a realistic goal. Be honest in assessing the situation’s effect on your life. Begin today by contemplating these questions:
Am I content with the way things are, or am I becoming resentful, angry, or frustrated?
Is my baby’s nighttime routine negatively affecting my marriage, job, or relationships with my other children?
Is my baby happy, healthy, and seemingly well rested?
Am I happy, healthy, and well rested?
Once you answer these questions, you will have a better understanding of not only what is happening with regard to your baby’s sleep, but also how motivated you are to make a change.
Reluctance to Let Go of Those Nighttime Moments
A good, long, honest look into your heart may truly surprise you. You may find you actually relish those quiet night wakings when no one else is around. I remember in the middle of one night, I lay nursing Coleton by the light of the moon. The house was perfectly, peacefully quiet. As I gently stroked his downy hair and soft baby skin, I marveled at this tiny being beside me—and the thought hit me, “I love this! I love these silent moments that we share in the night.” It was then that I realized that even though I struggled through my baby’s hourly nighttime wakings, I needed to want to make a change in our night waking habits before I would see any changes in his sleeping patterns.
You may need to take a look at your own feelings. And if you find you’re truly ready to make a change, you’ll need to give yourself permission to let go of this stage of your baby’s life and move on to a different phase in your relationship. There will be lots of time to hug, cuddle, and love your little one, but you must truly feel ready to move those moments out of your sleeping time and into the light of day.
Worry About Your Baby’s Safety
We parents worry about our babies, and we should! With every night waking, as we have been tending to our child’s nightly needs, we have also been reassured that our baby is doing fine — every hour or two all night long. We get used to these checks; they provide continual reassurance of Baby’s safety.
“The first time my baby slept five straight hours, I woke up in a cold sweat. I nearly fell
out of bed and ran down the hall. I was so sure that something was horribly wrong. I nearly wept when I found her sleeping peacefully.” …Azza, mother of seven-month-old Laila
Co-sleeping parents are not exempt from these fears. Even if you are sleeping right next to your baby, you’ll find that you have become used to checking on her frequently through the night. Even when she’s sleeping longer stretches, you aren’t sleeping, because you’re still on security duty.
These are very normal worries, rooted in your natural instincts to protect your baby. Therefore, for you to allow your baby to sleep for longer stretches, you’ll need to find ways to feel confident that your baby is safe—all night long.
Once you reassure yourself that your baby is safe while you sleep, you’ll have taken that first step toward helping her sleep all night.
Belief That Things Will Change on Their Own
You may hope, pray, and wish that one fine night, your baby will magically begin to sleep through the night. Maybe you’re crossing your fingers that he’ll just “outgrow” this stage, and you won’t have to do anything different at all. It’s a very rare night-waking baby who suddenly decides to sleep through the night all on his own. Granted, this may happen to you—but your baby may be two, three or four years old when it does! Decide now whether you have the patience to wait that long, or if you are ready to gently move the process along.
Too Fatigued to Work Toward Change
Change requires effort, and effort requires energy. In an exhausted state, we may find it easier just to keep things as they are than try something different. In other words, when Baby wakes for the fifth time that night, and I’m desperate for sleep, it’s so much easier just to resort to the easiest way to get him back to sleep (rock, nurse, or replace the pacifier) than it is to try something different.
Only a parent who is truly sleep deprived can understand what I’m saying here. Others may calmly advise, “Well if things aren’t working for you, just change what you’re doing.” However, every night waking puts you in that foggy state where the only thing you crave is going back to sleep—plans and ideas seem like too much effort.
If you are to help your baby sleep all night, you will have to force yourself to make some changes and follow your plan, even in the middle of the night, even if it’s the tenth time your baby has called out for you.
So, after reading this section and you’re sure you and your baby are ready, it’s time for you to make a commitment to change. That is the first important step to helping your baby sleep through the night.
