This is from the blog Custom Made Milk
I have only just discovered it and there is a wealth of information and very well written articles there. This made me laugh though – especially the bit about “my cabinets are too small”. Genius!
But..But.. I can’t formula feed! (Common breastfeeding excuses applied to formula/bottles)
(Disclaimer: I have nothing against formula-feeding or supplementing moms. I was just struck by a random moment of humor where I realized that many of the reasons why a mom might choose to formula feed over breastfeeding actually apply to my decision to breastfeed.)
I can’t formula feed. I have low supply. Once I empty a can, it wouldn’t magically fill back up again. I’d try the whole “supply and demand” thing of going to the grocery store to stock back up. But my baby would scream if I do that. I can’t stand the screaming!
Besides, my cabinets are too small and I’d prefer to keep them sexy and uncluttered with all the formula cans. I’ve heard that formula feeding only works for people with big cabinets, anyway. As long as they’re not SO big that it’s hard to stack the formula cans. So really, formula feeding only works for people with medium sized cabinets.
And I’d be nervous about wondering if my baby was getting enough or getting too much. How do formula feeding moms know that their baby is getting enough? If baby cries, how do they know if he wants a bottle or if he wants a pacifier? And how do they know if they’re over-feeding baby? Every weight check would make me paranoid that my formula mixing skills were just not up to par.
I’d also be afraid to go out of my house if I was formula feeding. I’d be afraid that I forgot the bottles or the nipples or the formula or that I didn’t bring enough, or that I brought too much. And besides, I feel SO awkward trying to bottle feed my baby. He always screams when I’m mixing the formula, but I can’t mix it any faster because I need to make sure all the clumps are gone. There’s just no way I can imagine bottle feeding a baby discreetely in public! I’ve tried all those hints and tips that I’ve seen other mothers mention, but I just can’t get a hang of it.
Not to mention nighttime bottles. I like getting sleep. How do you get sleep if you have to prepare and warm a bottle? I just can’t imagine how a parent could do it. Plus, there’s so many worries about formula and SIDS that I’d be afraid my baby would die. (excuse commonly applied to co-sleeping)
And how would I be able to pay attention to my older child while I’m bottle feeding or washing the bottles? Not to mention the fact that it would interfere with my husband’s ability to bond with our child, since he’d have to be washing bottles too. And working to pay for the formula.
Which brings me to another thing. I don’t think I could do the whole formula feeding thing, because I’d be constantly worried about the source of formula drying up. I mean. It’s a horrible economy. How will I know in the beginning if I can make it to a full year of formula feeding? If I were to formula feed, I’d always be worried about the supply. So I might try it in the beginning… But I have to tell ya, if the stock market drops any more than it has already.. I just wouldn’t be able to deal with the anxiety and would have to give it up.
Plus, what happens when baby gets teeth and starts to chew on the nipple bottles? And I hear it’s painful when you move from the ready-made formula to the cans of powdered formula, because those pull-tops can have razor-sharp edges. I don’t know if I would be able to deal with the pain of cutting up my fingers on those edges! Sure, in theory I could learn new techniques that would enable me to open the can without cutting myself.. But really, the idea of a paper cut makes me cringe, so I don’t even want to try. I think I’ll wean my baby off of formula when I need to make the switch away from the ready-made samples.
I don’t know how people do it, honestly. Maybe it’s easier with practice.. But I tried a few bottles in the beginning with my older son and it just didn’t work for me. So with this child I’m not even going to bother.
…Now how do I get those damned formula samples and coupons to stop showing up at my door? I tried throwing sage tea at them and wrapping them in chilled cabbage leaves. But none of the old tricks work, darnit. Maybe some benadryl?
Haha! Yes, I think the whole cabinets bit is brilliant too!
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Ha, brilliant! I’ve got ‘large’ cabinets and have never had a problem. 4 months in and still going strong!
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Teehee, been feeling a bit down recently but this cheered me up. And I have stupidly ‘large’ cabinets too but at nearly 5 months I’m not doing too badly!
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I love the sage tea and cabbage leaves to make the coupons and samples go away
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I love it. I’m FAR to lazy to faff around with bottles
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If you are giving your phone number at places like Motherhood Maternity and Babies R Us they are SELLING your information to formula companies. THAT’S why you’re getting all the crap you don’t want.
Call the companies sending you the stuff and tell them they are not to send you anymore.
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I always loved: “I breastfeed because I couldn’t produce enough formula.”
Great little article!
