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February 22nd, 2012
Conwy Breastfeeding Friends Peer Supporters have been nominated for the Pride Of Conwy Award and have decided to open their doors to those wanting further information about training to become a Peer Supporter.
Have you ever thought you’d like to help other mothers? Have you breastfed your children for a 6 months or longer? If so then come along to Princes Drive Baptist Church, Colwyn Bay, LL29 8LA on the Wednesday 7th March, from 10am-12pm.
You can ask questions about the training and what’s involved. You can also find out about becoming a Breastfeeding Councillor too. If you would like some Peer Support yourself, then you are welcome too.
There will be some filming for our awards clip but that won’t take up much time. Tea and coffee will be available and some friendly faces and children are always welcome.
Posted in Breastfeeding | Comments
February 22nd, 2012
 This is how Lactivists celebrate pancake day! Pancakes that look like boobs!
Boobs, mums and babies made out of pancakes! Pancakes in a bra! Strawberry aereolas and nipply bits! One mum said her daughter looked at her boob pancakes and said “not your boob though mummy. Thanks for making my boob food!”
Thank you to everyone who sent in pictures for the Lactivist Facebook Wall!
Posted in Breastfeeding | Comments
February 20th, 2012
Karen, the lovely mum behind www.boobiemilk.co.uk (who sponsor Lactivist) is going to be sponsoring the breastfeeding room at the Sussex Baby and Toddler show in Hastings on the 10th March.
She would like to know if you have any ideas for things she can do in the room. She can put posters up, leaflets, anything really. What would make it really good? There will already be water, flowers, some free sample breast pads in the room.
Posted in Breastfeeding | Comments
February 20th, 2012
To print this out on A4 paper just click this link – keep_calm_carry_on_poster to open a PDF.
If you prefer this one, click this link – keep_calm_latch_on_poster
Posted in Breastfeeding, Freebies | Comments
February 20th, 2012
 Thank you to Ruth for telling us about this on the Lactivist Facebook Page.
NHS Eastern and Coastal Kent have had an extraordinary response to their ‘Keep calm and carry on Breastfeeding’ campaign.
The purpose of the campaign is to drive home the message that it’s now illegal to ask someone to stop breastfeeding in public, and that women who wish to breastfeed should keep calm and carry on.
Breastfeeding has many health benefits for both mum and baby – including reducing the risk of breast cancer.
Breastfed babies are also less likely to suffer from asthma, eczema, allergies and diabetes in later life, and require less medical treatment and hospitalisation than bottle fed babies.
Want to spread the word?
The ‘Keep calm and carry on breastfeeding’ artwork can be downloaded and used by anyone who wants to create a poster, t-shirt, mug – or any other way to spread the word about breastfeeding.
http://www.easternandcoastalkent.nhs.uk/your-health/baby-matters/keep-calm-and-carry-on-breastfeeding/
Posted in Breastfeeding, Freebies | Comments
February 16th, 2012
To open up a PDF of a certificate you can print out and give to anyone who has helped you with breastfeeding just click on this link -
loved by lactivists
 if you want one that doesn’t mention the Lactivist Facebook page click this link – loved by lactivists no mention of facebook
Posted in Awards, Breastfeeding | Comments
February 16th, 2012
BREAKING NEWS from http://formulafree.com/pages/FacebookDebate.htm
Facebook is a very resourceful place for social and business networking. However as most people have heard through the media lately, Facebook has removed profile pictures of breastfeeding.
While there are many opinions about repeated removals and no attempt by Facebook to accept the breastfeeding photos, I thought WHY?!? Why is it a big deal? Why would Facebook remove nursing photographs (most of which barley show any breast)?
The researched and factual answer is:
A Facebook Shareholder is the owner of an Infant Formula Company!
- Billionaire Li Ka-Shang who is a Facebook Shareholder of 0.75% (an estimated $165 million value) owns Hutchison China MediTech Ltd.
This may not appear to be a substantial amount, however when you review the shareholder list for Facebook it is a substantial influence.
Hutchison China MediTech Ltd announced on May 26, 2011 that it will enter the Chinese infant-formula milk powder market through cooperation with Hain Celestial Group Inc, a leading US natural and organic products company.
“By launching Earth’s Best and Zhi Ling Tong co-branded organic infant formula in China, the companies are targeting the country’s premium market” … China “sees 15 million newborn infants every year, thus the market potential of baby milk powder is huge”.
“In the next five years, the company will strive to gain 2 percent market share, which equals some $123 million.”
- A fast mention that Interpublic Group which is another Facebook Shareholder of less than 0.5% (an estimated $110 million value) is the parent company of Draftfcb, and Lowe + Partners.
Draftfcb client list includes Nestle and Pfizer. Both companies are known for infant formula. Lowe + Partners also list Nestle as a client.
You might ask what this has to do with breastfeeding photos on Facebook. That is a simple answer; however, you tell me why Facebook’s shareholders who invest in an infant formula company would want to stop the promotion of breastfeeding?
There are many debates and disagreements within our society of how to raise a child. But there is no synthetic substitute that can compare to true Organic Milk from a mother.
Society should be changed for the better, to a culture that promotes Formula Free babies and supports breastfeeding. What society seems to forget is that breastfeeding is normal! The more you see something, the more normal it becomes and the less people will relate a bottle to a baby before a breast.
It seems that Facebook while free to its users comes with a price. Social networking is controlled by those who can afford to control it. One thing the formula companies will never be able to market and never understand is the bond that breastfeeding creates. We do not breastfeed to save money (that is just a bonus), we breastfeed because it’s the best thing for our babies, ourselves, and our environment!
Breastfeeding moms make a difference! Keep up the great work and if you want to pass on the research we’ve done, feel free to Share on Facebook, Tweet it or pin it! We can all make a difference and you already have!
Posted in Lactivism | Comments
February 15th, 2012
Nest is a natural parenting store, selling everything you need for a natural pregnancy, birth and for children up to 6 years, from nursing bras to cloth nappies to organic childrenswear.
They are also the latest stockists of Lactivist pro breastfeeding t-shirts and bags!
The Nest natural parenting store and website are now officially open. You can find the store at 74b Fore Street Totnes Devon TQ9 5RU or find them online at www.nest-shop.co.uk.
They also have a Facebook page – www.facebook.com/pages/Nest-Natural-Parenting-Store/134897626622628
Posted in Breastfeeding, Stockists | Comments
February 15th, 2012
 Monkey Mama Nursing Necklaces are having a sale starting at lunchtime on the 15th February to celebrate Isaac’s birthday and their 24 month bfing milestone – 24 products at 24% off for 24 hours.
Here’s the direct link to the sale section:
http://www.etsy.com/shop/monkeymamanecklaces?section_id=11137689
They are only 12 people away from having 500 likers on Facebook too so if you are not a fan please click on the link - https://www.facebook.com/monkeymamanecklaces?ref=ts, they often have bargains on there so it’s worth keeping an eye on!