This article is a copyrighted excerpt from The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night by Elizabeth Pantley, copyright 2002
Website: http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth
By Lisa Lactivist, on July 15th, 2008
So, you’re thinking about nappies? Not everyone’s favourite aspect of parenting, but they’re a pretty much essential part of having a baby. This is why I have posted this short guide here to help you learn more. I being me, Gary Lamont, Real Nappy Network Co-ordinator for the Wiltshire Wildlife Trust, have written this information about the benefits of real nappies, as well as the realities of using washable nappies at home, so you’ll be able to make an informed decision about what is right for you, your baby, lifestyle &our environment.
Real nappies have come a long way from meaning complicated folding, pins, scratchy plastic pants, boiling, soaking and hours of extra work. Like almost everything else in modern life, things have
changed in the washable nappy world over the last 30 years. Cloth nappies:
• Save up to £1200 per bum by washing real nappies at home
• Soft, natural fibres against delicate skin
• Potty training up to 6 months earlier
• No nasty chemical content & no animal testing
• Use less energy & water, even including the washing
• Save over a tonne of waste going to landfill sites
• No more struggling with bulky packs from the shops!
Real nappies are also called washable nappies, cloth nappies, cotton nappies, and even old-fashioned terry nappies. For all these different names, they are basically the same idea: a nappy you wash & use again, rather than put in the bin, like a disposable or single use nappy.
There are literally 100s of different styles & designs to choose from, and real nappies are fast becoming not just an eco-friendly choice, but a fashionable lifestyle choice, with greater choice to show off your wee one’s style from their earliest days!
That’s WHY more & more people choose real nappies, next you’ll want to know: HOW?
Well, while real nappies are not quite as self-explanatory as single use nappies, there isn’t all that much to it. Just think about what you need a nappy to do, and the 3 basic ‘bits’ that make up a real nappy system make perfect sense – it’s as easy as 1, 2, 3 …
1. A LINER catches the poo, so it can be flushed easily.
2. A NAPPY is the cotton bit that absorbs the wetness.
3. A WRAP (or cover, or pants) is the waterproof layer that protects clothes.
Changing real nappies is just as simple as changing single use nappies, you just throw the nappy in a bucket, rather than in the bin – and no need to tie the nappy in a little bag to stop the house smelling of poo, because that bit gets flushed away! No need for boiling or soaking, just chuck the used nappy in a dry bucket and add them to any whites wash. If you line your bucket with a net laundry bag (or old pillow case!), then you throw the open bag straight into the washing machine without even touching the nappies. Simple.
A normal 60 degree wash cleans & sterilizes your nappies, so no need for harsh chemicals, messy soaking or energy-draining boil washes.
Now you know the basics, you need to know how to get started using real nappies, but it can help to actually see the nappies for yourself which is where I come in. To encourage more families to use cloth nappies in Wiltshire, the Wiltshire Wildlife Trust has a scheme which provides a co-ordinator i.e. me, to give free and independent information, trial kits for parents to borrow and try out the various nappies on offer, a money back voucher to assist with initial costs (up to £30 refund) and I help organize local events and demonstrations with opportunities to meet other Real Nappy users.
I thought it may be beneficial at this stage to outline some questions which are regularly asked of me which hopefully you will find useful.
 What about Nappy Rash?
The incidence of nappy rash has massively increased since disposables were introduced to the market place. The most important thing to prevent nappy rash is keeping your baby’s bottom clean, not just feeling dry. It’s really easy to know when a real nappy needs to be changed, not so easy for a disposable that always feels dry, and changing your baby as soon as possible is the key to avoiding nappy rash. Many of the real nappy parents I know saw hardly any nappy rash, and only then when their babies were ill or teething. Nappies made from natural fibres, with a breathable wrap over the top allow much more air to circulate, keeping skin cooler and less irritated than a combination of paper pulp, chemicals and a non-breathable plastic layer.
What about comfort?
