Moo Boy still has an erratic feeding and sleeping pattern so I am usually pretty tired. I can’t arrange to meet friends ‘cos I can’t guarantee I will have the energy when the time comes. When I do see people I have no conversation anyway because I haven’t done anything, and forming a sentence that doesn’t contain the word ‘goo’ or ‘gaa’ is hard work, goo. Also, as childbirth is a very private thing made very public my sense of boundaries has been disturbed. I don’t know whether it is socially acceptable to discuss breast engorgement with complete strangers at the bus stop. I feel as though I am getting more and more eccentric. Is it ok to wander through town singing ‘you have got a pooey bum, do da do day’ to the tune of Camptown Races? Probably not.
All this has left me feeling extremely isolated. I don’t think I’m depressed, just bored, lonely and under-stimulated. I am too knackered to commit to doing anything or meeting anyone and have to live spur of the moment between feeds and naps.
So, after a couple of weeks of moaning about it all I have decided to do something and am in the process of writing a calendar of things to do at anytime. The idea is that if I have a morning or afternoon where I am not completely exhausted I can go out and do something, instead of moping round town trying not to buy anything. This includes Mother and Baby groups, where I will have to speak to those poor people who are deluded enough to believe that their children are the best, cleverest, most handsome in the world, when it is clearly obvious that my baby is better.
Moo Boy has been foaming at the mouth and sucking his fingers. I think his teeth are starting to move down in his gums. He has just discovered his toes, and I get a big beam of delight when I tickle his feet. I can wedge him into a sitting position and he will clutch a toy for a while, and he loves going out in his pushchair, splashing around in the bath, gurning under his mobile and punching and kicking animals in his baby gym. Actually the cat now owns the baby gym, have you ever noticed the similarity between cat and baby toys? I wonder if Catnip works on babies. He is getting easier in lots of ways as he is happier to amuse himself.
Can I just say to any new mums feeling this way – it is perfectly normal, especially at this early stage and you need to get out there and find support!
Join a mother’s group, go to council/community run activities (ie. children’s storytime at your local library), playgroups, private group classes (swimming lessons, music lessons – whatever). All of these activities are just as much for your benefit as your bub’s.
I have at least one activity a day to go to with my 14 mth old and have had so since she was about 3 months old – it gets us out the house and keeps us sane. Monday is Grandma’s house, Tuesday is the library, Wednesday is playgroup, Thursday is music class, Friday is mother’s group. She ADORES our routine and so do I. We are under no obligation to attend every single week so don’t feel trapped into anything.
I found a fantastic group of mothers to meet with (10 of us have been meeting at least once, if not up to 3 times a week) every week since my daughter was 2 wks old. We were all very lucky that we clicked so well and enjoy each others company so much, most of the mothers in my group don’t have any family nearby so we have all become each others support network, helping out with anything and everything.
I can’t believe I almost wasn’t going to show up to try out the group as I felt so overwhelmed at the thought of getting there on time (which incidently I still don’t manage to do!) So although it may feel like a lot of work to get out there and reach out to other mum’s – it is worth it.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0