Posted in Breastfeeding, Sponsors | Comments
February 12th, 2012
The Biological Norm Breastfeeding Awareness Conference
4th May 2012 The Village Hotel, Bournemouth, Dorset, UK
Speakers:
Dr Michel Odent, Michel Odent is best known as the obstetrician who introduced the concepts of birthing pools and home-like birthing rooms. He has published 12 books in 21 languages and recently completed a trilogy of books, The Scientification of Love, The Farmer and the Obstetrician and The Caesarian.
John Carnochan, Director of the Scottish Violence Reduction Unit, who talks about links between a child’s upbringing and environment and the risk they face of falling into violent behaviour.
Dr Kerstin Uvnas who is a recognized as a world authority on oxytocin.
Dr Charlotte Russell who is an infant sleep expert
Ann Sinnott the author of ‘Breastfeeding Older Children’
Contact: Claire Wakefield, Breastfeeding Support Service,
Dorset Healthcare University Foundation Trust
Community Health Services (Bournemouth and Poole)
551-553 Wallisdown Road, Canford House, Poole, Dorset, BH12 5AG
Email: claire.wakefield@dhuft.nhs.uk
Posted in Breastfeeding | Comments
By Lisa Lactivist, on November 7th, 2011
FAMILY HEALTH CARE FROM THE GRASS ROOTS UP
The website offered by Welcome Worlds Herbal Teas (www.welcomeworldworldcafe.com) is focused on enabling families to become more familiar with using herbs in the home.
To become self reliant in the context that many family ailments and sustaining family wellbeing can be simply attended to by reaching to the store cupboard if we have access to herbal knowledge and the healing balm of love. Amanda Rayment, master herbalist and childbirth educator of many years has designed a new and exciting course called ‘The Home Herbalist Apprentice’. This course, which is an extension of the website, aims to support family health in the home. On the course aspects of family life will be explored in context of supporting wellbeing and attending to ailments with natures store cupboard of herbs and foods. We will start the herbal journey by attending to ourselves through exploring nurturing and nourishing moving through the seasons and moving into exploring family life experiences of babyhood, childhood and beyond. Each group member will produce their own Herbal which will contain particular plants they will have studied in depth, built a relationship with and trust the use of them in their family life. If you have an enthusiasm for using herbs, well being foods and the healing balm of love within your life and would like to explore more. This course can offer you the opportunity to spend a year opening your heart to the home herbalist. The course is offered in a format to support family life which includes home study, group modules, and online workshops, telephone and email support with Amanda.
“A herbalist in every home, a practitioner in every town” (quote from the herbalist Dr John Christopher.)
To find out more and read the following articles go www.welcomeworldcafe.com
‘Herbal remedies for mother and baby after the birth’. ‘Herbal assistance for breast feeding’.
By Lisa Lactivist, on October 17th, 2011
 This brilliant idea is from The School of Babywearing™ who are very excited to have had ten colouring pages designed especially for the School of Babywearing by Delia Hubbard, author of Baby Carriers & Slings: A Child’s Colouring Book. The pictures are free to print out for use at Sling Meets or Groups – give them to children everywhere to colour!
Victoria from The School of Babywearing™ said
‘I really love them because I feel, similar to breastfeeding (although admittedly less important!) that our kids need babywearing to be normalised & for it to be a part of everyday life so having these pictures to colour in is one way for them to feel that it is normal. My 2 year old was really excited & kept asking if it was me in all the pictures !’
http://www.schoolofbabywearing.com/colouring.html
They would be great to collage on, or to potato print or hand print on as there is enough space on the sling part to be really creative!
By Lisa Lactivist, on October 10th, 2011
I am really proud and happy to welcome The School of Babywearing™ to Lactivist as a site sponsor, they join the other companies who keep this website running on the list of Lactivist Friendly Businesses.
The School of Babywearing™ is a social enterprise that runs a variety of training courses for parents, professionals, businesses and other interested organisations about wearing babies and children in slings and baby carriers. As a social enterprise, they use their profits to fund the work they do. Their mission is to spread the word about the benefits of babywearing widely throughout the UK and they do this through all their activities which include providing babywearing training courses, distributing literature and other resources and supporting babywearing consultants.
They are booking onto their first round of courses at the moment which are running in November in Cheshunt, Herts.
There is a one day Peer Support course, aimed at those people who offer babywearing support to parents in a group setting, such as antenatal classes, postnatal groups, etc. and a Babywearing Consultancy course which runs over one evening and two days, allowing people to qualify and become insured as a Babywearing Consultant. They will work with parents on a group and individual basis and can earn a part-time income while working very flexibly around the needs of their own children.
As part of International Babywearing Week this week, they have extended their Early Bird booking discounts.
The website at www.schoolofbabywearing.com has some excellent resources and very soon they will be launching some sling colouring pages which are beautiful illustrations of parents and babies in a range of different slings.
You can also find them on Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/pages/School-of-Babywearing-CIC/162884967094971?ref=ts&sk=wall
By Lisa Lactivist, on September 30th, 2011
Devon Attachment Parenting Support Group will be celebrating its first birthday in October after a year that has seen increased numbers at every meeting.
Michelle Mattesini, who set up DevonAPI, is currently the only Attachment Parenting International Accredited Support Group Leader in the UK. Attachment Parenting International are a not-for-profit organisation based in the USA who have been advocating attachment principles for over 15 years and awarding accreditation to groups all over the world including those in Portugal, Norway, Turkey and all over North America.
DevonAPI’s monthly meetings are a mixture of general discussion as well as focus on specific topics such as ‘sharing sleep’, ‘providing consistent care’ or ‘positive discipline’. Information is available in the form of leaflets and a comprehensive book library on subjects relevant to attachment parenting.
The DevonAPI sling library is well stocked with a variety of wraps, ring slings, soft-structured carriers and a mei tai – experienced babywearers are always on hand to help.
The group also holds Enrichment Meetings and the first of these last May was a big success with two guest speakers on nutrition and homeopathy. The second Enrichment Meeting in September explored education and included speakers from Steiner, Montessori, Forest School and those involved in homeschooling. The group have also started meeting in the woods every fortnight with a mum who is Forest School trained and who volunteers to faciliate a craft session at the end of the social woodland ramble.
If you are passionate about attachment parenting or curious to discover more you may be interested in learning more about training as a Support Group Leader. The training is distance learning with a personal tutor and prepares you for the practical and emotional elements in starting up a group with additional support coming from contact with Support Group Leaders globally via the API Leaders Forum. If you would like to understand attachment theory or read the API principles that aim to help parents raise secure, empathetic and joyful children through mutually respectful relationships then check out www.attachmentparentinginternational.com and www.devonapi.com
If you are looking for support feel free to contact Michelle at devonapi@yahoo.com
By Lisa Lactivist, on September 21st, 2011
 This competition to win a Calin Bleu Baby Sling asked you for your sling wearing tips and wow! What a response!
You can see all the tips here: www.lactivist.net/?p=3288
I would have never thought of practicing with a teddy or in front of a mirror! Genius!