Would you choose chemically treated paper pants over natural cotton ones? Would your baby? Real nappies are soft and comfortable, let skin breath and reduce the possibility of irritation from added chemicals. Babies have been in real nappies for hundreds of years, without all the modern styles of nappies, with no problems at all. It’s only adverts for disposables that make us think that they must be more comfortable, common sense tells us otherwise!
Again, adverts for disposables would have us believe that no baby ever learnt to walk before the new, hyper-slim-fitting disposables were invented, and we all know that’s rubbish, literally. While some real nappies may look a little bulky at first, it’s just a matter of what you are used to, and of course a nice soft, comfy cotton nappy gives lots of padding when the little ones land on it when they’re learning to walk.
What about hygiene?
What’s hygienic about putting poo in the bin? Human waste belongs in the sewer
system, where it can be properly treated, and not in a landfill site where it can leach out pathogens, viruses and emits methane, a powerful greenhouse gas. If soiled nappies are washed at 60 degrees, then real nappies are far more hygienic than putting poo in a bin. With any kind of nappy, store used ones sensibly, and out of reach of toddlers.
What about childcare?
A lot of people worry about what their child-carer will say about real nappies. No
registered child-care provider should have a problem with using real nappies. After all, you are paying them to care for your child, and if they have a problem with your choice of nappies, what else might you disagree on? Some child-carers need just a little bit of advice and support, and they will be changing real nappies along with the best!
What about going out?
Going out & about with just real nappies for the first time can be a bit daunting,
particularly if you’ve used disposables before, but it’s really not a problem. All you need is a waterproof bag to store the nappies in until you get home, when you can throw them in the bucket. For days at nursery or overnight stays you’ll want a bigger bag, or a couple of smaller ones. If you’re using flat nappies, it can be handy to have a couple folded & ready to put on in your nappy bag. If your nappy arsenal includes any shaped or fitted nappies, when you’re trying to balance your baby on one of those teeny public changing stations, they can come in handy.
Changing real nappies, like every bit of being a parent, comes with practice, none of us are experts to start with, but it doesn’t take long to be winning nappy-change races against those who haven’t cottoned on to real nappies yet!
What about nights?
Those pesky ads again! Babies have been sleeping through the night for generations before sodium-polyacrylate was invented (that the nasty gel which absorbs all the wee & can absorb vital moisture from delicate skin). There are millions of parents around the world who get a good night’s sleep with a baby in real nappies! Disposable nappies don’t make babies more intelligent, sleep better or for longer, eat better, or able to do somersaults at the age of 2, that’s all just marketing designed to get parents to spend £100s on rubbish, literally.
When using real nappies at night time, an extra booster to add absorbency can help. And fleece liners keep babies feeling dry, which isn’t important unless that is what your baby is used to, so if you’re switching from disposables, they might help.
What about breastfeeding?
Breastfeeding is best for you and your baby, and the benefits increase the longer you are able to breastfeed for. There is lots of help and support available in all areas of the UK (and Wiltshire), so ask your midwife or health visitor for more information on local support groups & advice.
Breastfeeding is only a nappy-issue for the first months, before introducing solid food. Because breast milk is exactly what your baby needs, so much of it is digested that the resulting poo can be quite runny, so you’ll want to think about what nappy system will hold it in. Any nappy, flat or fitted, made from terry material will hold on to the poo best, the bigger the loop, the better the poo-handling. Get in touch for more advice.
What about potty training?
Children today are potty training 6-12 months later than they did 50 years ago, and many parents using cloth nappies see their children potty trained by 2 years. Cloth nappies allow babies to feel when they are going to the toilet, and so they do not have to learn a whole new set of sensations when training. Choosing wraps or nappies which close with poppers for this size can help, as they can be pulled up & down like pants.
I hope that you will find this short guide useful. If you would like more information then please do call me on 01380 725670 ext.236 and I will help in any way I can.
