There were some technical problems with the last poll but I am hoping that this will work now. I’ve deleted the old poll so this one starts fresh – please vote again if you have voted before.

You can vote for up to 3 forums and the poll ends on the 31st October 2010.

Thank you to all the people who nominated their favorite breastfeeding friendly websites. I have sorted them out into categories and the first one is

The Most Breastfeeding Friendly Forum.

The forum with the most votes at the end of October 2010 will be awarded a prestigious Mothers Milk Marketing Board Seal of Approval! There will be runners up awards too!

 Loading ...

Here, in alphabetical order are more details about the nominated forums.

Breast Buddies

http://www.breastbuddies.nice-forum.com

Breastfeeding Support Forum and Natural Parenting Forum. Topics ranging from Newborn feeding and full term feeding (extended breastfeeding). We also cover Babywearing, Cloth Nappies and other Natural parenting topics. Help for all mums

The Bundle Jungle

http://www.thebundlejungle.com/

The Bundle Jungle is friendly and welcoming to those trying to conceive, pregnant women, fathers to be and parents from all walks of life. What makes our forum different to other mainstream pregnancy and parenting forums is, not only our focus on community support but, also our interest in challenging the way we look at parenting.

“With the breastfeeding guru system, advice and support section, breastfeeding stories section and upcoming charity auction for Cheshire and North Wales Milk Bank we are huge breastfeeding fans!”

Cloth Nappy Addicts Forum

http://clothnappyaddicts.co.uk/forum/index.php

A forum run by Natasha, a WAHM and total cloth nappy addict and assisted by “SaraSeahorse” a woolly WAHM and “puddlepants” a nappy, woolly and clothing WAHM.

The Green Parent Forum

http://www.thegreenparent.co.uk/forum

The Green Parent is the UK’s leading green lifestyle and natural parenting magazine. A truly inspiring read, TGP is like nothing else on the newsstand, with insightful intelligent journalism covering topics from babywearing and attachment parenting to home-education and alternative medicine. Each issue features regular columns on Organic Gardening, Seasonal Food and Drink, Green Travel, Ethical Fashion and lots more. The magazine is produced by a small team of passionate experts who live and breathe the positive message of the magazine.

“So full of other mums who have the same ideas on breastfeeding and other topics. Always someone there to offer help, advice and support I always point breastfeeding mums there.”

I want my mum

http://www.iwantmymum.com.

“I’m someone who’s found the information and support there invaluable in successful breastfeeding, helping me meet other like-minded mums IRL, and having a great resource to recommend to expectant mums. Without their support I may well have stopped ( or at least tried to stop, my daughter would have a lot to say about it!) feeding my youngest, but instead we’ve past 2 yrs, still going strong and still finding the info there fab.
Knowing that info on there is evidence-based, moderators include fully qualified breastfeeding counsellors who DO check the veracity of statements made. The emphasis is information, not advice, and a very friendly place to ask important questions.”

Mad Mums

http://www.madmums.com/

Parenting and Pregnancy can be very daunting and sometimes, it can really help to speak to people who have been or are going through the same things that you are. The Madmums Buddy Scheme has been designed to put you in touch with other Mums who have experience in specific areas of Pregnancy and Parenting. You can use this free and confidential service on a “one to one” basis away from the forums to get in touch with one of our Buddies who will then contact you personally.

Mama Pack Forum

http://www.mamapacks.eu/forum/

Mama Packs are the United Kingdoms ONLY ethically influenced, trade marked Mum & Baby sample pack. A pack you wont find nasty chemicals in, a pack you will love receiving!

“The ladies there have such a wealth of experience and a geniuine love for the benefits of breast feeding that I have been greatly encouraged to keep breastfeeding, despite my child being seriously ill and in an incubator when born and later whilst she underwent major surgery. Now I am BFing past the age I had previously thought ‘normal’ and my child is thriving!”

Natural Mamas

http://www.naturalmamas.co.uk/

A natural parenting forum with an emphasis on babywearing.

“It’s a natural parenting forum with an amazing breastfeeding support board. Members who contribute are lactation consultants, midwives, breastfeeding peer supporters as well as breastfeeding mothers. The range of breastfeeding topics covered is second to none and the support is phenomental, with lots of experience as well as good non-judgemental evidence based advice. I love it!!”

Rollercoaster

http://www.Rollercoaster.ie

Pregnancy, having a baby and parenting can all bring you to the heights of joy and the depths of despair – all within the space of a few minutes! RollerCoaster.ie accompanies you on this exciting journey.