If you haven’t used a sling but would like to try one there might be a slingmeet near you where you could meet up with babywearers who will happily talk to you about slings and let you try some out.
The winner of the comp was drawn using random.org and it is Michelle Mattesini who had these great tips:
1). When choosing your wrap pick a colour you are happy to wear EVERY day, you will live in it for months!
2). If there isn’t space to put a finger under baby’s chin then adjust immediately.
3). Frequently check the hollows of your baby’s knees to make sure they are evenly supported.
4). Don’t forget your wrap can also be a pillow, a blanket, a black-out blind for a car seat, a discrete breastfeeders friend, a rough&tumble accessory as well as being the wrap your baby adores to snuggle, feed, observe and sleep in!
5). Tuck in the tails of a fabric knot when offering your toddler a wee in a public loo or outdoors!
By Anne Crochu-Dhir, on August 11th, 2011
 Once you have mastered your new baby sling, you will find it takes seconds and you will wonder how you ever managed without it. However some parents find getting used to their new baby sling a little daunting and don’t manage a comfortable fit straight away. Before giving up on your baby carrier away or buying a new one, take a few moments to give it another a chance. Here are some tips to help you make your baby carrier more comfortable and we would love to hear yours.
- Read the instructions carefully.
Don’t try to master all the carries at once. Choose one and make sure that is suitable for your baby’s age. Pay attention to the manufacturer’s photos. Some carriers may look similar but are actually worn differently.
- Your baby sling should feel snug.
Your baby should be held snug against your chest. Here are a few simple ways to test baby is snug enough:
- He should not wobble even when you rock gently from side to side.
- If your baby is carried upright facing you, gently push his back. If you feel his body ‘uncurl’ and come closer to you, the sling was snug enough.
- Does your baby feel lower after you’ve carried him for a few hours ? If yes, the fabric was probably not taut enough to start with.
- When putting on your baby sling, remember to pull tightly on the fabric at each step.
There are two simple ways to make sure that your baby is held correctly. ‘Kiss level’: simply tilt your head forward to kiss your baby’s head. ‘Bottom’: his bottom should never be below your navel. When you hold your baby high, the weight doesn’t ‘pull’ you down resulting in less tension.
Wide straps helps spread your baby’s weight evenly across both shoulders, your back, and hips. Make sure the straps are well spread across your back and that the fabric is neither bunched up or twisted. The fabric should also be spread widely across your baby’s body to provide optimum support.
- Check the straps’ position.
The straps should be positioned in the middle of your shoulders, not too close to your neck which would create uncomfortable pressure.
These were five simple ways of making your baby sling more comfortable. They are true for almost all types of slings. If you’re still not 100% convinced, don’t hesitate to contact the shop you bought it from to ask for further assistance, or find the details of your local sling meet to find an experienced ‘babywearer’ to help.
This advice was gathered by Calin Bleu after talking to many babywearing parents.
A Calin Bleu is a lightweight wraparound baby sling in cool cotton or snuggly microfleece: a long length of material, tailored and shaped to wrap around your body and your baby for comfort and ease, so you can hold your baby close.
 We would love to hear your tips. What helped you find a comfortable fit with your baby sling? What would you recommend to a new parent using a carrier for the first time?
To enter the competition to win a Calin Bleu baby wrap of your choice:
Comment on www.lactivist.net leaving your tips for babywearing (each tip earns 5 entries)
You can earn an extra entry for each of these things:
Please remember to tell us how many entries you are claiming!
- This competition is only open to Europe sorry,
- The winning tip will be drawn among the comments left on the Lactivist.net website before September 10th, 2011.
- Only genuine comments will be accepted.
- By entering this competition, you agree that your entry may be published on the Calin Bleu websites.
The competition is now closed and the winner was Michelle Mattesini who has been emailed. Congratulations Michelle and thanks to everyone for entering!
By Anne Crochu-Dhir, on July 27th, 2011
 When it comes to travelling, some parents are quite happy to bundle up the little one in a baby sling and carry on as usual. Others feel that the arrival of children in the family means that their travelling days are over. Do you recognised yourself in any of these examples? Are you feeling nervous or overwhelmed at the thought of travelling with children? Here are a few tips to travel stress-free. We’d love to hear yours too.
- Use a baby sling. Prams can be awkward to transport: even the compact models take room in the boot, they are difficult to fit in luggage compartment in a train, and can be damaged in transit when travelling by plane. Having a baby sling on hand makes things so much easier. Your baby can sleep as long as he needs, even if it’s time to go through airport security or transfer from a train to another. You can keep your little one safely tucked in which goes a long way to make him feel comfortable in a new environment.
- Breastfeed as long as you can. If you were planning to stop breastfeeding your baby in the months before a long trip, think again. It might be worth continuing a little. Being able to breastfeed on the go means that you are never worried about running out of snack or milk even if your plane is delayed or if you are stuck in a traffic jam. You also have an effective tool to calm an over-active, over-tired or over-stimulated child. You will also be travelling with a much lighter changing bag. If you’re flying, you will appreciate not having to worry about restrictions on liquid and baby food which seem to vary a lot between airports, airlines, and even security staff!
- Pack light. You have a light changing bag, a light baby sling, now it is time to make sure your suitcase is also light. Well before your trip, make a list of everything you’re planning to take. At the end of the holiday, cross out anything that you didn’t use and keep that list for the next trip to get a better idea of what you actually need (allowing for weather changes).
- The bulky stuff: Do you really need a folding crib or could you borrow one there? Have you considered co-sleeping or simply using a mattress on the floor? Do you need to take the car seat with you or could you borrow/rent one upon arrival? Do you need so many changes of clothes for you and your little one or could you do with one less? Can you replace toiletries with smaller containers? Some organic baby toiletries are suitable for the whole family for example.
In our experience, the earlier you start travelling with children, the easier it is. Both you and your children will get used to travelling together and adapt easily. Be relaxed and your children will follow your cues.
What are your best tips for travelling with kids? Do you find it easy or difficult?
By Lisa Lactivist, on November 4th, 2010
Parent/Baby Drop-in Session, Exeter City Centre
Shopping in Exeter?
Want to breastfeed your baby?
Want a rest and a cup of coffee?
Want to meet other parents in an informal setting?
Want to find out about real nappies?
Want to try on a baby sling?
Come along to the FREE Exeter Baby Activities drop-in session at the Mint Methodist Church at the top of Fore Street (5 mins from Cathedral Green).
View Map
Wednesdays, 10.30-12.30
13th Oct 2010
10th Nov 2010
1st Dec 2010
12th Jan 2011
9th Feb 2011
9th Mar 2011
By Lisa Lactivist, on July 10th, 2010
www.thebundlejungle.co.uk
My name is Elle and I have a nearly 6 month old daughter. From the moment she was born I found myself parenting her in a way that was different to the “mainstream” parenting styles and I’ve faced a lot of criticism for my choices. Though it has all come naturally to me and it has worked so well for my daughter it has not been without a lot of self doubt and difficulty. Going against the grain is never easy, especially where parenting is concerned.