Thankyou for taking the time to read this and Happy Nappying
Gary Lamont
Real Nappy Network Co-ordinator
Wiltshire Wildlife Trust
T: 01380 725670 ext.236
E: GaryL@wiltshirewildlife.org
W: www.wiltshirewildlife.org
By Lisa Lactivist, on July 15th, 2008
Excerpted with permission by McGraw-Hill Publishing from Gently Baby Care (McGraw-Hill 2003).
Help! I’m getting so frustrated with the endless stream of advice I get from my mother-in-law and brother! No matter what I do, I’m doing it wrong. I love them both, but how do I get them to stop dispensing all this unwanted advice?
Just as your baby is an important part of your life, he is also important to others. People who care about your baby are bonded to you and your child in a special way that invites their counsel. Knowing this may give you a reason to handle the interference gently, in a way that leaves everyone’s feelings intact.
Regardless of the advice, it is your baby, and in the end, you will raise your child the way that you think best. So it’s rarely worth creating a war over a well-meaning person’s comments. You can respond to unwanted advice in a variety of ways:
Listen first
It’s natural to be defensive if you feel that someone is judging you; but chances are you are not being criticized; rather, the other person is sharing what they feel to be valuable insight. Try to listen – you may just learn something valuable.
Disregard
If you know that there is no convincing the other person to change her mind, simply smile, nod, and make a non-committal response, such as, “Interesting!” Then go about your own business…your way.
Agree
You might find one part of the advice that you agree with. If you can, provide wholehearted agreement on that topic.
Pick your battles
If your mother-in-law insists that Baby wear a hat on your walk to the park, go ahead and pop one on his head. This won’t have any long-term effects except that of placating her. However, don’t capitulate on issues that are important to you or the health or well-being of your child.
Steer clear of the topic
If your brother is pressuring you to let your baby cry to sleep, but you would never do that, then don’t complain to him about your baby getting you up five times the night before. If he brings up the topic, then distraction is definitely in order, such as, “Would you like a cup of coffee?”
Educate yourself
Knowledge is power; protect yourself and your sanity by reading up on your parenting choices. Rely on the confidence that you are doing your best for your baby.
Educate the other person
If your “teacher” is imparting information that you know to be outdated or wrong, share what you’ve learned on the topic. You may be able to open the other person’s mind. Refer to a study, book, or report that you have read.
Quote a doctor
Many people accept a point of view if a professional has validated it. If your own pediatrician agrees with your position, say, “My doctor said to wait until she’s at least six months before starting solids.” If your own doctor doesn’t back your view on that issue, then refer to another doctor – perhaps the author of a baby care book.
Be vague
You can avoid confrontation with an elusive response. For example, if your sister asks if you’ve started potty training yet (but you are many months away from even starting the process), you can answer with, “We’re moving in that direction.”
Ask for advice!
Your friendly counselor is possibly an expert on a few issues that you can agree on. Search out these points and invite guidance. She’ll be happy that she is helping you, and you’ll be happy you have a way to avoid a showdown about topics that you don’t agree on.
Memorize a standard response
Here’s a comment that can be said in response to almost any piece of advice: “This may not be the right way for you, but it’s the right way for me.”
Be honest
Try being honest about your feelings. Pick a time free of distractions and choose your words carefully, such as, “I know how much you love Harry, and I’m glad you spend so much time with him. I know you think you’re helping me when you give me advice about this, but I’m comfortable with my own approach, and I’d really appreciate if you’d understand that.”
Find a mediator
If the situation is putting a strain on your relationship with the advice-giver, you may want to ask another person to step in for you.
Search out like-minded friends
Join a support group or on-line club with people who share your parenting philosophies. Talking with others who are raising their babies in a way that is similar to your own can give you the strength to face people who don’t understand your viewpoints.