“A great community of people with a dedicated breastfeeding board”

Latch on Britain invites all nursing mums to help raise the profile of breastfeeding by taking part in an event on Wednesday September 1st.
Just arrange to meet some friend or family in town or at home or head out to your local cafe, park or community centre and then at 11am, give your baby a feed!
For more information and how to enter our competition, click here: http://www.facebook.com/#!/group.php?gid=147238525293390&ref=ts
C’mon! Latch on Britain and help normalise breastfeeding!!

Hilary wrote this in response to the comments that her article – Stop Pointing, Start Doing got.

Both articles are re-published with permission on www.lactivist.net and Hilary’s own site is here: http://www.maternitywomen.com/blog-all.html. She is American so any reference to laws will be reference to American ones.

Lisa

In our 21st century world we see breasts all the time in newspapers, on the cover of albums, on the catwalk and the red carpet.  We can barely escape them!  A goodly amount of cleavage on display is deemed tolerable or even desirable by many, just so long as they are being used for aesthetic pleasure.  However, even amongst the (so-called) ‘liberal’ media (those very same newspapers/ pop-stars/ celebrities), the sight of a breast being used to feed a child is referred to as ‘creepy’ (Mother & Baby magazine), and images of feeding children are censored if they happen to show a glimpse of areola (Facebook). Breastfeeding mothers are frequently called ‘bullies’ and ‘breastfeeding mafia’ because of their enthusiasm for, and commitment to, breastfeeding.

Here are just a handful of comments I found in recent media coverage of breastfeeding issues:

• “’Gossip Girl’ star Kelly Rutherford might not be uncomfortable talking about breast-feeding, but the rest of us are uncomfortable hearing about it!” ~ NYPost Dec 2008

• “In practice, you realise that most attempts to feed your baby in a public space will be met with subtle but palpable resistance. Older chaps roll their eyes, slick young businesswomen purse their mouths, teenagers look disgusted, waitresses anxious…. But it strikes me as ironic that many members of the public fret about British Muslims donning the hijab, yet happily condone the veiling of nursing mothers.” ~ Rowan Pelling, Daily Telegraph 2008

• “A mother must know when her baby is due a feed, so she should do it before or after going out in public. Anyone else who got their breasts out, or a man who urinated in public, would surely be accused of lewd behaviour” ~ ‘Bombshell’, Dagenham ~ in online discussion @ Virginmedia.com March 2010

• “peeing and pooping is natural too, so why don’t we start doing that publicly?” ~ Adrianne Curry (former America’s Next Top Model) on Twitter

Many seemingly confident, strong women struggle with the basic function of their own breasts after they have a baby.  Some struggle so much that they make the decision not to breastfeed even before they have their child.  They are keen to keep their breasts for sexual and visual assets only, even though they know that breastfeeding would benefit both themselves and their child.  In recent debates I have frequently seen breastfeeding compared to other bodily functions (such as sex, urination, & defecation) and whilst these comparisons to me are appalling, they are also very interesting.  You see, to compare breastfeeding to having a poo says a lot about how ‘shameful’ the whole thing has become, and I ask myself, how – and why has this happened? Why is it so difficult for many people to see a woman breastfeeding?

There is a belief amongst a significant number of anthropologists & historians that at some point in our human history many civilisations were ‘matriarchal’.  Almost every culture on Earth has some sort of ‘mother deity’ in it’s past.  Some matriarchal cultures even remain today including the famed Mosuo people (2, 3) in China, and tribes off New Guinea, in NE India, and in Peru. (4)

The earliest artwork supports the theory of a Goddess-culture in pre-history.  

Three European Venus figurines from the ice-age of ca. 25,000 years ago.  From left to right: Venus of Dolni-Vestonice, Czechia, burnt clay. Venus of Willendorf, Austria, Chalk. Venus of Les pugue, France, mammoth ivory ~ http://www.ancient-wisdom.co.uk/venusfigures.htm

It seems that the female of the species was greatly revered in pre-history because of her capacity to (seemingly) create life spontaneously as the mechanics of reproduction were not yet fully understood.  Men were at worst completely unaware and at best unsure of their role in creating children.  All those thousands of years ago the only parent who could be reliably identified (particularly in cultures which were polygamist) was the mother.  Images of deities of the time show figurines with rounded stomachs, buttocks and breasts, venerating the differences between women and men.  Women had a high social standing with wealth and property frequently travelling down the maternal line.  It is believed that this was the case even in many parts of Europe until approximately 4,000 years ago.