I created the forum as a lifeline for parents in a similar situation and also for anyone interested in baby led parenting. We’re very focussed as a community on supporting our members and a great feature of the forum is our Guru system in which more experienced parents advise and support others in aspects of parenting such as breastfeeding, cloth nappies and baby led weaning.
The Bundle Jungle is friendly and welcoming to those trying to conceive, pregnant women, fathers to be and parents from all walks of life. What makes our forum different to other mainstream pregnancy and parenting forums is, not only our focus on community support but, also our interest in challenging the way we look at parenting. We currently have an internal wiki (Bundle Wiki) which is available for members to create articles on anything they like, with the aim of creating a knowledge base that members and guests can access at any time to learn more about all aspects of the conception-pregnancy-parenting journey and much, much more.
Another fantastic feature, coming soon to the forum, is the addition of an internal blog (Bundle Blog). This will allow members to write about and document all aspects of their journey from that first positive test, to scan pictures, baby’s first kick, labour, birth, parenthood and everything in between. Members will be able to follow each other and comment, making the journey a shared one.
The most important thing to us is a happy, supported memberbase.
Signing up is free and we frequently run giveaways as our way of giving back to the community. So, do come and say hello, whether you wish to share your knowledge in our wiki, get advise and support or just have a chatter, The Bundle Jungle has something for everyone.
By Lisa Lactivist, on July 4th, 2010
 Breastfeeding and babywearing really go together well. Some mums even say that a sling is indispensable!
Kangarinos is a small mama run business selling sling and baby carriers they think you’ll love! Each sling has been tried out thoroughly (it’s a tough job!) and receive excellent reviews from babywearers.
The range includes:
Stretchy wraps, such as Wrapsody (as pictured) and Moby: These take a little practice to get the hang of but are so soft and snuggly and come in some really beautiful patterns and colours.
Storchenwiege Woven Wrap: Sturdier than a stretchy wrap they can be used from newborn right up to toddler.
Connecta Buckle Carriers: Absolutely brilliant for quick back carries when popping out to the shops!
Kozy Mei Tais: An Asian inspired carrier with modern funky patterns (which also reverse to a plain side!).
Slinglings Pouch Sling: Gorgeous silky material perfect for newborn cuddles. But also brilliant for up and down toddlers!
Pouchlings ring slings: Incredibly pretty fabrics and attention to detail in this adjustable sling.
By Lisa Lactivist, on March 15th, 2010
Printable cards to give to anyone giving you grief for wearing your baby safely in a safe sling:
http://www.sleepingbaby.net/sling_safety_card.pdf
There is a wealth of information about using baby slings safely on this Facebook Page:
http://www.facebook.com/BabywearingSafety?ref=mf
This page provides safety information about correct positioning for newborns and small babies in soft carriers such as pouches, ring slings, mei tais (Asian-style baby carriers), wraps, and buckle carriers.
It also warns parents of the risks of using bag-type carriers such as the Infantino SlingRider and similar duffel-bag style carriers made by companies such as JJ Cole, Premaxx, Boppy, Lamaze, Munchkin, or any other similar design.
Any bag style carrier that resembles a duffel bag, with a flat bottom and two sides that slant upwards towards an elasticized or padded top, is inherently unsafe and should never be used for a newborn or small baby.
1) The bag carrier forces baby into a prone, C-shape position, tucking baby’s chin to chest and potentially impeding breathing.
2) Even if a mesh panel is present, the baby’s head being enclosed in fabric may cause baby to rebreathe her exhalations that are high in carbon dioxide.
3) It is difficult if not impossible for parents to view their babies’ faces at all times and monitor breathing.
4) Babies may roll towards the side of the carrier and end up with their faces pressed into fabric, obstructing breathing.
HOW TO USE THIS SITE: Please start with the links, look at the pictures, and read through the discussion pages. Please post if you have any questions! (read less)
Mission:
To promote safe babywearing by educating parents about baby carriers and the ways that baby carriers should and should not be used.
Products:
PLEASE NOTE: this page is a compendium of information from many experienced babywearing advocates and educators. Thank you to all of you for all of your hard work in teaching parents how to wear babies safely! An especially big thanks to M’Liss Steltzer, RN, for her tireless efforts to bring attention to the dangers of bag slings and to put together the photo-illustrated positioning handout to demonstrate the proper positioning of newborns and small babies.
By Lisa Lactivist, on October 20th, 2009
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/article1083020.ece
Margot Sunderland, director of education at the Centre for Child Mental Health in London, says the practice, known as “co-sleeping”, makes children more likely to grow up as calm, healthy adults.
Sunderland, author of 20 books, outlines her advice in The Science of Parenting, to be published later this month.
She is so sure of the findings in the new book, based on 800 scientific studies, that she is calling for health visitors to be issued with fact sheets to educate parents about co-sleeping.
“These studies should be widely disseminated to parents,” said Sunderland. “I am sympathetic to parenting gurus — why should they know the science? Ninety per cent of it is so new they bloody well need to know it now. There is absolutely no study saying it is good to let your child cry.”
She argues that the practice common in Britain of training children to sleep alone from a few weeks old is harmful because any separation from parents increases the flow of stress hormones such as cortisol.
Her findings are based on advances in scientific understanding over the past 20 years of how children’s brains develop, and on studies using scans to analyse how they react in particular circumstances.
For example, a neurological study three years ago showed that a child separated from a parent experienced similar brain activity to one in physical pain.
Sunderland also believes current practice is based on social attitudes that should be abandoned. “There is a taboo in this country about children sleeping with their parents,” she said.
“What I have done in this book is present the science. Studies from around the world show that co-sleeping until the age of five is an investment for the child. They can have separation anxiety up to the age of five and beyond, which can affect them in later life. This is calmed by co-sleeping.”
Symptoms can also be physical. Sunderland quotes one study that found some 70% of women who had not been comforted when they cried as children developed digestive difficulties as adults.
Sunderland’s book puts her at odds with widely read parenting gurus such as Gina Ford, whose advice is followed by thousands.
Ford advocates establishing sleep routines for babies from a very early age in cots “away from the rest of the house” and teaching babies to sleep “without the assistance of adults”.
In her book The Complete Sleep Guide for Contented Babies and Toddlers she writes that parents need time by themselves: “Bed sharing . . . more often than not ends up with parents sleeping in separate rooms” and exhausted mothers, a situation that “puts enormous pressure on the family as a whole”.
Annette Mountford, chief executive of the parenting organisation Family Links, confirmed that the norm for children in Britain was to be encouraged to sleep in cots and beds, often in separate bedrooms, from an early age. “Parents need their space,” she said. “There are definite benefits from encouraging children into their own sleep routine in their own space.”
Sunderland says moving children to their own beds from a few weeks old, even if they cry in the night, has been shown to increase the flow of cortisol.
Studies of children under five have shown that for more than 90%, cortisol rises when they go to nursery. For 75%, it falls whenever they go home.