By Lisa Lactivist, on July 9th, 2008
When I was pregnant, we knew that we had some fairly fixed ideas about how we wanted to raise our child, including allowing her to share our bed for as long as she wanted to. We have been shocked and sometimes upset at other people’s reaction to what seemed to be a very instinctive decision, to sleep with our daughter. I am often made to justify this decision and made to feel as if we are ‘bad’ parents just because we hadn’t trained her to sleep in a cot in her own room by 8 weeks old.
As it happens, we didn’t even really talk about it, it just seemed the right and natural thing to do and offered some major advantages. Our daughter loved the constant contact and it made it so much easier to breastfeed during the night. By simply rolling over and letting her feed before either of us were fully awake, we were both able to drift back to sleep much quicker than if I had had to get up to feed, so everyone got extra sleep.
Many studies have shown that co-sleeping helps to establish breastfeeding and leads to a more settled and happy baby. Others claim that these benefits can last for years and that children who slept with their parents do better at school, have higher self-esteem, fewer health issues and is more likely to be well adjusted than their peers.
We know this goes against many bestselling books on parenting, such as Gina Ford and Richard Ferber but we are convinced that this was the right decision for us and for our daughter. Personally, I believe that night time should be about nurturing and closeness, not about training for the realities of later life.
Yes, there can be some downsides to co-sleeping, but most can be overcome with a few adjustments, such as buying a bigger bed. There have been many reported studies into the dangers of co-sleeping, the most recent published early this year in the Lancet. La Leche League, amongst others, claim that they are flawed as they do not distinguish between safe (following current guidelines re temperature, soft bedding etc) and unsafe (eg on a sofa or with parents who smoke or drink alcohol) co-sleeping.
Our daughter is very independent already (at 13 months) and I am convinced that this is due to all the extra nurturing and contact that she receives during the nights. At some stage, she will decide that she wants her own bed and she will be welcome to it. But in the meantime all three of us love the extra time we get together and there is nothing more wonderful than being woken by a kiss from your baby and seeing just how happy they are to be so close to you. I know that in this way we have created many special moments that we all treasure.
What ever you personally decide, do make sure you follow the latest advice re safe sleeping for your baby. Much of it is commonsense, but the following guidelines should help:
- Always put your baby to sleep on their back.
- Use a firm mattress and never co-sleep on a waterbed or on a sofa.
- Do not use a pillow for your baby and always make sure that your baby’s head is clear of your pillows and bedding. This will reduce the risk of smothering and overheating.
- Do not sleep with your baby if you smoke, have drunk alcohol or have taken any drugs which make you drowsy.
- Do not give your baby a pillow, and ensure that his head is not covered by the duvet or the sheets. Either of these could smother him.
- Use bedding that tightly fits the mattress and make sure there are no gaps between the bed and the headboard where they could become trapped.
If you are unsure or need further advice, always speak to your GP or Health Visitor.
Arabella Greatorex is the owner of www.naturalnursery.co.uk, an online store selling organic and fairly traded products for families including organic clothing and nappies, fairly traded toys and natural toiletries.
By Lisa Lactivist, on July 9th, 2008
 Most parents bond instantly with their babies, an intense feeling that makes you want to hold and love and protect them. For some parents, this can take a little longer, especially if there has been a difficult pregnancy or labour. Research indicates that babies who develop fulfilling relationships with their parents tend to grow into secure, well-adjusted adults and even perform better at school.
Bonding is a natural process but there are many ways to help out, especially if you provide focused, responsive care in a nurturing environment.
Breastfeeding – a breastfed baby will receive regular close contact with its mother, helping an early bond to develop. Unfortunately, this is not always easy, so speak to your health visitor if you need any help or assistance.
Touch – a baby’s first communication is via touch, so hold your baby close, cradle her in your arms or use a sling if you need to get on with chores.
Massage – a more structured method of touching your baby and a way of promoting physical and mental growth as well as the parent/baby bond.
