The Lactivist Facebook wall has been busy with people sending in breastfeeding related jokes, here they are – if you can add to them please leave a comment. Sorry I haven’t credited anyone with the jokes, some of them were duplicated and it gets confusing copying things from facebook – if you want to claim your joke just let me know 🙂
- Formula companies who insist they abide by the WHO code
- A woman is walking down the street, with her blouse open. A cop is approaching from about a block away, thinking, “Boy, my eyes must be going, it looks like that woman’s right breast is hanging out.” As he gets closer it becomes apparent that her breast is hanging out. When he gets face to face with her he says, “Ma’am, are you aware I could cite you for indecent exposure?” She says, “Why, officer?” “Well, your breast is hanging out.” She looks down and says “OMIGOD, I left the baby on the bus!”
- On board a plane, a man was seated next to a young mother with a baby in arms. When her baby began crying during the descent for landing, the mother began nursing. Turning to the neighbouring passenger, she explained that her pediatrician said breast feeding would help alleviate the pressure in the baby’s ears.”
“Huh” said the man. “And all these years I’ve been chewing gum.”
- A new medical study has shown that a woman’s breast-feeding isn’t adversely affected by aerobics. It was found, however, to be pretty distracting to guys in the class
- Breast milk is better than any udder milk! (this was a Lactivist t-shirt slogan for a while a few years ago, I might get it put on mugs)
- Which bees make milk? Boo-bees!
- Not a joke but a funny quote ‘whoever said it’s no use crying over spilt milk obviously never pumped 6 ounces and then dropped it’ 😉
- A woman and a baby come into the doctor’s office.
She was told to go into a room and wait for the doctor.
After arriving there, the doctor examined the baby and asked the woman, “Is he breast fed or on the bottle?”
“Breast fed” she replied.
“Well, strip down to your waist,” the doctor ordered.
He pressed, kneaded and pinched both breasts for a while in a detailed examination.
Motioning to her to get dressed said, “No wonder this baby is hungry. You don’t have any milk.”
“Naturally,” she said, “I’m his aunt. But I’m glad I came.”
- Why are womens breasts like a trainset a kid gets for christmas? Because they were both designed for kids but dads like to play with them
- What did the baby say to his mother after breastfeeding?
Thanks for the mammaries!
- 3 brothers walked into a bar, one was called matt, one called pat and the other tat. Barman said how come 2 of you are so big, and one so small. Matt replied, our mother breastfed us, we drank so much there was no tit for tat……… Boom boom (groan)
Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam. The last question was, ‘Name seven advantages of Mother’s Milk’, worth 70 points or none at all.
One student, in particular, was hard put to think of seven advantages. He wrote:
1) It is perfect formula for the child.
2) It provides immunity against several diseases.
3) It is always the right temperature.
4) It is inexpensive.
5) It bonds the child to mother, and vice versa.
6) It is always available as needed.
And then the student was stuck. Finally, in desperation, just before the bell rang indicating the end of the test, he wrote:
7) It comes in two attractive containers….and the cat can’t get at it.
He got an A.