Professor Jaak Panksepp, a neuroscientist at Washington State University, who has written a foreword to the book, said Sunderland’s arguments were “a coherent story that is consistent with neuroscience. A wise society will take it to heart”.
Sunderland argues that putting children to sleep alone is a peculiarly western phenomenon that may increase the chance of cot death, also known as sudden infant death syndrome (Sids). This may be because the child misses the calming effect on breathing and heart function of lying next to its mother.
“In the UK, 500 children a year die of Sids,” Sunderland writes. “In China, where it [co-sleeping] is taken for granted, Sids is so rare it does not have a name.”
By Lisa Lactivist, on August 19th, 2009
The Calin Bleu Simple baby slings have just arrived, take a look!
Slightly shorter than the normal range of baby wraps, there are so many reasons to choose a simple wrap?
* Great to start carrying your little one while watching your budget
* Buy a second wrap when the first one is the wash
* Shorter wraps are convenient for back carries
* Shorter wraps are ideal for petite mums (sz 6-8)
* Compact to keep in your handbag as a backup sling.
* Convenient for quick carries like the simple cross carry
Now available in Yummy Chocolate, Mystic Cloud and Brilliant Red
By Lisa Lactivist, on June 17th, 2009
 baby sling dad I have to admit I have a soft spot for baby sling dads. Seeing their little ones snuggled up on their chest or proudly perched on their baby melt my heart. Apparently I’m not the only one, my friend Alan used to call his sling his ‘babe magnet’.
Calin Bleu is calling all babywearing dads. Send them your baby wearing stories, the high and lows of living the life of a baby sling dad. Why do you love carrying your baby? What decided you to use a baby sling? What do you do when you’re together? Do you feel it allows you to build a special connection with your little one or is it just the convenience….
Your words will help other dads who are thinking about getting a baby sling. Photos would be great too. Any sling, anywhere!
3 entries will drawn at random to win a baby sling. The winners will be able to choose among the fleece baby slings and the cotton baby slings. Competition closes at midnight on June 25th, hurry! Spread the word and tell your friends too.
By Juno Charlett, on December 3rd, 2008
This week’s subject was: ‘Examining Our Attitudes Towards Other People’ – the last module of the course. This was a very interactive session, involving us all in several activities which provoked further discussion.
Firstly, we looked at how we label ourselves and how we might label others – according to the various social groups people appear to belong to. So we made a list, including age, gender, race – of course – but also: habits, behaviour, politics, health, occupation and several more.
We then looked in more detail at the assumptions and stereotypes we might make about individuals, on the basis of these group labels.
Looking at how we label ourselves, it becomes quite obvious that we find it more comfortable to interact and communicate with those that we identify with. It is easier to be open in these circumstances.
When faced with unknown cultural traits, communication is much more of a challenge. We feel less comfortable with the situation and it is even more important that we recognise the need to be non-judgmental and open-minded. This became even more apparent to me in the next exercise, when we role-played the interaction of two culturally different people.
I played an individual for whom it is: impolite to look people in the eye, discuss personal things and sit near someone, or touch them, unless I am married to them; and, for me, nodding expresses everything.
My partner was to be as friendly and open as possible, trying to establish common experiences and to make me feel comfortable.
Throughout the exercise, I found it extremely difficult to find anything to say. I could also feel that my partner wanted me to look at her and I felt quite uncomfortable about denying her that. In fact, I felt so uneasy about it, that it was still affecting me later on in the day.
As I reflected on this session on the way home, it really began to make sense to me. I thought about any scenarios which might leave me finding it difficult to communicate. I realised that if I was met with some quite judgmental attitudes – perhaps a mother who felt very negatively towards a midwife that I know, or perhaps a mother with racist attitudes – then I might find it very difficult to overcome that. My reaction to that, even though it might remain unspoken, might hinder any further communication – because I could be thinking about that, and all that implies, instead of really listening to the mother.
When those thoughts occurred to me, I think I realised what the session was really about.
So how do we overcome cultural differences and avoid feeling uncomfortable or being judgmental ourselves?
We were given lots of pointers towards this and it all seems to come back to ‘being present’. By ‘being present’ I mean being open to the unfolding dialogue, without holding on to any preconceived ideas and without trying to predetermine the outcome.
In practising that open attitude, we will find it easier to learn about individual and cultural differences in a positive way.
Part of that is also letting go of our personal need to establish our own identity – feeling that we must express who we are when we are speaking to someone. One of the pointers described this really well – ‘Refuse to get offended – don’t take it personally’. Of course, that is easier said than done sometimes, but there is no real purpose to being defensive when trying to counsel and support someone else.
We also discussed ways of learning more about different cultures and, in particular, religious attitudes to babycare and breastfeeding. I feel fairly ignorant on this subject, so I wondered if there is a book out there? Surely there must be, somewhere!
It was reassuring to be advised by our instructor that we could ask the mother about her customs if we are not sure what they are and to acknowledge our ignorance and/or discomfort in certain situations.
It was also very useful to discuss the process of reflecting on any negative experiences we may have. This process is very important, to ensure that we don’t carry those negative feelings with us when we encounter similar groups of people. The process goes through an analysis of what happened, to ideas for doing things differently in the future.
I found this session really interesting and I have thought about it a lot since. There has been a lot in this training that has had a positive impact on the way I think about and communicate with people generally and I have really enjoyed that.
This was the last training session of the course. Next week’s session is a review (which I am unable to attend) and then we have a graduation ceremony – with the mayor and the local paper in attendance! So I’ll be trying to get a good night’s sleep before that session then!
If you are interested in training to be a Breastfeeding Supporter yourself, then it is worth asking your local midwife or health visitor if there are any courses in your area. Alternatively, you could contact La Leche League on 0845 4561844.
Thank-you for reading!
Juno
By Juno Charlett, on November 25th, 2008
Wow! It’s hard to believe that we are already at week 10. It’s almost the last week, as week 12 is a review session – and I am unable to make it to that one. After that, we have a graduation!
This week’s session was a bit odd. There was a lot of material that the instructor was expected to cover, but much of it we have already covered. One aspect for discussion today was, ‘making breastfeeding work in everyday life’, which was actually the title of week 8.
However, we did have another lively and informative discussion and I am finding myself more confident about asking our instructors for more detailed information. It’s as though I have a small foundation of knowledge and experience, now that it has been organised and digested, and I am ready to build upon that.
This week’s session was titled ‘Breastfeeding in Different Situations’, so we were looking at some of the circumstances that can arise unexpectedly and others that it may be possible to prepare for.
Firstly, our instructor emphasised the importance of new mums finding out as much as they can about breastfeeding antenally and seeing a mother breastfeed if possible. It is also important that new mums are aware of the choices and support available to them in those first few days of their baby’s life. This requires good antenatal care, perhaps with classes in breastfeeding. Our Sure Start centre now offers specific breastfeeding information sessions for antenatal parents, because the 4 antenatal classes just don’t give enough time to devote to breastfeeding.
Armed with this knowledge, mums are better able to understand how breastfeeding their newborn might work, but of course not everything can be planned for.