Singing – no matter how tone deaf you may think you are, your baby will love to hear your voice. The rhythmic nature of nursery rhymes is very soothing and is believed to help with language development.
Talk – although she may not understand what you are saying, your baby will love to hear you chatting away about what you are doing, whether it is changing her nappy, peeling the potatoes or folding the washing. She will gain confidence from the fact that you are always near and always focused upon her, even if the household chores need to be done.
Pull a face – even very young babies are fascinated by facial expressions.
Regular activities – such as nappy changing time, are a wonderful time to show your baby just how much you love them. Talk to her, kiss her tummy, tell how what lovely dimples she has, how much you love her smile. This will take your mind off what a messy job it is and show that you love her, no matter what.
Slow down – life is getting faster and faster but slow and steady is best for baby. Stop and spend time with your baby, relax and enjoy yourself, your baby will love you no matter what.
Arabella Greatorex is the owner of www.naturalnursery.co.uk, an online store selling organic and fairly traded products for families including organic clothing and nappies, fairly traded toys and natural toiletries.
By Lisa Lactivist, on July 9th, 2008
As published in Issue 2 of The Green Parent
What is Babywearing?
Babywearing is exactly as it sounds – wearing your baby in a sling or baby carrier. These days, most parents own some sort of baby carrier as part of their repertoire of baby equipment, but why is it such a useful thing to have? There are obviously times when a baby carrier can be more convenient than a pushchair but there is also evidence that using a sling has great impact on your baby’s well-being.
Why Wear your Baby?
Babies who are carried cry less
Most babies love to be carried, and babies who spend a lot of time in a sling or carrier tend to cry less than those who don’t. Many new parents can find it overwhelming when their baby demands constant contact and people often worry that they are ‘spoiling them’ or ‘making a rod for their own back’. But a newborn baby is incapable of being manipulative. When they cry at being separated from you they are simply acting in accordance with their instincts for survival.
All newborn animals exhibit a protest-despair response when separated from their primary caregivers. First they cry – to bring their mother back to them. Then if their cries are not heeded they stop crying, in order to conserve the energy needed for their survival. This whole process releases huge amounts of stress hormones into the baby’s body.
If you use a sling around the house this can help you to be mobile and get things done while still meeting your baby’s instinctive need for your touch. This is obviously a good thing for your baby, but is also great for you. A crying baby who can’t settle is extremely stressful for the whole family.
As for spoiling them and building bad habits – as your baby grows and develops they will naturally want to separate and explore their environment. There is plenty of time for them to do this in confidence and security once the bond of trust has been established between you. I don’t know many babies of 9 months who want to be carried all day when they can be crawling!
It’s good for your baby’s development
Research shows that baby-wearing has many benefits for your baby’s health and development. Keeping your baby close to you provides your baby with physical contact, security, stimulation and movement. All of these things provide your baby with the ideal conditions for development. Babies in a sling spend more time in the state known as ‘quiet alertness’ so they are awake but contented. This is the optimal state for learning for a newborn.
As your baby gets older being carried in a sling keeps them closely involved in your life. They are close to your face so can observe your expressions, hear your voice clearly. They are also given more opportunities to interact with other people as they are up high and on the same level as other adults. Whenever I’m carrying my daughter in the sling I always notice how much more other people chat to her and she loves it!
It’s good for your baby’s health
Newborn or premature babies who are carried in a sling against their mother’s body adapt to the environment outside the womb more quickly. The close contact helps to regulate their body temperature, heartbeat and respiration.
Being held in an upright or semi-upright position can help some babies with wind or colic. If you carry your baby in a sling for a while after feeding it can help them to get any wind up and prevent any pain caused by it passing through their system.
Babywearing promotes bonding
Carrying your baby close to you helps them to recognize your unique smell and the sound of your voice. The close contact enables you to learn to recognise your baby’s signals more quickly which helps you to be more responsive to their needs. Babywearing can also be a special way for fathers to bond with their newborn babies. As your baby cuddles up to his Dad in a sling he learns the different sound of his voice and the feel of his body.