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Cute article, though it stings a bit for me. I would have loved to breast feed both my daughters, but I ended up with such severe thrush infections both times, that left me with horribly cracked and bleeding nipples and secondary infections, I had to stop and switch to formula. There wasn’t any other choice for me or my girls, and I’ve heard many similar stories from friends and relatives.
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hahaha that made me chuckle. im glad i didnt bother with all that bottle feeding, sounds like hard work!
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Good for you that you were able to breastfeed, how kind of you to poke fun at those of us who had no alternative but to bottle feed. Thank goodness the rest of society is so understanding and doesn’t make bottle-feeding Mothers feel inadequate, and thank goodness there are so many supportive groups and websites and organisations out there for Mums who bottle feed, so that we don’t feel less bad about ourselves as Mothers.
ha ha ha
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Brilliant! This cheered me up a lot!
So glad I ‘can’t’ formula feed either, even with medium sized cabinets!
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Cute! and I just have to say I am a previously formula feeding mom who BF my 1st for 8 weeks until my pedi told me I wasn’t making enough and needed to supplement, my supply dwindled to nothing, etc. However I MADE A CHOICE to listen to my pedi and not seek a second opinion, or a third, or fourth, or whatever it took to give my baby the best start and continue breastfeeding. I hate when FFing moms say they had no other choice or weren’t able to continue. There are only 2% of women who can’t BF. THE REST made a choice. This time around with my 2nd LO, same issues (actually more issues), same dumb pedi, diffferent CHOICES by me. 7 months later, still BFing. So, do what you want to do. I won’t shame you for FFing. But don’t lash out at someone else b/c of your own decisions.
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Love it. I am always baffled at the excuses formula feeding moms use. I seriously breastfed a reflux baby who nursed about 20 hours out of the day for the first 6 months, through constant thrush, bleeding, cracked and raw nipples and there was still no way I was going to stop breastfeeding. I was determined to give my child the best no matter the cost for me. Im so glad I stuck with it
We nursed two years and after the first 6 months, it was the most convenient, healthy and smart way to do things 
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Lol big cabinets here too, and mastitis at 6weeks & thrush at 7weeks – 10weeks old yesterday at still persevering! (:
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Website for formula feeders ? The instructions are on the side of the tin. And btw I FF my first son, yet can still see the humour in this! Some people are so tetchy!
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There are less than 2% who pysically can’t breastfeed but there are about 50% who believe they can’t breastfeed because they are not given the support they need to get through the hard bits.
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Come on Melissa Spencer, get a funny bone! Breastfeeding mothers and supporters don’t make you feel guilty – you do it to yourself. Lots and lots of women have issues breastfeeding, some choose to work through the hard times, some don’t. You made your choice, deal with it.
Thoroughly enjoyed the article, the washing bottles was my favourite bit – the poor dad, working to pay for formula then coming home to scrub bottles!! Too funny an image!!
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For the record people… she is NOT making fun of people who CAN’T formula feed. She is making fun of the excuses people give when they CHOOSE not to formula feed. Read it again if you missed that!
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Natalie – the article is the playing on the excuses that people use when they say ‘I tried to breastfeed..’ only applied to formula feeding.
I see it all the time, and I find myself doing it when people ask about my first son, as I am now breastfeeding my second..
‘was T breastfed?’
And I’m quick to snap ‘no, he was Tongue tied but wasn’t diagnosed until we had already gave up trying’
So many people rush in to give their excuses, apologies even, for not breastfeeding, but there’s no need to.
The truth of the matter is that if more help was given then more people would be able to persevere, but it seems that if you really want to persevere then you need to go out and find the help yourself, that’s what I had to do this time around, phoned a lactation consultant to get some proper help and advice and motivation to keep going!
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one of my closest friends was once ridiculed by her partners family for choosing to breastfeed! She was told that breastfeeding is for ”cheapskates” and if she loved her baby she would spend money on formula! Aaaaahhhaahahahahahahaahahaaa! How silly!
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Awesome article, it made me laugh so much. I thought the whole supply and demand thing then the baby crying was hilarious. It’s so true though. I always wonder how moms who don’t breastfeed calm their babies. Hats off, we have it easier. You just plug and go, baby cries are done.
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Brilliant
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I think it’s very easy to judge mothers to judge others. Some people gave it their all to BF and when it didn’t work out turned to formula. Guess what? Those formula fed babies turned out just as well as the BF babies. I think all mother’s should make the decision that works best for them and their sanity. We all need to stop judging each other. Those who succeeded at BF are no better than those who tried their best, but ended up needing formula to ensure their child’s benefit.
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Lol!!! This really made me giggle :0) I thought it was really cute :0) thank you for writing this, I’m totally sharing it!
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