A few of the unexpected scenarios we discussed were:
Separation of mother & baby and the importance of breast pumps, rest and fluids for mum;
Jaundice in the newborn and the knowledge that breastmilk is superior to formula for treating jaundice, despite the perception of hospital staff;
Illness in the mother and the necessity to keep mum & baby together as much as possible;
Cleft lip and/or palate and Down’s syndrome and learning to breastfeed. These conditions present quite a challenge to breastfeeding, though, as always, breastmilk is superior to formula for feeding babies. Down’s syndrome babies are often able to breastfeed successfully and mums can look for the usual indicators to assess the progression of breastfeeding (changes in stools over the first week, weight gain, wet nappies, content baby).
Cleft lip and/or palate can cause serious difficulties for any method of feeding and cleft palate may make breastfeeding directly impossible. However, expressing is the very best a mum can do for her baby in these circumstances and mums should be given the facilities and encouragement necessary to express in hospital.
It is common now for mums to be aware of cleft lip and/or palate from their ultrasound scan and by the time baby is born, mum will already have received the date for the baby’s first operation. This gives the mum the opportunity to plan a little.
If expression and feeding by bottle, syringe or cup is initiated at birth, it may still be possible to begin breastfeeding directly later on – after surgery. Our instructor mentioned how it is still important for these babies’ mums to know that skin-to-skin contact benefits their baby and that they can offer their breast for comfort, even if they are not actually breastfeeding. I thought that was a great idea, though something I would never have thought of!
Here is another great cultural obstacle in breastfeeding – parenting even – I think. It would seem strange, maybe unacceptable, to offer our breast to our non-breastfeeding baby to comfort them, but why should it? Why is that any different to offering our little finger to suckle on, or to cuddling?
It was interesting to discuss some of the situations that are new to me, but I think what I really got from this week’s session was the need to empower us all.
Many of us will have experienced being told by a doctor, or other health professional, that we must do a particular thing, without being told the most important thing of all – that we have a choice.
My partner and I certainly went through this when our eldest was born. We felt pushed into allowing procedures to be carried out that we weren’t comfortable with and we didn’t think were necessary.
However, four years ago, our second son was seriously ill with meningitis. We were fortunate to have a patient paediatric consultant who wanted to inform us at every step – nevertheless, he had procedures which he felt were necessary. My partner & I found confidence and support in each other and we asked questions frequently and held up procedures when we were not convinced, or when we saw that our son was distressed. Our consultant was very surprised by our attitude, but also very supportive.
The end result was that our son probably went through as many procedures as he would have anyway, but we understood why each one was being performed and when we took our son home, we knew that we had done the best for him.
I would like everyone to be aware of their choices – and to be aware that most decisions don’t need to be made instantly. Feeling part of the decision making process has helped us to overcome the trauma of what happened to our son, leaving us without feelings of guilt.
Juno
By Juno Charlett, on November 17th, 2008
This week’s session was about ‘Understanding Baby Needs from Infancy to Toddlerhood’ and it was reassuring to realise that we were all aware of almost all the information that we discussed – particularly regarding new babies.
However, there were a couple of points raised that I found especially interesting and I would like to learn more about.
Firstly, the subject of weaning onto solids. Having had five children over a nine year period, I can vouch for the fact that recommendations on weaning have changed dramatically! With my eldest, I wanted to exclusively breastfeed for as long as possible, but I found an overwhelming amount of advice to begin solids, to help my baby sleep better. The earliest recommended time for weaning then was 14 weeks and so that is what I did. Well, my boy loved food, but he didn’t sleep any better! You’d think that I would have learned from that experience, but I ended up following the same advice not once, but twice, more – with no.s 2 and 3! With my third, I had already heard that WHO were advising six months exclusive breastfeeding and I was crushed when the GP advised weaning at 4 months to help his reflux (as well as his sleeping, which it didn’t).
With no.4 I dug in my heels. Despite poor weight gain and reflux which put no.3 in the shade, I breastfed exclusively for six months – and I did the same with no.5.
So I was really pleased to find that the current Health Authority advice is a definite trend towards ‘baby-led weaning’. That sounds more natural to me, although I hardly know what it means. Wait til six months, offer finger foods (if baby will take them)…. This is all so different from the advice in baby books 11 yrs ago! Can anyone out there tell me anymore?
I had a bit of a Eureka! moment when I was thinking about this the other day. When I began this course, I didn’t think that I had had any particular difficulties breastfeeding. However, I have come to a realisation. It’s been a long time since I felt the need to ask advice about parenting – mainly because I have found I can quietly discover things within a book, without having to consider refusing the advice of the person I have asked, if I didn’t like the sound of it. Thinking back to that time when my eldest was not sleeping well and I was looking for a solution, I was met with the advice to begin solids from both health professionals and relatives and, although I wasn’t happy about it, I followed that advice (and actually felt more disappointed when it failed). It only just occurred to me this week that that advice is the same as saying that my breastmilk was not enough for my 3 month old baby and that if I had stopped to think about how capable my body would be at providing milk for twins, I would have seen how ridiculous that was. I never really saw that as a breastfeeding difficulty, but of course it was. In fact, the difficulties with sleep and my eldest became such a problem for me that I embarked on sleep-training when he was 5 months old. He slept through the night within 3 days and I was incredibly relieved, but that, combined with his early weaning and love of food, led us down the path of reducing my supply. I wasn’t aware of it at the time, but when I fell pregnant when no.1 was eight months, he no longer showed any interest in breastfeeding – although I would have happily continued through my pregnancy.
The other discussion I found fascinating was about ‘nursing-strikes’. I have read a little about this. On occasions a baby may refuse to breastfeed – and this may continue for up to four days! This is obviously very distressing for the baby’s parents and we were given some advice on how to support a mother through a nursing strike:
We must reassure mum that it will pass;
Bottles and dummies should not be offered (in fact, nipple confusion can be the cause of a nursing strike);
Mum should express, to keep up her supply;
It is important that mum rebuilds her baby’s trust with calm, peace & quiet, skin-to-skin contact and avoiding separation from her baby, if at all possible.
There may be other ways to get the baby interested in feeding again, for example: attempting a feed when baby is very sleepy, trying different positions and walking with or rocking the baby.
There are many things that can cause a nursing strike. For example: fright, illness, teething, distractions/interruptions, long separation from mum, a change in routines and arguments or disruptions in the house.
Have you experienced a nursing strike? Did you manage to overcome it? Please write a comment if you can.
Finally, we talked about instances where we had met a new mum experiencing difficulties and had not found a way to help (or, had been that new mum and had not been able to get help from other experienced mums).
I fall into the first category, as I found it extremely difficult to pinpoint the problem when my relative was having difficulties breastfeeding – and my frustration was compounded by the huge changes that would occur in just 24hrs. 24hrs is such a long time in the life of a newborn and his mum, but a mere blink of an eye to the rest of us!