Your baby is only going to need you in this way for such a short time. The changes in your child from birth to a year are quite remarkable. Carry your baby close while you can and make the early months calmer and more enjoyable for all of you!
© Little Possums 2004. A family run business based in the UK, selling a huge range of wonderfully comfortable baby slings and baby carriers from around the world!
By Lisa Lactivist, on July 9th, 2008
Think about how you will use your baby carrier
Research the various types of slings
Buy from a reputable vendor
Choose a colour you like
Buy from a reputable vendor
Read the instructions carefully
Still unsure?
Rent a sling before you buy
Buying second hand
Meet up with parents in your area
Take your time
1- Think about how you will use your baby carrier
You want your hands free? baby suffers from colic? You have older kids to take care of or drop off at school? You suffer from back pain? You can’t get a buggy on the bus? You would like to breastfeed discreetly on the go? You have a high-need baby?
2- Research the various types of slings.
These articles should help you understand the various types of slings, the strengths and weaknesses of each type. A wraparound baby sling is very versatile sling, offering endless possibilities to carry your child on your front, back and hip, and excellent support for parent and child. They are ideal if you suffer from back pain. A ring sling uses one-shoulder carry, convenient for discreet breastfeeding on the go. A pouch sling is very easy to use and convenient if baby is coming up and down. A mei-tai or chinese-inspired carrier can be a great choice for toddlers, making it easy to pop baby on your back.
3- Buy from a reputable vendor.
You will be carrying your baby in that sling, his or her safety is paramount. The choice of fabric, the way it’s seamed or hemmed, tested by lots of mums in different situations. Buy from a vendor with a proven track record, don’t go for a bargain at the expense of your baby’s safety. Don’t hesitate to ask questions to your vendor, how they choose their fabric, how the slings are tested for comfort. Does it come with their own set of instructions or do they refer you to someone else’s site? Will they be available to help you once you’ve received your sling? Do they comply with the Trading Standard Regulations on distance selling?
4- Choose a colour you like.
It sounds vain but chances are you will be wearing your baby carrier day in and day out for months or years. So choose a baby sling that’s going to make you feel good. You might want to think about your partner’s tastes. Some slings can be worn by parents of different sizes so you might have to share your new sling!
5- Read the instructions carefully.
Even if you’re instruction-challenged as I am, take the time to read the instructions on the vendor’s website. They can help you understand if this baby carrier is right for you. If the instructions aren’t clear, get in touch with the vendor, they will be interested in hearing feedback.
6- Still unsure?
Ask questions to the manufacturer. Tell them how you would like to use your sling, how old and how heavy your child is, if you have older children, if you suffer from back pain… They have been using their slings for years, testing it in all kinds of situations. Most manufacturers have a team of testers of mums of different sizes with children in a wide age range, they should be able to advise you whether their sling is the best suited for you.
7- Rent a sling before you buy
You can rent a sling for a couple of weeks, allowing you to give the sling a try before you buy.
8- Consider buying a sling second hand.
Buying slings second hand can be a very good way to start into the world of baby slings. Well-known brands hold value and are easy to resell. Some baby slings – like German style wraps – are actually easier to use when they’ve been used and the fabric has softened.
9- Meet up with parents in your area.
Use the Sling Meet forum to locate parents in the area. Tell us where you are and what sling you would like to try. If you’re not sure, just tell us how you would like to carry your child. We will help you locate someone locally to help you make a choice.
10-Take your time!
Now, you have your sling and your instructions. Take your time, don’t try to rush through it, you didn’t learn to drive in one day. Learning to carry your child is similar to breastfeeding, so natural and yet we need to re-learn the art of carrying our children. Choose the carry that appeals the most and practice step by step. If you don’t seem to get on with your sling, don’t rush to buy another one, it takes time to get used to. Be patient.