 “In Western Europe, the first signs of Matriarchal societies emerged through figures like Venus, which, again, was interpreted by males as purely sexual through her large breasts and big belly. Unlike patriarchal cultures, these societies revered women due to their corresponding cycles with nature and their ability to give birth.” (5)

 “In a time when survival of elements was a constant struggle, life seemed to be a miracle” (6)

“The progress from the maternal to the paternal conception of man forms the most important turning point in the history of the relations between the sexes” (7)

‘Religion, Myth and Mother Right’ ~ Johann Jakob Bachofen

It is estimated from surviving artwork, that at some during in the Neolithic period, (probably as mankind began farming animals as opposed to scavenging) the balance of power started to change. More phallic images come into play and it becomes obvious that a shift is taking place. (8, 9)   Whilst it’s true that the female ‘goddess’ image did survive elsewhere for generations, the shift had clearly begun.   So why did this change occur?  One of fundemental changes which took place at this point in time was a move from ‘hunter-gatherer’ living to the more settled farming practices.  Higher rates of infant mortality are noted from this period which may be linked to the farming of animal milk, especially when it replaced breast milk in the diets of young children.

“It is very likely that early weaning was a major cause of child death. As we know from history, and from what is currently happening in the developing world, death in non-breastfed or prematurely weaned infants is not due to intrinsic ill health but usually diarrhoea and respiratory infections […] Moreover, early cessation and even earlier supplementation leads quickly to further pregnancy” (10)

Ann Sinnott ~ ‘Breastfeeding Older Children’ Chpt 11.

Sustained breastfeeding afforded our ancestors protection from a life-time of childbearing by giving women a break, in what would otherwise have been a constant cycle of pregnancy and birth.  Introducing alternative milk, and thereby encouraging earlier weaning of infants, led to women becoming increasingly vulnerable as they were likely to become pregnant again more quickly.  As a result, the balance of power began to shift in favour of the male since men were now acting as principal providers.

“Current researchers into ancient history, working in the fields of theology, archeology, art history, and mythology, are uncovering evidence that, starting around 3000 BCE, there occurred a transition in the predominant religious and political structures that governed humanity. Matriarchal societies, which had worshiped goddesses of the earth and moon such as Innana, Ishtar, Isis, Demeter, and Artemis, gave way to patriarchal societies, which followed the solar gods and heroes such as Gilgamesh, Amen Ra, Zeus, Yahweh, and Apollo” (11)

Demetra George ~ ‘Mysteries of the Dark Moon’

The predominant religion of the last two millennia has been Christianity.  One of the most cutting remarks ever to have been thrown in the direction of the established Christian Church came from the remarkable Sojourner Truth (12) (an emancipated black slave) in 1851.

“And how came Jesus into the world? Through God who created him and the woman who bore him. Man, where was your part?”

How emasculating is that?

 The psychoanalyist Karen Horney (1885 – 1952) also had some interesting theories, especially that which she described as ‘womb envy’ (13) .

“An important question for Horney is why men see women as they do. She contended that male envy of pregnancy, childbirth, and motherhood, and of the breasts and suckling, gives rise to an unconscious tendency to devalue women[..].”

“..the threat of woman is not castration but humiliation; the threat is to his masculine self-regard. As he grows up, the male continues to have a deeply hidden anxiety about the size of his penis or his potency, an anxiety that has no counterpart for the female, who “performs her part by merely being”.”

 ~ The Karen Horney Society Website

 Horney hypothesised that:

“The “womb-envy” of the male must be stronger than the so-called “penis-envy” of the female, since men need to depreciate women more than women need to depreciate men.”

 ~ The collected works of Karen Horney (volume II). W.W. Norton Company, New York

This is not the first time I have heard this type of argument.  I have often seen it mooted that men may feel on some level inferior to women sexually in part because a woman is capable of multiple orgasms and the male (usually) only one at a time.  Prior to the invention of the DNA test, men never even knew whether they had fathered the child they were supporting.  The female of the species seems capable of endless pleasure whilst the energy of the male is quickly subdued by her hungry mouth-like orifice!  He is ‘spent’ whilst a woman is capable of continuing to have sex with multiple partners.  Women live longer, they multi-task with ease, they follow a ‘lunar cycle’ which even today is shrouded in mystery, they undergo enormous physical changes during pregnancy, endure the pain of childbirth and then have the ability to sustain a baby at the breast for months and years on end.  The argument is that this contributes to a deeply-buried inferiority complex within men which has throughout modern history led to a diminution of all things maternal.  Since we now live within a patriarchal society, men have influenced popular press and government for centuries.  The degradation of women has affected every area of life and despite all the progress of the past hundred years, there is still a very long way to go before we can say we have true equality.  This has resulted in generations of women being raised outside of a ‘sisterhood’.