Our instructor reassured us by saying that for breastfeeding difficulties involving newborns, it is vital to spend lots of time with the mother. Only by doing this will we develop a full awareness of the difficulties the mother and the baby are experiencing.
I am sure I must be more prepared for my role of supporting breastfeeding than when I began this course, but I still worry that I might be met with that situation again – where I don’t know what I can offer to help. At least I am aware now of the team of people who can be called upon to help alongside myself.
Juno
By Juno Charlett, on November 10th, 2008
We’re two thirds of the way through the course now and I am a little clearer on what will be expected of me in my role as Breastfeeding Peer Counsellor.
Last week I attended a one day training workshop in ‘Foundation Skills for Helpline Workers’, with the Telephone Helpline Association (THA), for a role that I have taken up with another organisation. It was a fascinating day, but I was surprised at the great difference between my helpline role and my Breastfeeding Peer Counsellor role, which became apparent throughout the day.
The biggest difference is that it is not considered good practice to talk about yourself in the helpline world – and this is something I can very much understand. In a role-play exercise where I did exactly that, it became obvious to me that my focus had shifted from the caller’s story to my own. My mind was thinking of responses before the caller had finished speaking. I was no longer listening.
The expectations of Breastfeeding Counsellors are quite different. Research consistently says that the best people to support mums in breastfeeding are other mums – women who have experience of breastfeeding, who have developed confidence and have ‘mother wisdom’ (in the words of La Leche League) to share and reassurance to give.
We are actively encouraged to share tips and stories, in support of keeping mums breastfeeding – and there the line is drawn in a slightly different place to the helpline worker. In my role as peer counsellor, I need to develop the skills to offer my experience as information where necessary, but to hold back from being pushy, emotional or overloading the mum with too much information. This support is reassurance, sharing, kindness – without persuasion.
This difference of skills is reflected in the title on my ID card:- Breastfeeding Supporter. Not Counsellor, not Peer Counsellor even, because the role isn’t exactly counselling.
And this week’s session was a discussion of the information we have to share (our ‘mother wisdom’!) on ‘Getting Ready for Baby and Ideas to Make Breastfeeding Work in Day-to-Day Living’. It was fun to discuss our stories and I would also love to read yours – so please add a comment if you can think of any really useful tips.
Our instructor encouraged us to become familiar with the latest practices in birth-care and in the latest items available for babies and mums in the shops.
She also passed around some fabulous teaching aids, some of which you may have come across:
-Knitted breasts;
Now I have a couple of these, bought from Lisa at Lactivist.co.uk, but we were also advised to obtain a puppet (or a pattern for knitting one perhaps?) of a baby, whose mouth will open wide – like a sock puppet. I have searched around, but I can’t find one. If anyone knows of any that are suitable, please let me know.
-Marbles, illustrating babies’ tummy sizes;
These are fantastic! Very simple, but they illustrate perfectly the size of a baby’s tummy at four ages between birth and 10 days. They were free from the Medela website, but that was some time ago and they may not be available anymore. I want some!
-Breastfeeding dolls and breasts;
I wasn’t so keen on these. The breast was quite good – and it was possible to feel a lump and show how to massage it – but the doll was quite rigid. I didn’t think it would be that useful to show different positions.
We then went off into groups to discuss our practical tips for making those first few days of breastfeeding as easy as possible – and there were many! It made me realise how much easier it is when you’ve done it before and so how useful it could be to a new mum to know some of what might help.
I think my favourite (which I’d never heard before) is to stay in your pyjamas, because it sends a message to older children and visitors that you’re not available for household chores, making cups of tea, etc. – that your focus is on your baby. I suppose it might prompt a visitor to offer to hold the baby whilst you have a shower, but then I guess you could accept and then put on a fresh pair of PJs!
Juno
By Juno Charlett, on October 27th, 2008
The topic for discussion this week was ‘Basic Breastfeeding Management’, which I imagined to be full of the core elements of the peer counsellor’s ‘tool-box’, I guess – and I suppose it was, but I was surprised at how much of this ground we have already covered. Nevertheless, we did, as always, have some interesting discussions along the way.
So we talked through a variety of factors important to establishing a confident breastfeeding relationship between mother and baby.
Many of us have experienced circumstances with our own babies that help us to understand how frustrating it can be for a new mum who feels things aren’t going well. It’s great that we can use that awareness to help new mums identify what the difficulty is and, most importantly, offer some solutions so that breastfeeding can continue.
We have been told how important early skin-to-skin contact is in establishing breastfeeding and our instructor said that she believes most mothers are given the opportunity of that experience now.
I was thinking about that myself recently, as the first two of my babies had a remarkably different start to the other three, even though they were all born at home.
My eldest was born after a ‘textbook labour’ – a big, healthy baby. I held him, skin-to-skin, for a couple of minutes, during which time it became apparent to the midwives that he was slipping away. He was then taken from me to be resuscitated – which took over half an hour – and then rushed to hospital in an ambulance. I didn’t see him again for an hour or two and didn’t hold him again for several hours. However, at 20 hours old, he decided a drip was not enough and began sucking his fists urgently. Breastfeeding began then and continued (in abundance!) for 8 months.
No.2′s birth was a little different. The two midwives in attendance were obviously uncomfortable with a home birth following our traumatic history. At the appearance of meconium in the amniotic fluid, they urged me to hurry up – completing the second stage in 10 minutes flat. They then took my baby’s temperature and dressed him before giving me the opportunity to hold him. Although I began breastfeeding as soon as possible, I was not as responsive to his cries and did not strive to keep him close to me all the time in those first few hours. He didn’t feed as much, he slept more and consequently he lost more weight and became more jaundiced than his siblings. As it happens, he has also experienced more health problems than his siblings too. However, we did establish breastfeeding well and we continued for 14 months.
It was interesting to hear that lack of the skin-to-skin experience at birth has been shown in research to lead to a greater weight loss and more jaundice – in common with my experience.
The positioning and attachment of the baby can also make a huge difference to the outcome of breastfeeding and we were asked to always consider checking attachment in our roles as peer counsellors, because it is such a common issue leading to difficulties.
As we talked about it, I was reminded of the huge difference in feeding a newborn to my current experience of feeding a toddler – and how easy it is to forget how awkward those first few feedings can feel.
We each talked about the most comfortable positions we had found and I was surprised by how many had used the ‘football hold’, as well as the traditional cradle-hold and lying down. The ‘football hold’ was not one that I remember using much myself, but other mums described how useful it was in feeding a struggling baby – and I could really understand the need for an alternative position. I do remember using swaddling in those circumstances, but there was often a hand popping out of the blanket and getting in the way.
I also found it hugely beneficial to use a sling – especially with my youngest, who always wanted to be carried or fed when I had to do something else.
As well as the different positions, we were reminded that the baby needs to be at the right height to suckle comfortably and most of us remembered using lots of pillows and cushions in the first few weeks. In fact, with my boy being so big now, I still sometimes settle down on the sofa with a pile of cushions, so we can be really comfortable.