And now it’s your turn!
Tell us what you wished you had known before you bought your first sling. This article has been written by listening to the experiences of several parents. If you have any other advice for a first time baby wearer, just email us, we’ll be happy to add to this list.
Text by By Anne Dhir of Calin Bleu Slings
By Lisa Lactivist, on July 9th, 2008
Choose your sling carefully
Take your time
Read the instructions
Choose your moment
Read the instructions
Go step by step
Get some help
Look up Sling Meet
Question the vendor
Take pictures
Keep your baby happy
Choose your sling carefully
The best way to get into years of happy baby wearing is to choose your baby sling carefully.
Take your time
If there is only one thing you should remember from this article, it’s this: take your time. You didn’t learn to care for your baby, change his nappy, or breastfeed in one day. Learning to carry your baby in a sling is a new skill. Some people take to it easily. Others need a bit more time to be comfortable. Be patient, it’s worth it.
Read the instructions
Most slings come with detailed instructions. Read them carefully.
Pay attention to the Safety notes, inspect your baby sling.
Some slings are best washed before you use them, to soften the fabric and make it easier to tie.
CHECK YOUR SLING regularly for wear and tear. If you’re unsure about the instructions, check on line to find more ways of using your baby sling. Check out the resources page.
Most parents find it easier to choose the carrying position that appeals the most and practice until you’re comfortable with it. However, keep in mind that some children have a preference for ONE POSITION or another. Some babies don’t like the hammock carry for example and prefer to be carried upright from birth.
Choose your moment
To try on your new sling, choose a moment when your baby is relaxed, fed, changed and happy. If they get upset, stop and try again later. They might need some time to get used to this new feeling of being held in a sling.
Practice over a soft surface like a bed, or a sofa until you’re comfortable.
Practicing in front of a mirror can also help you see what you’re doing (in addition to keeping the little one entertained!)
Go step by step
Some parents have found it helpful to learn step by step: place the sling and practice with a doll. When you’re comfortable enough, place the baby and take your time adjusting it. If you’re learning back carries, start by placing the baby on your back without the sling.
Get some help
You might want to ask another adult to stand by while you try on your new baby sling, help you support the baby, check that the fabric is spread out and not twisted. It’s particularly important when you learn back carries when you can’t see the baby on your back.
Look up Sling Meet
Log on the Sling Meet forum to find a parent near you. They will be able to help you get a comfortable fit with your sling, adjust the height, spread the fabric, place the baby in the correct position. You’ll be surprised how many parents arrive at a meeting thinking they need to buy a new sling because they can’t get comfortable with theirs … and leave with a happy baby!
Question the vendor
Sling vendors and manufacturers are passionate about baby wearing. Don’t hesitate to contact them with any question you might have about your baby sling. They have been using their products for years, testing them in all kinds of situations. Most manufacturers have a team of testers of parents of different sizes with children in a wide age range, they should be able to advise you on how to adjust the sling to be most comfortable.
Take pictures
Once you’ve placed the baby in the sling and adjusted the fabric, take a few photos (front and back). First, compare them with the photos on the sling manufacturer’s site. This can help you answer a few questions: is the baby at the same height? Does it look tight enough? Are the rings at the same height…
You can also send your photos to the vendor. In our experience, it’s the best way to get the seller to help find the perfect fit with your sling. We’ve had very good results in the past.
Keep your baby happy
Some babies settle immediately in the slings. With others, you just need to take a few steps around the house. But for most babies, the easiest way is to go out as soon as you’ve placed them in the sling. The pace of your walk reminds them of the movement when they were in the womb.
When you’re learning to use your sling as a backpack baby carrier, choose a phrase to repeat every time you wrap, to remind your child to lie still on your back. You will be surprised by the result.
And now get started, enjoy your new sling!
Text by By Anne Dhir
Calin Bleu Baby Sling
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