We no longer retreat to the ‘red tent’ monthly to share our stories and our wisdom.  We no longer deliver our own babies, we take on the male name when we marry and we accept lower wages and fear to ‘rock the boat’ when it comes to maternity and breastfeeding rights at work.  Small wonder then that some women find it easier to deny their demonstrably female breastfeeding role than to engage in it.  Women often state a desire to let their partners feed their baby as a reason for formula feeding. 

Nourishment of small babies was, until the last century, a female preserve.  It no longer is, usually to the detriment of the child.  Compared to a breast full of milk, the male nipples seem a bit pointless, impotent.

“Males are left with vestigial nipples, a reminder that life begins for all of us as proto-females, and some of us are fated to become more masculinized than others.” (14)

 ~ Louis A. Berman

Yes, it’s possible to see why, on the psychoanalyist’s couch a man might admit to some issues regarding a breastfeeding breast. I found one man admit (in an online discussion at straightdope.com) that:

“As a man with a new baby – and two preceeding babies – I’d like to say that I am still slightly freaked out by the sight of public breastfeeding. I recognize this as my problem and not the mother’s”

If only everyone were so self-aware!  But why – why should the sight of public breastfeeding upset a woman, and even a woman who has herself breast fed? Surely this seems absurd?  This quote (from a mother who breastfed both her children for three months) came in response to a debate on public breastfeeding on a newspaper website in August 2010.

“I believe that a mother can only feed her baby well in surroundings that allow her to be quiet and comfortable, and I am not comfortable with seeing mothers breastfeeding in public”

When a woman, who herself has breastfed, finds the sight of another mother doing the same thing difficult, something strange is going on.  This is obviously not rational thinking, but it is not uncommon.  There must be a reason why some women feel this way.  I believe that in order to survive in what is still a male-dominated world, women become accustomed to hiding aspects of their womanhood from quite early in life. 

When I was a young woman I found going to the check-out with sanitary towels embarrassing.  Why on earth should I have felt that?  I am female, I have periods (which are a demonstration of my fertility), and yet I grew up feeling that this was somehow shameful.  Other cultures throughout history have delighted in a young woman’s transition to fertility.  In early human cultures where it was a rare event (due to constant pregnancy or breastfeeding) it was even more celebrated, often in women-only ceremonies. (15, 16)  Not now though – as the advert says, ‘why stop when your period starts?’.  We carry on as normal and pretend menstruation doesn’t exist.  We tell white lies to our friends and employers when we suffer from period pain because we don’t want to admit the true reason for our absence.  We grow up hiding the aspects of our femininity which don’t fit with the prevailing climate and we embrace those traits most likely to make us more appealing and less threatening to the status-quo.

I believe that true equality between the sexes can only come about when we all celebrate and venerate our differences.   By adapting to exist within the ‘man’s world’ we deprived them of elements of their masculinity and lost touch with elements of our own femininity.  Men and women are not the same.  Both genders have their strengths and weaknesses and neither one is superior to the other.  As women, as mothers, as partners and fathers, we need to realise that our true strength lies in recognising our true strengths.   Public breastfeeding is a visible reminder of the power of the female.  It recalls within us the incredible mysteries of life, some of which remain mysteries to us even in the C21st.  Being brought face-to-face with a breast (even discreetly) reminds us of what we have lost.

So what remains of these lost ‘goddesses’?  Well, quite a lot actually.  Their power and strength remains intact within each one of us, it’s just a question of allowing it to be seen.  It’s in our mitochondrial DNA.  That part of our genetic make-up which is passed solely down the female line.

“Some molecular biologists say that, aeons ago, the mitochondrion was a free-living organism with its own DNA and possessed the secret of generating lots of energy. It invaded single celled nucleated organisms and has stayed on ever since, dividing, like yeast, by binary fission. Males…. cannot pass it on to their children. [... ] Ultimately every person alive today has inherited their mitochondrial DNA from one single great-great-great…. Grandmother, nearly 200,000 years ago” (17)

~ Stephen Oppenheimer

Quite a number of women, on www.mythnomore.blogspot.com, have chosen to display and celebrate the most obvious manifestation of their womanhood in a way which seems (even to some breastfeeding advocates!) pretty ‘in your face’.  Why have they done this?  Because they have recognised that we need to re-balance.  We need to remove the shame from the breast and start to appreciate it for more than just its aesthetic beauty, just as our ancestors did. The next time you breastfeed in public, congratulate yourself for embracing – and enabling others to open themselves up to – something very old, and very important.