We also discussed the importance of feeding on demand. I suppose this is one of the main aspects of breastfeeding which remains at the mercy of our cultural expectations. Lots of the mums in the group knew other mums who, despite adhering to all the other recommendations, felt it was important to feed by the clock. This had led to difficulties with some, but one mum in our group said her son naturally fell into a pattern of feeding ‘on time’ and she found that it didn’t interfere with continuing breastfeeding.
The importance of focusing on the baby’s cues is well-documented. In the early weeks, the mother’s body is responding to the baby’s body by producing more milk, the more the baby feeds. Restricting feeds at this time could lead to a reduction in the mother’s milk supply. Not only that, responding to baby’s cues is part of the dialogue between mother and child that goes beyond the breastfeeding relationship.
However, some babies do settle into a routine early on – and that just goes to show how different babies can be. My babies have differed enormously. My 4th baby rarely cried, sucked her thumb and slept through the night from 9 weeks. Of course we put it down to our fantastic parenting skills – and then we had no.5! He has been the opposite in all those respects!
It is because of those differences that we are encouraged to ‘watch the baby – not the clock’. Although we might want to guide them towards a routine that suits us and our families eventually, at first we must establish what their needs are and how we can meet them.
I feel very optimistic when I hear about this growing trend towards listening to our children, rather than controlling them. I know it isn’t as widespread as we would like it to be, but it is a positive step in a new direction.
Next week, we have a break for half term, so it’ll be two weeks before my next post, but please come back with lots of comments – it always makes for really interesting reading.
Juno
By Juno Charlett, on October 21st, 2008
Dear Granny
Mummy is breastfeeding me because she knows it’s best
But I expect you’re wanting to help her get some rest
I’m very time consuming because I am so new
I know how much you want to help – there’s lots that you can do
Washing, cooking, ironing – you can think of more
Let Mummy do the feeding ‘cos that is not a chore
Both Mum and I need practice until we get the knack
So please don’t say “Good gracious! Another little snack?”
Granny, you’ve got lots of tips – for you are very wise
We welcome your suggestions – but please don’t criticise
You were once like Mummy and now her turn has come
With your love and patience she’ll make a smashing Mum!
Gill Rapley, 1995
This week we had a lively discussion about ‘Barriers to Breastfeeding’. This is obviously a topic of wide-ranging issues and many of the issues raised struck a chord with one or more of the mums in the group.
What sorts of things prevent mums from having a positive experience of breastfeeding? I suppose a large proportion of them can be seen as cultural (in some ways all of them can). For instance: formula and baby-bottle marketing; attitudes of hospital staff; lack of positive role models in the media; attitudes of work-mates and, that old chestnut, ‘Old Wive’s Tales’ (how many have we heard?).
The influence of society and culture around us is so strong though, that it is almost impossible not to internalise the attitudes and the words of those around us. Many fears are instilled in women which become a real barrier to breastfeeding ’successfully’. For example: a fear of pain; of losing freedom; of a change in body-shape; or simply a fear of failure.
For any woman about to become a mother who fears the changes that are inevitable, some sort of support is essential.
If difficulties do arise in the first few days or weeks of breastfeeding (and for many they do), some women find that the solutions offered to them in our culture do not involve continuing breasfeeding. Family, friends and the media may convince the mother that she will have less pain, more sleep, more normality, if she bottle-feeds her baby.
Again, this led me to think that this is about more than just breastfeeding. As one mum told me about formula milk cartons, I found myself thinking, ‘How convenient!’ – then stopping myself with a huge red light: ‘What am I thinking?! What could be more convenient than breastfeeding?’
This culture, that we are a part of, is so wrapped up in consumerism that we can be easily convinced that we need this, or that, to help us fit into our societal roles. So many things come in a package to make our life easier that we have forgotten one of the most important skills that we have as human beings – adaptation.
The instructor told us that she has visited many mums who have asked her, ‘When will life get back to normal?’ Maybe they haven’t realised that what they are describing as ‘normal’ is actually ‘life without a baby’. Life with a new baby hasn’t met their expectations, because those expectations have been shaped by our modern culture.
Of course, having a baby (especially the first time) is a shock to us all – and so we all need support to embrace the change, adapt and find our own parenting style.
It doesn’t help when a midwife on the post-natal ward tells you your baby needs a bottle of formula, because he is hungry, and then presents you with said bottle and the expectation that you will give it to your baby – the experience of at least one mum in our group.
Or when a new mum is told by hospital staff that her baby must experience a bottle before he is a few weeks old, or he may never take one (and you wouldn’t want that, would you?).
Fortunately, our local hospital has now begun UNICEF training programmes, to work towards the ‘Baby-Friendly’ status. This should make some positive changes to delivery, baby, post-natal and children’s wards. Let’s hope that someone sees the sense in passing that information on to all hospital staff. They must remember that all mothers in hospital for non-infectious conditions have a right to breastfeed too.
For some mothers, the choice to breastfeed couldn’t be more difficult. Medical opinion may strongly advise against breastfeeding for mothers who are HIV positive or who are taking medicines or drugs, but it is still the mother’s decision to make.
Our instructor explained that she feels her position, as a medical professional, is to give information to the mother (or parents), so that they can make their own decision. Then she (our instructor) will respect and support that decision, even if she feels it is not the decision she would have made herself.
The exception to that would be where an issue of child protection exists and I asked if, by choosing to breastfeed against medical opinion when HIV +ve, would that be considered a child protection issue? We were told that only evidence of child abuse occurring – not ‘potential risks’ – would be an issue for us to report.
I also asked if any changes had been made to the level of support given to antenatal women undergoing a HIV test in pregnancy. None have.
Many years ago, I had a HIV test in a London clinic, because I was travelling to an Israeli kibbutz and I knew I would be tested there. In the London clinic, I was given counselling before the test (which reassured me that the behaviour which I had perceived as high risk was, in fact, quite low risk), followed by more counselling before receiving the results and after receiving the results. This high level of care really helped me to deal with the anxiety involved in taking the test.
In current ante-natal screening , mums-to-be receive no counselling at all – unless the test comes back positive, then they are referred to the hospital (but, by then, they have already been given the awful news).
I wonder if this procedure is regional?
Another aspect of parenting that some mums in the group felt the medical establishment needed to catch up on was that of co-sleeping. Although our instructor explained that many professionals accept that mums choose to sleep with their babies, the information given out remains extremely cautious on the subject. My favourite warning is: ‘Do not sleep with your baby if you are excessively tired’ – surely that is exactly when most parents begin co-sleeping!
The implication of the information is still that every parent’s aim should be to have a baby safely sleeping all night through in their cot, even though there is much evidence to suggest that co-sleeping encourages breastfeeding and attentive parenting – particularly in the work of Dr.Sears.
This has been a very long blog this week – following some really enjoyable discussions in the group. If you still have a few moments left, it would be great to see your comments.
Many of the mums in the group have said that they wish they had been on this course when they started breastfeeding and I wondered:
What do you know now that you wish you’d known when you started out on your breastfeeding journey?
Juno
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