‘Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of god.
Your playing small doesn’t serve the world.
There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It’s not just in some of us, it’s in everyone.
And, as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. ‘

~ Marianne Williamson

1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mother_goddess
2.http://news.softpedia.com/news/Mosuo-One-of-the-Last-Matriarchal-Societies-36321.shtml
3. http://matriarchy.info/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=5&Itemid=26
4. http://www.saunalahti.fi/penelope/Feminism/KhasiGaro.html
5. http://www.docstoc.com/docs/22750/Womens-Studies
6. http://uts.cc.utexas.edu/~gloria/Goddess.html
7. ‘Religion, Myth and Mother Right’ ~ Johann Jakob Bachofen
8. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/4713323.stm
9. http://www.goddesstimeline.com/
10. Ann Sinnott ~ ‘Breastfeeding Older Children’ Chpt 11.
11. Demetra George ~ ‘Mysteries of the Dark Moon’
12. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ain%27t_I_a_Woman%3F
13. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Womb_and_vagina_envy
14. http://www.narth.com/docs/berman2.html
15 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Culture_and_menstruation
16 http://matriarchy.info/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=117&Itemid=148
17 http://www.bradshawfoundation.com/journey/eve.html

I’m really pleased to be part of this, makes me feel all grown up!

On the 1st September a new discount card www.babygrowers.co.uk will launch.

It has been especially created for new and expecting parents and the team who created it are all parents too.

With this in mind they have created a unique partnership with a range of high street companies as well as smaller individual companies to offer you a range of discounts, which include:  home/car insurance, groceries, holidays, maternity necessities, pushchairs, car seats, nursery furniture and much more including a discount on pro breastfeeding t-shirts, bags, badges and cards at www.lactivist.co.uk.

Not only are the Babygrower team offering you a whole host of discounts that will be valid for one year from when you buy the card, they will also be keeping you up to date with their blog and weekly newsletter which will be full of great tips and further special offers.

The cost of the card is only £14.99 and for most people this amount spent will be far less than their actual savings in their first month of use will be far less than their actual savings in their first month of use or in many cases, their first purchase!  For every card sold, £1 will be donated to your selected charity, at time of registering.

Babygrowers are committed to saving you money not just points.

Here are some of the discounts you can get:

Home insurance – 20% off and £50 supercheque vouchers

Car insurance – 15% off and £50 supercheque vouchers

Supermarket shopping – £15 off your first order over £75 then further discounts of £10 for spends over £100

Companies involved so far include: Aviva, Sainsbury’s, Butlins, Monsters and Munchkins, Big Green Smile, Babipur, Natural Nursery, Green Jelly, Cotton Baby, Tots and Tiddlers Toys, Dam Tam, Hello Baby, Green Child, Barnyard Kids, Lactivist, Slumber-Roo, Precious Memories, My Munchkin, VUPbaby, My Funny Bunny, Baby Not Included, DaisychainBaby, Green People and Green Baby with more coming on daily.

To celebrate World Breastfeeding Week 2010 Lactivist, the home of  slogan t-shirts and bags that promote breastfeeding had a competition to find the Moo Boy – that is my son (when he was a lot younger) and the person who started off the whole Lactivist thing.

If I wasn’t critisized for breastfeeding him when he was a tiny baby then none of this would happened.

The 4 winners each searched the site at www.lactivist.co.uk to find his picture and emailed me it’s location.

The winners are:

Laura Cameron

Bekki Lewis

Lisa Fryer

Nicola Kelsall

They each win  a Lactivist bag of their choice, a Lactivist T-shirt of their choice and a handful of cards and badges. I’ll be emailing you all to tell you how to order too

Congratulations and thanks to everyone who entered.

Lisa

Kate had a baby girl!

I’m looking forward to further breastfeeding adventure cartoons from Kate but in the meanwhile, here is one she made earlier

http://www.thefoodoflove.org/

Oscar found some great graffiti

This is such an amazing photo of Oscar wearing his Mummy Milk Rocks t-shirt in front of some very apt grafitti!

Thank you Lisa for sending it to me. I love it so much I have turned it into a postcard.